Son in jail…

I spend too much time reading good posts, in search of fishing techniques. There are so many people here with so many good ideas. I am wondering if I might ask for some personal help, what would happen.

My son Keith 19 yrs is sitting in jail. Only county jail, but nonetheless jail.He has 90 days for breaking the law. I am not sure where I (we) went wrong but, most of that does not matter right now. I am focusing on the future. I want so badly to be his friend. I want to take him fishing with me and his brother. (who, I am afraid is following in his brothers footsteps). Would it be out of the range to ask some of you to send him a postcard letting him know there is a better life on the outside? I love my son,and I love to fish. I need to put them together with me.

If anyone feels the urge to help this boy, you can send a word of encouragement to:

Keith Price

201 1st street NE

Mower County Jail

Austin, MN. 55912

Brian,

I will be happy to drop him a line, if you would like to talk give me a call. I will send you a PM with my numbers.

I admire your courage for posting this and Im kind of stumbling for words here but I think as a father…you deserve a big ole FTR group hug. I feel for you and I hope that some day your son realizes that a dad can hurt like hell inside and just want the best for his son.

I sure as heck dont know the answers but I do know this, support and having people to lean on is very important when the chips are down.

I admire you for having the courage to lean on the rest of us and I hope maybe that somebody can make a difference and help you in someway have a better relationship with your son. And perhaps you and your son together can experience the kind of inner joy and warmth that only a day on the river can bring.

Thank you for posting,

Steve

Rocketman,

This is a tough one… I know… I will send him some of my fishing lures! Getting a nice brab-bag of cool tackle would thrill anybody. But, I’ll need to send them thru you… P/M me your address, please. Then tell him they are waiting for him and… so are the fish. Hope you three have a fun day together.

Maybe he’ll be out for the EFN Get-Together.

I know you want to be his friend… but right now, just be his dad. Best of luck to you both.

Me, I am 12 years drug and alcohol free, so much of my “troubles” involved that also. God and AA saved me. I’ll pray for him… if it is likewise in his case also, I’ll ask that he finds his way to a AA meeting!

God bless…

Hawger

Hay rocketman chill out some of us take longer than others.I never was in jail but I should have been. I,m like Hawger 7yrs sobber thanks to AA. Now I don,t know if the youngster has a problem with drugs and that includes booze,he will have to hit bottom to stop I hope this does it,but you take care of yourself and go to alinone and talk with parents like yourself. It took me 25yrs. to get my [censored] together and seek help. why so long ? I was a COP and we covered for each other ! there,s hope I ended up retiring, and turned to working with kid,s with drugs. God has a plan! what dos,nt kill you makes you stronger.

>

> Paul Harvey Writes:

>

> We tried so hard to make things better for our kids that we made them

> worse. For my grandchildren, I’d like better.

>

> I’d really like for them to know about hand me down clothes and

> homemade ice cream and leftover meat loaf sandwiches. I really would.

>

> I hope you learn humility by being humiliated, and that you learn

> honesty by being cheated.

>

> I hope you learn to make your own bed and mow the lawn and wash the

> car.

>

> And I really hope nobody gives you a brand new car when you are

> sixteen.

>

> It will be good if at least one time you can see puppies born and your

> old dog put to sleep.

>

> I hope you get a black eye fighting for something you believe in.

>

> I hope you have to share a bedroom with your younger brother/sister.

> And it’s all right if you have to draw a line down the middle of the

> room, but when he wants to crawl under the covers with you because

> he’s scared, I hope you let him.

>

> When you want to see a movie and your little brother/sister wants to

> tag along, I hope you’ll let him/her.

>

> I hope you have to walk uphill to school with your friends and that

> you live in a town where you can do it safely.

>

> On rainy days when you have to catch a ride, I hope you don’t ask your

> driver to drop you two blocks away so you won’t be seen riding with

> someone as uncool as your Mom.

>

> If you want a slingshot, I hope your Dad teaches you how to make one

> instead of buying one.

>

> I hope you learn to dig in the dirt and read books.

>

> When you learn to use computers, I hope you also learn to add and

> subtract in your head.

>

> I hope you get teased by your friends when you have your first crush

> on a boy\girl, and when you talk back to your mother that you learn

> what ivory soap tastes like.

