Wife advice needed

Man, what is this, the “Ask Divorced Guys for Advice About Women” column or what? Cripes, this whole thread is a prime example of what happens when you ask an Eskimo for advice on the care and feeding of a camel herd. You might get advice…

Let’s separate the (occasional!) kernel of wheat from a whole lotta chaff…

castle-rock-clown wrote:

CaptainMusky wrote:
Just respond “Where did that come from?” Its always easier to beg forgiveness than to ask for permission.

Are you talking about the gun she is holding???

Exactly. The disadvantage of a woman who can shoot will be readily apparent as soon as she starts shooting at YOU. Disregard the above strategy unless you want to find out firsthand the effective range of shotgun pellets.

Bearcat89 wrote:

I just did the same thing with a new wheeler. I didn’t say a word. I’ll just bring it home when it’s ready to be picked up.

Oh boy…

John Rasmussen wrote:

This may be and unpopular idea here, but maybe buy her a gift also? I say this with some grace as I could certainly take my own advise sometimes.

Now we’re getting somewhere.

The only thing I would add, is first express profound regret sprinkled with a liberal dose of “I don’t know what came over me…” as you confess to this totally out-of-character purchase. Then lay the I-had-to-get-this-for-you on her. And “this” better be good. Most guys here would evidently get her a new clothes iron… Hint. Don’t get her a new clothes iron.

Jon, don’t take this the wrong way, but you are probably the best on the forum at getting in touch with your feminine side.

Jon Rasmussen – He knows what women want.

IDK –
I’m that last person you should be asking that question.

supercat wrote:

Say the same thing women do when they buy things. Just say this thing I had this for years!

This definitely doesn’t work for new tattoos… Just sayin’ 😅😅🤷🤷

Lol no oh boys need Mr grouse.

my wife and i have a joint account and separate “fun money” accounts. Anything that benefits just one of us we are supposed to use our fun money for. for example ive been eying a new livescope system for a while now. she could care less about that so that would need to be a fun money purchase. Doesnt work for everyone but it works for us.

Thankfully there arent a lot of material things i need or want in life anymore. I already have all the outdoor gear i need. At this point give me a chair, a good cigar, a 15 yr pour of single malt, a few beers, and a sunset to stare at and im a happy man

People, people, people – Don’t any of you know one of the Garage Logic rules? It’s called the 24 hr rule, if you posses something for 24 hours or longer that goes unnoticed, it’s yours, no questions asked.

Happy Grilling!

My wife and I generally follow these guidelines:

<$500: Dont worry about it
$500 – $1000: Offset with a gift for the other
>$1000: Warrants at least a conversation out of respect for the other and potential implications for joint financial goals

Hoping not to get my man-card revoked for making such a controversial statement!

TheFamousGrouse wrote:

Jon, don’t take this the wrong way, but you are probably the best on the forum at getting in touch with your feminine side.

Jon Rasmussen – He knows what women want.

thanks for the kind words Grouse. Now if I could just get women to see that.

And as always wise words from Grouse for the day. Don’t buy her the iron!

Wait, aren’t you the guy temporarily living in a tiny trailer, and you have a wife in there at that?

Good grief, good luck with all that.

Deuces wrote:

Wait, aren’t you the guy temporarily living in a tiny trailer, and you have a wife in there at that?

Good grief, good luck with all that.

It’s a ice castle. So she should be able to put up with anything at that pace.

Bearcat89 wrote:

<div class=”d4p-bbt-quote-title”>Mr.Beads wrote:</div>
Wait, aren’t you the guy temporarily living in a tiny trailer, and you have a wife in there at that?

Good grief, good luck with all that.

It’s a ice castle. So she should be able to put up with anything at that pace.

I’m at the opposite end, if she’s sacrificing and sucking it up in a box and he comes home, er, back to said box with expensive item, Id fully expect the gun as well, at least a frying pan….

mnfisherman18 wrote:

My wife and I generally follow these guidelines:

<$500: Dont worry about it
$500 – $1000: Offset with a gift for the other
>$1000: Warrants at least a conversation out of respect for the other and potential implications for joint financial goals

Hoping not to get my man-card revoked for making such a controversial statement!

We do not share accounts. If the house needs anything or vehicles or what not that is number 1. We just bought flooring for our upstairs on a Menard card and paid it off in full to recieve the rebate. But that’s all considered when I put money away. The toys I buy and gear I buy Is all out of my overtime and side stuff. And all is paid in full. So it’s money that was never there in the first place. No purchase I have ever made has affected paying for anything needed in life. But that same mind set is why I won’t go in to debt to own a fancy boat. When the one I bought with cash money is doing everything I need it to.

Just tell her you WON it as part of a contest! I’ll even make you a flyer or something commemorating your winnings!

Sharon wrote:

<div class=”d4p-bbt-quote-title”>supercat wrote:</div>
Say the same thing women do when they buy things. Just say this thing I had this for years!

This definitely doesn’t work for new tattoos… Just sayin’ 😅😅🤷🤷

True, True, but wait depends on the happiness between the 2 and where the tattoo is!

