Six Months

Today is six months. 182 days. 4368 hours. To say I lost my husband six months ago doesn’t hold enough weight. The words just seem to fall short. He was so much more than a husband to me. He was my best friend, my partner, my supporter and encourager, my hunting and fishing buddy, my handyman, the one person I could always count on to hang out with me and talk with, my rock and my anchor to the world, the leader of my little family pack. I didn’t just lose my husband that day… I lost my Billy. And I lost part of myself that day too. 💔

I want to take a moment and thank you all for allowing me to mourn so openly here on IDO. Grief work is hard work, but it’s not effective if we don’t also mourn and share. Thank you to those who’ve been praying for me and my family and continue to do so, and for those who’ve reached out to me and sent words of comfort, flowers, chocolates, coffee. These gestures may not seem like a big deal but they truly are a part of what’s holding me together.

A sudden death of a loved one is certainly tragic, and it also assures us that friendship, support, love, and spending time with people (even socially distance time like texting or phone calls) is incredibly important and so valuable to the human spirit. Thank you all. 🧡

No Sharon, thank you. You humble us all with your upbeat positive attitude on life after what you have been through.

As you move along in life the memories will become easier and more precious. Stay positive, keep going forward and never forget there are people here for you. Heck, we might even be talked into mowing your lawn.

Losing a loved one is hard.
You have a great support group; family, friends, and even your IDO family.
The support that is shown to you is a reflection of how you have treated people throughout your life. Great Job!

Take one day at a time, think about where you have came from and where you are going. It is a journey full of ups, downs, and sometimes mediocrity, but make sure you enjoy each and every day

Ron

Sharon, I have never felt pain more clearly over the internet than when you lost Billy. I was shocked so much at reading of his death that it just compounded what I can only imagine your grief to be. I’m sorry beyond measure for your loss.

6 months. It’s strange how it sounds like a long time in some cases but then something like this happens and it’s no time at all when held up to what that person really meant to you. We all feel for your loss and I hope that time keeps the memories sharp while the pain eases.

Grouse

Sharon you’re a very strong person and loved by many. We’re all here for you and mourn for your loss alongside you.

I remember reading your post when it happened and was also shocked even though I don’t know you. I echo the others comments that you seem to be an incredibly positive and resilient person. Keep it up

You continue to be in my prayers, Sharon. Billy was a cool dude, and I am still shocked that he’s gone. All my best to you!

Sharon cherish those memories and move forward one day at a time.
I’m sure you know everybody on here is with you every day.
Stay strong and God Bless.

It’s been a tough six months. Over the years Billy and I became pretty close. He was more like a son than a son in law. We did a lot of fishing and hunting together, and worked on a wide range of projects. We would have long detailed conversations about batteries or how to sharpen drill bits. We drove Sharon crazy. When he was taken so suddenly it was a shock and it hurts, and it’s going to take a long time to get used to a world that doesn’t have Billy in it.

Besides all of that, we’re trying to help Sharon any way we can. You parents know we don’t get a manual to answer these terrible questions. Any help we can get is appreciated.

That’s where all you folks on IDO come in. As her father, I can never thank you all for the kind words, generosity, and support you’ve shown Sharon. We WILL get through this. Thank you all!

SR

Sharon and Steve,
Losing a loved one is a tough deal. Hopefully the good memories will help carry you through.
Not the same as losing a loved one but it still hurts, today was also the day that I lost a fishing buddy 11 years ago. I toasted a bloody and Lienkugels in his honer today.

Being taken as Billy was is hard enough. Too hard. My grandmother was everything to me. She pretty much was gone at 109 but stayed until she was 112. On that evening I whispered in her ear that it was ok to leave. I held her hand and two minutes later she took her final breath. That’s been over twenty years since she left and I still mourn her.

