Temps are going to hover in the mid to lower 30’s starting by the weekend and stay that way for the most part of a week with lows in the upper 20’s. That’s the forecast for Kelliher. Don’t make much ice at those temps and if the wind kicks up again it’s one step forward and two steps back.
So far no major amounts of snow in the near forecast, at least not yet. That’s the good news.
I’m thinking of going to Red at the end of Nov or early Dec. I’ve never been up there during hard water. Any suggestions on where to stay? Any idea if things book up fast?
The year was 2030, it would be Carter’s first time on Red Lake, the infamous walleye factory of the north, known to many an angler to be a walleye paradise in early ice. Carter made all the right preparations, he was meticulous about safety and ensured that all of his gear was functioning correctly before making the trip to the 47th parallel. It had been many years since someone died on this lake, but he wasn’t about to break that streak himself, he had a family to provide for.
As he prepped his gear, he made sure to check into his favorite fishing forums to gather any last minute ancillary details to make the trip more successful. In the past, these small jaunts into the horrid hellscape that In-Depth Outdoors had become have proven fruitful, albeit littered with those yearning for days gone by. Days that the world now knows are unlikely to be seen again.
Since the mysterious fall of the Mille Lacs fishing and tourism industry earlier this century, outdoorsmen have had to go elsewhere for their walleye fix. Lake of the Woods was the popular choice before it to went the way of the Zebra. Amidst the crumbling of the mainstay walleye destinations, Red Lake remains a beacon of hope for fishermen. Year after year it consistently ‘puts out the meat’. Sanctions on livestock have made the staples of yesteryear more of an exception than the rule, the ‘impossible’ burgers of the 2010’s have become not only the possible but the norm, and it’s real meat that is in short supply. This precipitous shift to non-meat products has made fishing and hunting a necessity for many who want real meat diets. The term carnivore used to be used in jest, but now is oft-used to denote someone who seeks out real meat products, normally through the lakes and streams or wild game.
That shift has not come without a price, the DNR, now the most powerful organization in MN, guards it’s most precious resource closely. Not iron, gold or forests, but the most plentiful source of meat in the state and maybe even the country, fish. The licensing system was completely revolutionized in the early 2020s, and since that change the MN DNR has become one of the most profitable organizations in the country. Possession limits are a thing of the past, one must now pay for every fish kept from the water, and that cost is not fixed nor affordable! The price increases with every addition, with some species coming at a premium. Since this is ‘the only game in town’ to some extent, the DNR has a monopoly and they haven’t been afraid to show it. A close partnership with President Bezos has made this all possible, as he recognized early that wild fish and game may be one market Amazon can’t own.
This change has priced many out of the market, yet another feather in the hat of late-stage capitalism. What used to be a way of life passed down by generations of hunters, gatherers, farmers, tradespeople and others is now almost completely dominated by the rich. Recent advancements in satellite sonar technology have made finding fish rather trivial, but gone are the days of one conservation officer patrolling an entire county. Sophisticated satellites combined with cutting edge Artificial Intelligence systems have made it possible for the DNR to monitor every lake in the state simultaneously. They’ve also lobbied for push access to cell-phones, allowing them to alert any would-be poacher that they are being watched. Poaching now carries jail time and extreme fines. Some praise them for more or less removing poaching from the state, but others find this invasive and yet another reminder of the dystopia they’ve found themselves in.
Carter however has saved for years for this opportunity. He’s read the studies and knows that there isn’t a substitute for real, fresh, walleye meat. He is descended from a proud family of walleye fishermen, and if there’s one thing history has told us about walleye fishermen it’s that the meat comes first. His anticipation was palpable when the yearly lottery results were announced for Red Lake permits, and he nearly cried when his name was called. It is or course, a few years late for his father to join him, he died in the great Walleye war earlier this century in Garrison. This was Carter’s chance to give his family another glimpse of the past, and Carter was not one to forget his past.
And so the day came, he found himself in a herd of people being escorted through the lone DNR controlled access on Upper Red Lake in early December. He scanned his license, handed over his credit card to rent his DNR approved ice fishing kit, and walked through the gates amid a few dozen other anglers.
As he walked he shook his head, a few short years ago he would have been able to bring his own gear, a flasher his father left him, a few custom made rods from the now defunct, TUCR. Maybe most of all he missed his tackle box, all lures were now managed through the DNR and rented at approved DNR tackle facilities. This equipment of course being manufactured and sold to the DNR by President Bezos’s Amazon.
