Big time sets the hook and I’ll be

There he was again standing with his rod in his hand and nothing to show for it. “I’ll be” says big time ” I was sure I had that one in the frying pan. ” The next thing I know he is standing in the back of the boat snapping his brand new Berkley reflex cat rods (which I sold him for 250 dollars each) over his knee and cursing all the poor fish in the sea. I said c’mon Big Time in a couple of years you will finally learn how to set the hook and might actually land a fish. Being very disgusted at this point he reaches down and starts the 225 horse Vmax on our 16′ jon boat and says “I’ll show you how to fish”. I respond “Yeah right” as I am buckling the five point harness for what is sure to be a very exciting boat ride. The dealer told us the boat would do about 120 mph but with Big Time in there we can hardly get the thing on plane. Well off we go past fourth cut. catherine pass, bay city flats and now we are headed for the wide open lake. We finally break the 80 mph mark about point no point and I ask him where we are going. He responds “to [censored]”. Obviously he means that we are going down to fish the finger lakes. I sure hope he slows down for the dam this time as l;ast time it made quite a mess of the prop. Well as usual he hit the dam at 95 mph and we were airborn. When we landed……………………………?

Come on guys have a little fun with this and lets hear your creative side. Help me out with this story. Big time wont mind. Chris

Edited by Catdadmn on 08/22/01 02:35 AM.

Big Time was ejected from the boat due to the fact that his safety harness was not fastened correctly. As his body was flying through the air, he realized his foot had accidentally snagged a hook from one of Catdad’s rods. Big Time hit the water and the boat zoomed past him. Now Big Time was being dragged behing the boat at 90 mph, looking like an amateur water skier who had just taken a nasty fall, with water spraying in his face. Catdad couldn’t help himself from laughing at this site, but managed to stop the motor. Poor Big Time was now sinking fast. Catdad began reeling in his 500 pound test to retrieve him. Big Time slowly headed back to the surface. All of a sudden, a giant 100 pound flathead grabbed Big Time’s non-hooked leg thinking it looked like a good thing to eat. Big Time had to think quickly, and took the hook from Catdad’s line and embedded it into the cat’s maw. A tug of war ensued when the cat tried to free itself, as both Big Time and the cat were brought to the surface. Big Time could not contain his excitement as he pulled the fish into the boat. “How’s that for a *%#!?$ hook set?” Big Time exclaimed, “maybe one day you will catch a fish like this, when you’re Big Time, anything is possible.” Catdad couldn’t believe his eyes, “that’s one heck of a fish Big Time, a real monster, but it was caught on my line, therefore it’s my fish” announced Catdad. Big Time grew angry “wait a minute, If it wasn’t for me, this fish would still be in the river.” The two continued to argue like this for some time and they didn’t even notice the game warden who had pulled up alongside their boat. “What’s going on here?” he questioned…………

Well, the story got told and retold because neither could stick to what REALLY happened.

The warden was getting flustered from the nonstop bickering so he just let the two continue as he pondered the evidence in front of him.

After much careful thought, he decided on this. BigTime wasn’t noodling but his method was not listed in the MN regulations as being legal and he DID harvest a fish. Nowhere, do the regulations state that you can dive into water, hook it by hand, and carry it out with you. So a fine was issued to BigTime for his angling method.

Catdad had a big “poop”eatin’ grin on his face regarding the direction this had taken. He loved it! But the warden wasn’t done yet.

Catdad was also in violation of angling method because nowhere in the state regulations does it state that you can legally use humans for catfish bait! Nor can you hook onto a human, have them dive into the water, and hand hook a fish. So Catdad got a double for illegal bait and illegal angling method.

As the warden left, nothing could be heard but the sound of the motor leaving them. Fines in hand, names on record, record fish taken for evidence…………………silence overcame the sorrowful expressions left in the wake of misfortune…………………………………..but THIS day wasn’t over……………………………

BigTime then stood up, he cast an awe inspiring shadow over the young girls sitting on the bank gawking. He then turned to catdad, tore up the fines and said ” do you wanna go catch some cats or what?”. Seeing the confidence in BigTime eyes Catdad became excited that he may finaly be able to hook his first flahead of the year. He became so excited in fact that he began to giggle like a little school girl. This was not uncommon for Catdad to giggle in this manner as he does quite often after catching a good size eye. BigTime then fired up the motor, he gave one last glance to the girls on the shoreline as they boated away. The ladies pleaded to BigTime to saty, but he had to go, for you see Catdad was now so excited to have the chance to finally see a big flathead that he was rolling on the floor of the boat because he was giggling so hard. BigTime knew that he had to put a big flathead in the boat or Catdad’s giggles would soon turn into tears. They came up river towards the dam and BigTime selected a prime spot out of his hundreds where they set up on to catch a big flat……………………………………..

Edited by BigTime on 08/22/01 08:19 PM.

