Republican or Democrat?

This joke was sent to me and does not reflect the views of the management of IDA. That being said, I thought this was funny!

Are you a Democrat, Republican or Southern Republican?

Question: How do you tell the difference between Democrats, Republicans And Southern Republicans?

The answer can be found by posing the following question:

You’re walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small children Suddenly, a terrorist with a huge knife comes around the corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, praises (Pick a god or prophet ), raises the knife, and charges at you. You are carrying a Glock cal .40, and you are an expert shot.

You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family.

What do you do?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Democrat’s Answer:

Well, that’s not enough information to answer the question!

Does the man look poor! Or oppressed?

Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack?

Could we run away?

What does my wife think?

What about the kids?

Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of his hand?

What does the law say about this situation?

Does the Glock have appropriate safety built into it?

Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message does this send to society and to my children?

Is it possible he’d be happy with just killing me?

Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be content just to wound me?

If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away while he was stabbing me?

Should I call 9-1-1?

Why is this street so deserted?

We need to raise taxes, have a paint and weed day and make this a happier, healthier street that would discourage such behavior.

This is all so confusing! I need to debate this with some friends for few days and try to come to a consensus.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Republican’s Answer:

BANG!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Southern Republican’s Answer:

BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!

BANG! BANG! click…..(sounds of reloading).

BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!

BANG! BANG! click …..(sounds of reloading).

Daughter: “Nice grouping, Daddy! Were those the Winchester Silver Tips or Hollow Points?”

My answer would have been somewhere in between the two answers. The one answer was inadequate and the other was extreme. My answer would be: “Tap, Tap, two to the head now you dead.”

dd

My answer would have been somewhere in between the two answers. The one answer was inadequate and the other was extreme. My answer would be: “Tap, Tap, two to the head now you dead.”

dd

That should get the pot stirred. Nice joke Tuck I liked it.
I never realized I was from the south.

That should get the pot stirred. Nice joke Tuck I liked it.
I never realized I was from the south.

How so true I must be from the south

How so true I must be from the south

FROM THE SOUTH ALL THE WAY.

HE WOULD NEVER GET TO THE ALLAH PART

FROM THE SOUTH ALL THE WAY.

HE WOULD NEVER GET TO THE ALLAH PART

I must be from the south also but I am no republican or democrat as if that matters!

P.S. I don’t dial 9-1-1, I dial .357!!

BIRDDOG

I must be from the south also but I am no republican or democrat as if that matters!

P.S. I don’t dial 9-1-1, I dial .357!!

BIRDDOG

That’s why I shoot a .40 Less dialing.

That’s why I shoot a .40 Less dialing.

problem being, no terrorist stands in front of you and gives you any chance to react. they’re cowards, and hit when your not looking. i’m no rep or dem, i’m guessing either would spend the $1.00 for a bullet under these circumstances. although as said, “i didn’t know i had southern blood in me !!! “

big g

problem being, no terrorist stands in front of you and gives you any chance to react. they’re cowards, and hit when your not looking. i’m no rep or dem, i’m guessing either would spend the $1.00 for a bullet under these circumstances. although as said, “i didn’t know i had southern blood in me !!! “

big g

The problem with this is simple… the Southern Republican wouldn’t be caught dead with anything less than a 45… not to mention the fact that there are not enough “bangs” in the answer due to the wife and kids would also be unloading on the perp with their own weapons of choice. Oh… and rather than reloading…. the southern republican would be reaching for his “backup” weapon on his ankle rather than the second magazine, unloading that, then reloading both before continuing.

The problem with this is simple… the Southern Republican wouldn’t be caught dead with anything less than a 45… not to mention the fact that there are not enough “bangs” in the answer due to the wife and kids would also be unloading on the perp with their own weapons of choice. Oh… and rather than reloading…. the southern republican would be reaching for his “backup” weapon on his ankle rather than the second magazine, unloading that, then reloading both before continuing.

I must be some type of Republican. I would have the 9mm barrel blazin except it would be more like Pop, Pop, Pop, Pop, Pop. Now he is barely phased by the cheap bullets, so I fire one more where it counts.

I hope it never comes to that, but I’ll be ready.

I must be some type of Republican. I would have the 9mm barrel blazin except it would be more like Pop, Pop, Pop, Pop, Pop. Now he is barely phased by the cheap bullets, so I fire one more where it counts.

I hope it never comes to that, but I’ll be ready.

Bigfife…you’re a revolver kinda guy aren’t you?

Bigfife…you’re a revolver kinda guy aren’t you?

tell ya what if he was anywhere but the big citie or if he’s by my pickup he’d anwser to the 12 gauge, i think he’d make a nice “hop” with some 000 buck…

tell ya what if he was anywhere but the big citie or if he’s by my pickup he’d anwser to the 12 gauge, i think he’d make a nice “hop” with some 000 buck…