>

> May you skin your knee climbing a mountain, burn your hand on a stove

> and stick your tongue on a frozen flagpole.

>

> I don’t care if you try a beer once, but I hope you don’t like it. And

> if a friend offers you dope or a joint, I hope you realize he is not

> your friend.

>

> I sure hope you make time to sit on a porch with your Grandma/Grandpa

> and go fishing with your Uncle.

>

> May you feel sorrow at a funeral and joy during the holidays.

>

> I hope your mother punishes you when you throw a baseball through your

> neighbor’s window and that she hugs you and kisses you at

> Hanukah/Christmas time when you give her a plaster mold of your hand.

>

> These things I wish for you — tough times and disappointment, hard

> work and happiness. To me, it’s the only way to appreciate life.

>

> Written with a pen. Sealed with a kiss. I’m here for you. And if I die

> before you do, I’ll go to heaven and wait for you.

I want so badly to be his friend.. Might re-think that.

As a father myself I feel that you need to be his father and provide him with good judgement and accountability. From there hope he can grow into the man you are. I know its tuff but we all find our way.

jc

Brain,

I only met you for a few minutes at the Lake Pepin Open tournament. I have two children who went through some difficult years and know how hard a parents job can be.

Tell Keith you love him and that he will always be welcome in your home. Tell him that you will be there when “HE” makes the decision to change his lifestyle. Keep the door open! The giving of unquestionable love is what being a parent is about. We can only show our children the way, but they must make the journey.

I know this must be an extremely stressful time for your family but it can build for stronger bonds down the road.

Dave Gulczinski

Brian,

I have been a DAD for thirty years ! I have learned to give them a home where they are welcome, Give them unconditional love, And give them there own space, and most of all, ” listen” to what they have to say. It took me twenty five years to figure this out and I am still learning ! Now to be a father you have to set an example, you will never be perfect and don”t expect him to be , we all have made our mistakes, let”s hope we all profit by them !!!

Good Luck

God speed !!

Richard

Keep a tight line !!!

I sent you a PM. Fishinfool

Hello Rocketman, By any chance is there an e-mail address that people can send your son an e-mail that can be printed out and given to him? Thanks, Bill

Thanks Bill. That is a great idea. send email messages to [email protected] and I will print them out and deliver them to him.

Also. thank you to all that had given words of comfort in these trying times I am going thru. Many here have had similar situations and by being able to understand that I am not an island in this world helps a bunch. I visited my son in jail tonight and I told him about FTR. I do believe that time in jail will make him a better person. He seems to be in good spirits and mentioned he is getting to lift weights and is feeling better physically that he has in a long time.

Again, thank you to all. It means very much to me.

Brian

hi Brian, I just got thru reading all the posts that came in today, there are many good ones. I liked the ones from Basstracker, DaveG, and Richard. I am using these answers to you as answers to me also. You are not alone, my son last year was sentenced to an 8 year sentence in Indiana. Our sons are adults and am sure they realize that you need to do some time, even if only for a slight miss judgement, or a wrong decision at the wrong time. I also wanted to add that decisions they have made are their decisions, not yours or anyone elses and occasionally a wrong choice or choices has consequences. and those choices are their respondsibility. My son has keep a pretty good attitude during the last year, even tho at times it is pretty difficult. he keeps saying all this will NOT get him down and he is trying to make it a positive experience. while doing their time they hopefully will each learn that life, living, and having a loving family and good friends are what is the most important of all and that they will find God also if they haven’t already. If Keith is a reader there are a few different groups that will send him free books and not necessarily religious ones, there are many resources that are available and hopefully he is using some of them. Be loving and supportive and positive, and everything will work out. Keith will meet people on the inside that I hope will scare him enough that he will know that it is not a life that you want to stay in for very long, and he will talk to your other son and can be a postive roll model for him also.

When Keith gets out he WILL be the same age, but a little older and smarter.

This Fall thru next Spring if you don’t have access to a boat, send me a PM, I’d be happy to take the three of you out on Pool 4 for some unbelieveable jigging Walleye and Sauger action. God Bless, Jack.