“Walleyes? What’s up with this?” shouts Catdad. “You’re all talkin’ big about best bait, biggest cat, better skilled………………ARGGGHH!!! I just don’t understand!”

“It’s as plain as the zit on your schnozz”, says BigTime. “Time to cool it just a bit……………….that catfishin’s too dangerous! Have a drink, chill out, and look at the facts.

1) You woke up a mor on.

2) We hit a dam!

3) I sank after being launched.

4) You’re idea of a rescue is to reel up a hook impaled in my foot!

5) A GIANT CAT tried to EAT ME!

6) DNR gives us both citations

and 7) You’re still a mor on!!!

I think it’s time to take a break!”

Catdad, not to be disturbed by a little slung mud, muttered a quiet, “Wuss” under his breath and continued to prepare for a successful quest.

BigTime was nearly finished with his berry (fairy) beverage when his eyes slowly shut and his mind drifted back to a bevy of babes left behind on a bank, that once beckoned for his presence to remain near…………………..or perhaps, it was a mirage revisited…………………but either way, he was elsewhere. No longer a part of this world, he forgot about the day’s events, forgot about the struggles and the troubles, forgot about the fish, and worst of all, he forgot about his nemesis……………err,………………….fishing buddy, Catdad!

(Loud Music here) Dun, dun, DUUUUUUUUUHHHHHNNN!!

“MooooHaahhaahaaahaahaa……………………..the opportunities that dance before my eyes are priceless! PRICELESS!”

When temptation had grown to heights that amazed even Catdad himself, he realized he lacked the strength to resist such an offering of the Catfish gods and slowly, ever so quietly, he reached…………………………

Edited by Stillakid2 on 08/23/01 12:21 AM.

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Subsequent post was removed and user account has been permenently deleted from the user list.

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Edited by FTR Webstaff on 08/23/01 01:25 PM.

CatDad had finally pulled the huge spiked billy club from under the seat, the one he used to “subdue” the really big fish……. and seeing his prey slowly drifting away….. he took a mighty swing at LIL connecting with a blow that would have knocked him out of any ball park in the country…… rage was clouding CatDads vision so he couldnt see LIL sailing towards Red Wing like he was some kind of Eagle (seagull?)…… but he could STILL see BigTime drifting slowly down river in front of him…… so roaring his anger (try this while giggling Im sure you will find it interesting!!).. he……..

meanwhile the warden… who was still not far away… also saw the flying object that he took for an Eagle heading right at him….. *wham*…… LIL hit the poor guy with stupefying speed and………

was indeed stupified!

The warden was knocked cold but LiL recognized the person as the ugly old varmit hunter from FTR…………….Rivereyes! Friend? Foe? The ever watchful, spy caliber hot dog, Riveryes was sure to jump all over this should he awake.

Lil looked like any youngster overcome by confusion. He looked up, down, side to side with whiplash inducing speed and finally collapsed on the floor next to the victim of his “eagle landing”.

BigTime, having no clue to any rhyme or reason to the events surrounding him saw only one option for refuge……………..his fishing buddy Catdad!

Struggling against current, he fought to get back to the boat, the home of his beloved walleye chasing and incomprehendable mirages. Catdad could only squelch the anger that had once fueled within him, for he knew BigTime was only long winded on issues regarding himself, and he would find his own way back him.

But in the distance…………..a sound. A sound of a motorized…………..not boat, not jetski, but quickly approaching! It’s on the island!!

Catdad, in all of this action hadn’t noticed something had moved the boat closer to shore and he about to get a visit from…………………..

StillaPUP!!!!!

While BIG TIME was frantically paddling back towards his boat while wondering just what the H*ll was going on today!….. CATDAD could only stare in wonder at the apparition that appeared crashing through the trees and brush of the island…… what the heck? was it a moose? (it was big enough!)… was it a skunk? (naaaaa they dont smell that bad!)….. was it a stampeding herd of elephants? (nope.. they are much quieter!!)…… OMG!! its the PUP on one of those 6wd floating ATV’s…. hes got up a full head of steam and hes heading right towards us at ramming speed!!… with a demented look in his eyes (ok, ok.. I know.. thats NORMAL for him!)….. and fishing gear sticking out everywhere the EYE could see!….. and what was that on his neck? hmmmm looks like a shock collar……. anyway.. the PUP launches the “craft” from the top of the bank at full speed covering almost the entire distance to the bewildered pair while airborne…… OMG look out!!…… hes going to……..

meanwhile….. RiverEyes slowly recovering conciousness…. opens his eyes to see LIL laying passed out on the floor….

“what happened?” moans RiverEyes….. “wheres the eagle?”…… bout that time LIL opens his eyes and says “the eagle has landed”…. with a grin he…….

asks if those are 2 pillows? Fade to black……………….