Buddy use to have fishing rods delivered to his brothers house. Once they got in the boat she couldn’t tell the difference. Not sure that will work with a grill unless you have 20-25 of them sitting around.

Go get a haircut…..walk in with the grill and your new haircut. When she doesn’t notice the haircut and starts yelling about the grill, begin to cry because she didn’t notice your new haircut.

I’ve never tried this but I’m pretty sure it’s been working for them for years.

My wife and I buy what we want when we want….no joint accounts or anything. When I rolled home in a ZL1 Camaro last summer she just left and went shopping.

Either way the conversation goes, I’ll be interested to hear your opinion on the grill once you get a few chances to give it a go! You’ve mentioned that grill a few times and I’ll be darned if that isn’t the next grill I buy. I’m a charcoal guy but having some of the convenience aspects of the pellet grills while still burning coal would be fantastic.

Bearcat89 wrote:

<div class=”d4p-bbt-quote-title”>mnfisherman18 wrote:</div>
My wife and I generally follow these guidelines:

<$500: Dont worry about it
$500 – $1000: Offset with a gift for the other
>$1000: Warrants at least a conversation out of respect for the other and potential implications for joint financial goals

Hoping not to get my man-card revoked for making such a controversial statement!

We do not share accounts. If the house needs anything or vehicles or what not that is number 1. We just bought flooring for our upstairs on a Menard card and paid it off in full to recieve the rebate. But that’s all considered when I put money away. The toys I buy and gear I buy Is all out of my overtime and side stuff. And all is paid in full. So it’s money that was never there in the first place. No purchase I have ever made has affected paying for anything needed in life. But that same mind set is why I won’t go in to debt to own a fancy boat. When the one I bought with cash money is doing everything I need it to.

Just sharing what works for us, not that its the absolute best or only way to do things. It sounds like you have a system that works for you both Bearcat, so hats off to you. Definitely agree that a “no loans for toys” policy is a good way to operate and build long-term wealth.

It sounds like many here have completely separate bank accounts, I would guess its about 50/50 today with that strategy vs. fully combined. Each has pluses and minuses in my view, but I think regardless of the structure you pick it’s important to have open/honest communication.

Just tell the truth!!! and smile and tell her you love her.

Sharon wrote:

Just tell her you WON it as part of a contest! I’ll even make you a flyer or something commemorating your winnings!

Sharon’s the real MVP here, probably won it from a childrens charity auction or something like that

My wife and I didn’t grow up having much. Leaving us both pretty frugal. Most of our arguments start with one of us taking about something we saw, that we would like to have. The other saying, if you want it go get it. Last year she came home talking about a new sewing machine she had looked at 3 times. I told her. Go buy it or tell me what it is and I’m bringing it home next time I go to town. She just told me the same thing about a new garage.

CRC tell her to kiss .

Where will the services be held?

I wound up buying a $1000 skate sharpener this winter using an unexpected justification.

Sh happened to be talking to one of her good friends and somehow skate sharpeners came up. Her friend started raving about the one they bought for their family and just happened to be the one I wanted. Ultimately, it completely swayed her opinion about it and I bought it.

So maybe see if there’s anyone she trusts that has one and see if they will tell her is the best thing since sliced bread. It wasn’t part of my plan but it worked for me.

Otherwise I’ve always justified these moderate purchases by selling off stuff I’m not using and using money from gift cards and such. Bought a new vex this past winter off of gift cards and selling an older vex unit.

Oh this is just the start. The Ice Castle was the first “adjustment”. Now with this collection of outdoor cooking appliances I need to build a pavilion to arrange and house them in. I came by a new laundry machine for our outback lifestyle. It needs a little touch up, a galvanized tub and washboard. I’m sure she will love it!!! And it’s wood fired!!!

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The skate sharpener you can turn into a profit making business sharpening other’s skates. My dad did it while we were in HS and made thousands a year and only charged $1 per pair.

Doing the right thing is not always easy, but it is always right.

gary d wrote:

Just tell the truth!!! and smile and tell her you love her.

This.

Take this for what it’s worth from a divorced man of 20 years Grow a pair!

I’ve got your pair hangin right here right around knee level, lol. As Adam Sandler says, I got old man balls…

biggill wrote:

I wound up buying a $1000 skate sharpener this winter using an unexpected justification.

Sh happened to be talking to one of her good friends and somehow skate sharpeners came up. Her friend started raving about the one they bought for their family and just happened to be the one I wanted. Ultimately, it completely swayed her opinion about it and I bought it.

So maybe see if there’s anyone she trusts that has one and see if they will tell her is the best thing since sliced bread. It wasn’t part of my plan but it worked for me.

Otherwise I’ve always justified these moderate purchases by selling off stuff I’m not using and using money from gift cards and such. Bought a new vex this past winter off of gift cards and selling an older vex unit.

I hope it’s a Sparxs machine best thing I bought for hockey so far.

As far as the OP. Cook her something real nice on that bad boy.