He grabbed a few of the DNR branded buckshot spoons for $20 a piece, plus put down a ‘damage’ deposit of $10 per lure should he steal or lose one. Such is the price he thought, but he would be lying to himself if he didn’t curse the DNR for what they’d become. Fishing used to be about family, tradition, fun. It was now just yet another business destroyed by profiteering.
Carter referred to his map to find his assigned hole, number 1247, where he would be fishing for the day. Again he held back his anger, is it really necessary to force everyone to fish in a specific, static location? After a long walk he found his hole and got setup. There would be no live bait fishing for Carter, as the cost to use bait was now astronomical, but he wasn’t worried. If the rumors were true, the fish in Red Lake had been genetically modified to prefer artificial baits. This meant the DNR could maximize their profits off of their lure rentals, without having to worry about invasive bait species making their way into the lake. Carter tied on his Dad’s favorite color spoon and got to work. He pulled out his cell phone to check the satellite map and was a bit disappointed to see no fish in the general vicinity of his hole, but he was patient. While the technology would allow someone to scan the entire lake, that came at an exorbitant cost. Connor’s satellite package allowed him to scan a 75x75ft square around his current location.
After a few hours passed, Connor started to grow restless. Where were all the fish? Like most ice fishermen, he used his ‘Iowa fishfinders’ to check in on others around him. Through his hand me down binoculars he saw not a single other fish being caught. Something seemed off. Out of habit he checked the satellite feed again and this time nearly fell off of his chair. There was something under the ice moving his way, and it was large. He thought maybe a northern, but the return seemed too large for that. Just as the mysterious object swam past his hole, his rod nearly leapt out of his hand. At the last second he grabbed it and managed to set the hook into whatever it was on the other end of his line. For a few seconds it was immovable, far too heavy or large to be a fish. Just then however, the massive weight was gone, and what was left was something much smaller, something that wasn’t moving. He slowly reeled up his line to see what it was and was astonished to find a small glass bottle hooked onto his lure.
He grabbed the bottle in his hand and not surprisingly, received a notification on his phone.
“Our system shows that you caught something at 11:14AM, on December the 5th, 2030, would you like to report your catch?”
Carter knew he only had one option. He scrolled the options and selected, ‘non-living catch’. Marking his catch as a fish would require him to take a photo of the catch, immediately triggering a charge to his credit card, but more importantly, this would trigger an error as he had no fish to photograph.
“Thank you for reporting your catch, a DNR officer will be at your location in < 7 > minutes to inspect your < non-living catch>.”
He didn’t have much time, he quickly turned his attention to the bottle as there was something inside, a message. He uncorked the bottle and pulled out a small piece of parchment, on it was a handwritten cursive message. Handwritten messages were rare these days, and cursive even more so. They hadn’t taught cursive in the public school systems since the early 2000s, Carter was fortunate that his Dad took the time to teach him himself. “What if you need to write a check someday?” he’d always said. Carter didn’t know what that meant, and secretly had wondered why knowing multiple ways to write the same language was necessary, but he went with it. In neat handwriting, the message read,
“The answer lies deeper…
Look inside…
”
….to be continued….
One of the best posts I’ve seen on this site! You forgot to mention the DNR pricing scale of the fish:
Walleye- $25 any fish under 15 inches, $45 over 15 inches.
Conservationist program:
Panfish
Muskie
Northern
Bass
$2.50 paid back for each fish returned to DNR in order to save the dwindling walleye numbers
That was good Philtickleson
Westwind just shut er down.
His heart racing a little bit, he pulled the spool off of his spinning reel and stuffed the note inside, DNR officers were known for being quite aggressive when investigating catches. Living up to those expectations, a large DNR officer quickly arrived and searched through Carter’s pockets, and bags for anything out of the ordinary, after 5 minutes or so he gave up and let him get back to fishing.
Carter had other ideas however. He waited a few minutes and then started walking out towards deeper water. As he walked there were fewer and fewer fishermen, everyone was fishing in ~10 feet of water. Carter knew that if he walked further there were greater depths, although he didn’t know what to do once he got there. He made sure to check his satellite feed occasionally, and continued to see nothing, no fish anywhere…
Every five minutes or so he’d get a notification that he wasn’t fishing at his assigned location, but he had read up a bit about this tracking system in the past and knew that as long as he kept moving, the system wouldn’t identify him as illegally fishing at an unassigned location. As soon as he stopped for more than a few minutes he would be flagged and immediately tracked down. Their systems were smart, but they hadn’t yet stooped to the level of restricting anglers from going for a walk. Of course, had he left his fishing gear near his hole he would have been safer, but he felt that something was out there, and he had a hunch it was below the ice.