Hi Brian,
I work in a correctional facility for a living and I wish we had more parents who were as concerned as you. My guess is he will be fine if he has someone like you who will be there for him. Ultimately he is going to do what he wants to do and you or anyone else will not change him. He will make the change himself, but I honestly believe that decision is easier for him to make when he knows he has family that cares about him. I also know how much the kids I work with enjoy getting mail, so everyone who reads this should send some words of encouragement. I guarantee it will get read. Good luck brian and remember to not give up this may not be the bottom. but it will get better.
labsrule

hi, just saw your post and thought I’d let you know that being a dad is the best thing you can do right now. my oldest son went down the wrong road too. his mother and I were sure we would lose him to the streets, some very dark hours indeed. you will need strenght and help, get it. for me the best things I ever learned about being a parent was from one family week at a lock down treatment facility. anyway I’m not going to go on and on just want to wish you and your family the best and may God bless you. oh and my son is now serving proudly with the 82nd airbourne and I have a beautiful daughter in law and grandson. kenn

Rocketman,

I had to respond to your post also. I have been where your son is now. You did not mention what he has done, but I would wager alcohol or drugs are part of the problem. I found myself in a mess at an early age but had no one I could freely talk to about what was going on in my life. I had a loving, fairly strict, old school parents. They love me to a fault, but I could not open up and talk to them about things without being “preached at”, so I continued what I was doing for far too many years. I am now clean and sober for over 10 years, and have had no problems with the law since. I have learned that my children respond to loving suggestion and open communication better than anything, although an occasional switch was needed in their younger years! I would suggest that you love like a father, LISTEN like a friend, and stay very involved in your sons life, no matter what mistakes he may make. Let him know how much you love him, AND how disappointed you are that he has gotten himself in such trouble. Let him know that you would love to help him out IF he would like. If he is not ready for your help, be patient…eventually he will be ready if communication and love are constant!

Pray for patience and guidance before your next conversation, and trust your instincts!

Good luck and God Bless,

Rooster

Please tell your son that there is a bag of fishing goodies on the way to you… for him… that includes some of my floaters, assorted Berkley Trilene Line & a Frenzy crankbait, some Berkley Power Baits, and a EFN – FTR hat!

The hat was Steve Hougom’s idea… Thanks Steve, great idea!

Please let him know that I hope to meet up with him, and you both, at the EFN Get-Together.

Best of luck to you both.

Hawger

I don’t have anything to add……………..my own experience offers very little and my wisdom has not grown enough to even pretend I understand all that you feel. As a father of young children, my concerns still lie with issues of lesser consequence. My heart goes out to you………….but I can only imagine, not comprehend all of the emotions and their levels of intensity that you surely must be experiencing. I can only pat you on the back for your courage to seek help………..somewhere. I mean, when our plans don’t get us where we want to be, it’s time to quit listening to ourselves and seek the wisdom of those that know better than we do………….and that takes courage! To the fellow posters hear at FTR, I commend you for your generosities and willing hearts………….actions DO speak louder than words. Rocketman, if your sons can see the benefit of such community involvement, and feel a part of it, or desire to be a part of it, let them see they are welcomed to it. We all differ and ruffle feathers some…………but in the crunch time, the bonds that exist come shining through………….and none of us, will ever have to be………or feel……….alone.

At this point, I can only suggest that God not be forgotten, ignored, blamed, or feared. Seek Him, He will guide you to His promises.

All our prayers,

The Goin Family

When I was a teenager I was incouragble also. I realized my problems were drugs and alcohol. My parents went the tough love route until I sobered up at age 20. I was sober for almost 15 years, and in the realm of insanity I decided to drink again. My parents went the tough love route again. I drank for another 5 years and now I’ve been sober (through AA) a little over a year. My mistakes in life were of my own making. I was fortunate enough to have parents like yourself who cared and instructed me how to live my life the right way. But they had to let me hit my own bottom alone. But I look at my fathers and my relationship as a little like the story of the prodigal son. My father now, and he’s the man I want to be like. I know because of my faith in Jesus Christ I’m able to tell my father I love him, and tell both of my parents that whenever I see them or email them. I just had to change the way I was thinking, for me to drink or use drugs is death and I no longer want to die.. I’ll pray for both you and your son. God Bless.