My girls know this kind of lose and Steve is right….there isn’t a parent’s manual to help us get thru these times. I’ve told my girls at these times that the one they miss is not really gone as long as they don’t forget them. I don’t think a day goes by that I don’t recall something about my Grandmother….something she said or did. Steve, Sharon….never forget Billy. Think of him and you’ll feel that he’s still right there with you.

ms Sharon M -you don’t know me from Adam. in fact while I read this site often I don’t post. but your message had major resonance and I had to send a reply. first off let me express my sorrow at your loss. I remember reading it. tragedy knocks us down hard and how we get up is our measure. your late husband sounds like a great guy that we would like as our friend and you appear to be a sweet neat lady I have a perspective on what has occurred as I have suffered tragic personal loss within the last two years. when you get up off the floor there are two roads. one is to sit in the corner and die or get bitter. you have obviously chose the other road which is to get up and move forward into the future. while its a slow walk at first it does get better. grief ultimately gives way to memory of the good and you find yourself channeling the good you had into the better. I’m often amazed at how much kinder I actually have become and I can be a curmudgeon! there are more fish to be caught birds and deer to chase friends to be made and fun to be had. your best therapists are your family and your friends and yes the folks I’ve read here which by and large seem like good folks. move forward with a smile on your face love and fun in your heart and a great good future awaits. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers

I still remember seeing your “worst day of my life” post. It was the day after you posted and had lost of comments already. I never would have guessed what I was about to read. Having recently just met you two, I would have loved to get to know Billy better, but I knew him enough already to know he was a good man! Since I’ve got to know you better since then, you might have the type of understanding on how to get through this, that the rest of us could only hope for, should we ever go through it. Through our social/digital friendships, I’m sure I could speak for everyone here when I say we’re here for you as much as we can be!
God bless you Sharon. You and Billy are always in my prayers 🙏.

There are awesome caring people on IDO….but sometimes you also have to share your thoughts/feelings with others who are going through the same grief process you are. Not saying that others here are not grieving but support groups are out there if you ever feel the need. We can all wish our relationships were as solid and loving as your was.

Dutchboy wrote:

No Sharon, thank you. You humble us all with your upbeat positive attitude on life after what you have been through.

As you move along in life the memories will become easier and more precious. Stay positive, keep going forward and never forget there are people here for you. Heck, we might even be talked into mowing your lawn.

My thoughts exactly.

Saw your post on FB and deleted my first response. Suggesting you go on a date may not have been the best idea right now. So often people say time heals. I call bull. It’s not the time, it’s what you do with the time.

Witnessed a very similar situation with an aunt and uncle. Built there dream retirement home, he retired at 51 years old, and dropped dead in the driveway only 6 days after they moved in. My aunt was indescribably numb. First couple months she was a zombie. Took her a lot of hard conversations to accept that it was ok to move forward and there was nothing wrong with celebrating their lives together – while she moved on. Like you, she had a bubbly personality that lit up a room. She is one of my favorite people on earth to talk to. Always feel good and inspired when around her.
It was about 6 or 7 months after Ed passed and she went on a date. Funny as heck when I talked to her the next day. The guy was an absolute jerk and she found so many things to laugh at and to make fun about. Ya, she had a few days of balling her eyes out because it made her miss Ed more. But she allowed herself to move forward and understand that because she moved on, it was still ok to have and reflect upon all the great memories she has. Hope you find the courage to do the same

One of the grief/loss/healing books I read recently had a great section on sex and dating. Two topics that are difficult to talk about, particularly with family. Seeing how I starting a relationship with Billy when I was 16, I’ve never dated as a adult and I imagine when that time comes for me I should probably write a book about it… I’m pretty sure it’s going to be disastrous, but in a humorous way – rather like my first time leaf blowing!

I’ve always believed the best relationships are built from a foundation of friendship. One of my goals in the next couple of years will be to expand my friendships. Even if a romantic companion isn’t in the cards for my future, at least I’ll hope to have developed some really great friendships along the way.