Meanwhile, PUP has over done it AGAIN! Launching his craft from the island bank, he managed to crash it right into the 225hp 20′ jon boat. SPAH………..LOOSH!!!

BigTime was cursing. Catdad was cursing. PUP………….didn’t skip a beat! As if this were planned he started grabbing gear and throwing it all overboard, including his own. With so many rods twirling and sailing you would have thought the 3 ninja’s were performing live at the ATV!

The boat was going down, BigTime was starting to get concerned, Catdad plotted how to kill the all American pet! PUP just looked disgusted and continued his mission.

All fishing gear was now floating downstream, PUP pulls the anchor up and flips a bird to Catdad. The rage had grown too large……………..this day was messed up one too many times! His wrath no longer pleading to be delivered, the first step was taken toward the PUP and the chase was on! Or in rather………………..into the water they went, leaving BigTime alone to wonder further about things that made no sense to him, and watch the boat disappear below the surface.

The activity in the water was tremendous! Almost in a constant boil! And then it was still. It appeared for a moment that even the current had stopped.

“Catdad? CATDAD?! pup? ARRRGHH………..#%&@&^$@!^!” BigTime felt alone…….deserted…………..helpless………….. still a bit buzzed………….and COMPLETELY confused!

spaAH-LOOSH!! Out of the water pops the PUP still scowling with a look of disgust and making many lude gestures back toward the water as he backed toward the shore. Focused as I……………err,………..he was, BigTime couldn’t help but look to the place in which the PUP’s eyes were fixed. The water was beginning to churn and bubble just a few feet in front of the PUP!

It acted furious and was relentless and getting nearer to the PUP, covered in vegetation, rope, and smelling like a sea salad. It was flailing it’s arms………………..ARMS??

It was Catdad still trying to put a “sleeper hold” on the PUP! But he was dragging something. In fact, he was tied to it. Too big to be a catfish. Wasn’t the boat. Couldn’t be JAWS!

BigTime continued to watch in silent amazement as Catdad drug the most enormous fish he’d ever witnessed in existance out of the water by a rope tangled around himself and the creature, anchor still attached.

Pup was exhausted, Catdad finally ran out of steam, and BigTime was still rubbing his eyes, wondering if unlike the mirages of wanting women on shorebanks, this was actually real!!!

A white sturgeon lay on the bank with the PUP’s shock collar around it’s tail.

Warden Rivereyes knew when he heard the first distant SPAH-LOOSH that the PUP was up to something again and started pushing the button like a man obsessed! PUP wasn’t affected because of the rubber collar around his neck!

Having wrapped the rope around the fish and Catdad, PUP strapped the shocker to the tail and Rivereyes shocked it into submission, and taunted Catdad relentlessly until the fish was beached!

After viewing the situation, Catdad reluctantly gave the PUP a quick scratch behind the ear…………………for he was in possession of a fish larger than their boat, and it was MN’s only white sturgeon on record.

A RECORD!!!! In his heart he felt to dance but knew it could produce ridicule………………not to mention it wasn’t his greatest talent………….but he kept his composure realizing this wasn’t time to celebrate.

BigTime made it to the shore and shook the ‘dad’s hand. “That’s the GREATEST WALLEYE you’ve ever landed!! Ummm……………..whatcha gonna do now genius? The PUP dumped all our stuff, canned our ride, and beached us with nothing but the biggest WALLEYE I’ve ever seen!

Stranded and suddenly alone again (PUP got out while the gettin’ was good!), Catdad knew Warden Eyes would be along shortly to make a bigger mess of this already too eventful day. In fact, the increasing volume of a 20hp Johnson was birthing a sense of urgency within him……………………..if only he had a………………………………………………….

SKI ROPE!

Tired of getting buzzed while fishing, Big Time waded into the current and reached out with his enormous arms to knock a jet-skiier clean from his rice-burner and into the next county. Acting quickly, he grabbed his knife and cut the ski rope from the back of the now-submerged craft.

“Quick,” he shouted to Catdad, “Tie this onto the PUP’s collar!” Knowing warden Rivereyes was coming around the bend, Catdad quickly looped the rope into the collar on the sturgeon’s tail, using the little-known double-hoola-bouncin’-pooper-scooper knot.

Big Time had, by this time, roped his way down the business end of the ski-rope and was holding onto the handle for dear life as he head-kicked the sturgeon back into the river. “Jump on, Catdad” was all Rivereyes could hear over the buzzing of his outboard, and as he neared the bend, he saw Catdad riding away on Big Time’s shoulders, uable to detect just what sort of submarine was towing them.

“Must be the Pup is under there, boy can that dog swim!” Rivereyes said to himself as he grabbed the controls for the collar. As he came within range, he zapped the sturgeon, giving Big Time and Catdad a burst of speed with every shock.

Cursing because he was unable to catch them, Rivereyes got that “Deer in the headlights” look when……………..