He walked for maybe a mile, not knowing when to stop or what to look for, but that’s when he saw it. A small pile of ice chips lay before him, something that hadn’t been seen since the advent of laser cutting ice augers, this was a hole drilled with a traditional auger. The type of auger that had been outlawed since the DNR started controlling access to every lake in the state. Holes were now drilled remotely by drone operators. He was even more surprised to find the hole still open, not frozen over with ice. He still had his father’s relic ‘Strikemaster 40 volt’ electric auger, but it was many years since those batteries would take a charge, still, he had a habit of checking the off switch on it whenever it caught his eye in the storage shed. Old habits die hard, and his father had warned him of some of the pitfalls of the glory days.
His satellite app still didn’t show any fish, but he felt the right thing to do was drop his line down the hole.
“What are you doing Carter”, he thought to himself as he thought through the absurdity of his actions. Nobody fishes this deep on Red Lake, and there aren’t any fish here, is this worth getting caught by the DNR? Still, something kept him glued to the hole, after all, who made this hole? Why was it here? And why was I destined to find it?
Just when he thought about reeling up and moving on before the authorities were alerted, his rod was almost ripped out of his hand. He set the hook and found himself in a very physical battle with a large fish. Surprised on multiple levels, he dropped to his knees and started to play the fish. He loosened his drag to allow the fish to tire itself out without placing too much stress on his line. About halfway through the fight his phone buzzed, and he didn’t need to look at it to understand why, he had been flagged for fishing outside of his assigned hole, and he knew he had precious few minutes to get this fish topside. What he would do then he did not know. He knew what to do in this situation though, he felt like a fishermen again.
“Stayyyying down,” he whispered to himself.
“Feels big, but also might not be that big, I don’t know, it’s the first time I’ve caught a fish on this rod” he muttered next.
“Oh, just let me see what it is.” he added at the end, to no one in particular.
After 3 minutes the fish finally cooperated and made it’s way through the hole, but something was off. This fish was not the pale green color of a walleye nor was it long and slender. This fish was shaped more like a football, and dang near as thick, like the type of football former Vikings great Kirk Cousins used to throw when they won their streak of 5 straight super bowls a short 5 years ago. This was a smallmouth bass and smallmouth bass were not prevalent in this lake. He checked his phone one more time and saw he had less than 2 minutes to investigate. He took out his knife and quickly cut into the fishes stomach, which seemed unusually engorged, but he was not prepared for what he saw.
Inside were many smaller fish, very recognizable fish, these were small walleyes. He then noticed a small tag on the tail of the fish, which he very quickly discerned to be a device meant to scramble the satellite signal so as to roam unnoticed to anglers. But why? What did all this mean? Many years ago, after his father’s death, there were rumblings of a great conspiracy between the DNR, MNFish and the Mille Lacs band of Ojibwe. The rumors surrounding that, in combination with the disappearance of Kevin Gross, were enough to make anyone’s skin crawl. But was this evidence to support that theory? Was this somehow connected?
“Why don’t you put your hands up and put the fish down Carter.” He had lost himself in thought and was not prepared for the officer’s arrival. The DNR now had a fleet of fully electric snowmobiles which they painted matte white, matching their flat white jackets and pants. He never heard or saw this man coming, and that he knew, was by design.
As he turned to face the officer he got a glimpse of his face before everything went black. This wasn’t a random officer deployed to this location, this was the head of the DNR himself, the one who rose to power and fortune beyond anyone’s wildest dreams, the one that walleye fishermen once looked to for leadership. As Carter slowly collapsed under the sedatives now coursing through his body, he had one last glimpse of a smiling Babe Winklemen…
Gee, thanks Phil 
Reports of Kelliher Fire & Rescue department rescuing at least 11 people off a sheet of ice that had separated from shore. Many others rescued off floating ice sheets by resort owners.
1: What happens to all your stuff when you get rescued, does it just get left on the ice? 2: how deep Of water is the crack at? Is the shore side deep enough to fish? That crack is there every year isn’t it?
How hard would it be to pack an inflatable boat? Guy could even get away with rowwing back over on one of those big swans.
It’s only a story if you’re not prepared.
How hard would it be to pack an inflatable boat? Guy could even get away with rowwing back over on one of those big swans.
It’s only a story if you’re not prepared.
That’s a funny mental picture, but a floating pool swan would get you back over most seperations. Interesting idea haha!
I don’t know what happens when you get rescued like that, or who gets picked to walk to the edge of the ice sheet first, but the report went further to say that the Beltrami Sheriff department was not happy with the resort rescues because they didn’t follow safety protocols.
Can some YouTuber pls get yourself a small watercraft and troll these cracks. That would be a fun time
I had never read an Orwellian fishing story. Well done.
1: What happens to all your stuff when you get rescued, does it just get left on the ice? 2: how deep Of water is the crack at? Is the shore side deep enough to fish? That crack is there every year isn’t it?
I know when people get rescued off the bay in Canal Park in Duluth all your gear stays on the ice. Only people are being rescued. Rods, tackle, augers, flashers/sonar everything else is left to drift. It’s up to you to figure out how to get it later.
Once the official Sheriff rescue boats show up they are there for only one thing. Human beings. Your $2000 dollar Panoptix rig is on it’s own.
When it’s resort people helping you off it’s probably a different deal.
Holy Shyte! Red Lackie Chronicles…Blood drinking day walkers! LOL.
Just got back today from URL. Fishing was pretty good, no small fish. 10” of ice right next to the crack. 7-8 fow. Get away from crowds.
Another good one Phil. Thoroughly enjoyed 
“died in the great walleye war….in Garrison…” Funny as he!!
Just got back today from URL. Fishing was pretty good, no small fish. 10” of ice right next to the crack. 7-8 fow. Get away from crowds.
Where did you access the lake at?
<div class=”d4p-bbt-quote-title”>Matt Waste wrote:</div>
Just got back today from URL. Fishing was pretty good, no small fish. 10” of ice right next to the crack. 7-8 fow. Get away from crowds.Where did you access the lake at?
Beacons. Only 3/4 mile out in 8’
Correct me if I’m wrong but if you need to get rescued, don’t they charge you for a steep rescue bill? Like if you were on a sheet that floated away.
I don’t believe in this case people were really being rescued, seems more like saving them from a couple of mile walk around, not sure what different emergency services policies are. I doubt the resorts are charging.
He didn’t have much time, he quickly turned his attention to the bottle as there was something inside, a message. He uncorked the bottle and pulled out a small piece of parchment, on it was a handwritten cursive message. Handwritten messages were rare these days, and cursive even more so.,,,,,, In neat handwriting, the message read,
Epstein did not kill himself.
<div class=”d4p-bbt-quote-title”>philtickelson wrote:</div>
He didn’t have much time, he quickly turned his attention to the bottle as there was something inside, a message. He uncorked the bottle and pulled out a small piece of parchment, on it was a handwritten cursive message. Handwritten messages were rare these days, and cursive even more so.,,,,,, In neat handwriting, the message read,Epstein did not kill himself.
You sure Dave? How come no one has found Larry Nassar or Jerry Sandusky hanged?
Sounds like West Wind opened back up to foot traffic today. Beacon is open to foot traffic as well as atv and utv traffic. Sounds like the rest, Rogers, Jr’s Mort’s etc. are all holding off which is probably the wise thing to do.
From West Winds FB page.
Starting Monday the 18th we will open the access back up for foot traffic only. After careful assessment of the ice conditions we believe walking is the best option. The crack that opened up last week has pushed back together and after watching it all weekend, even with a strong South East wind, it didn’t move on our end of the lake.
The main ice sheet out to 10-11 ft of water has 7 to 9 inches of ice. The 10 day forecast is not calling for a lot of cold temps but we shouldn’t lose any ice either. We expect it to remain about where it is for the next several days. We will be posting updates as needed so keep watching.
Beyond what the news wants you to believe, the sheriff’s department has not shut down the lake. Nor did they contact the resort asking us to remain closed. That decision was made by us for the safety of our customers. Did we lose out on revenue this past weekend? Absolutely we did. But that was our decision to make. We are here to run a business, provide a great fishing experience and try to maintain a high level of safety for everyone out on the ice. If you don’t feel comfortable, please feel free to wait. No one will blame you for it.
You sure Dave? How come no one has found Larry Nassar or Jerry Sandusky hanged?
[/quote]
Biiiigggg difference in power/wealth between Nassar/Sandusky and those involved in Epstein’s ring.
Nassar/Sandusky were people with a moderate level of power in specific situations using that to take advantage of others. The folks rumored to be involved in the Epstein stuff goes wayyyy beyond that, and their level of wealth is not in the same universe as Nassar/Sandusky.
You sure Dave? How come no one has found Larry Nassar or Jerry Sandusky hanged?
Sure about what? That’s just what the note said. I have no idea if true or not.
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