I was just listening to the radio, and I had to chuckle thinking back to some funny misheard lyrics that I’ve encountered over the years. Please add!
Panama by Van Halen: My wife used to think is was “Cannonball!”
Sharp Dressed Man by ZZ Top: My wife used to think it went, “Every girl’s crazy bout a short best man.”
Dirty Deeds by AC/DC: A friend thought it went “Dirty deeds and the thunder chief.”
Or the classic Manfred Mann’s Blinded by the Light:
“Wrapped up like a Douche”
My list would be too long. I butcher them all. The problem is the words I substitute aren’t actual words.
Couple lines from Van Halen – Running with the Devil that always screwed me up…
Actual:
Least I don’t need to beg or borrow, yes I’m livin’ at a pace that kills….
Me:
yes I’m livin and I chase those thrills…
and
Actual:
I got no love, no love you’d call real…
Me:
I got no love, no love or career….
Ha!
-J.
It’s pretty easy now to Google lyrics, but it wasn’t always that way.
I remember in college having arguments about what Kurt Cobain was really singing in “Smells Like Teen Spirit”. That song was almost indecipherable and the early versions of the Nevermind CD did not include the lyrics. Nobody got the lyrics to this one right just by watching MTV.
The best one I’ve personally heard:
CCR’s “Bad Moon Rising” (or is the song just Bad Moon, anyway…)
Don’t go ’round tonight
It’s a bound to take your life
There’s a bathroom on the right.
Grouse
“Smells Like Teen Spirit”
Even with the lyrics, I am usually at a loss. Probably my all-time favorite band, though!
Toby Keith tune, God Love Her,
Actual is “She holds tight to me and the Bible
On the back seat of my motorcycle”
I swore it was ….holds tight to me and the bottle…
I still like my version better. Changes the whole concept!!
More of these will come to me as I hear songs on the radio now.
ET
I always thought it was— She drives me crazy. Like a one whore cat house. 
Until the mrs. corrected me.
How about England Dan and John Ford Coley – “I’d Really love to See You Tonight”?
Actual – “I’m not talkin bout movin in”
Misheard – “I’m not talkin bout the linen”
My all-time favorite.
Smells Like Teen Spirit always got me too. You really just had to mumble along and hope no one asks you about the words you’re singing. Nirvana is one of my all-time favorite bands too, Ryan!
My mom once tried singing the words to Everlast’s What It’s Like… it was pretty funny. But I KNEW what song she was referring to, so she didn’t mess it up too badly.
I love that Family Guy bit! Peter’s Burger King song is a good one too.
By a friend of mine years ago from John Lennons Instant Karma
Instant Karmas gonna get you.
But he heard: Vincent the cop is gonna get you.
For the past 25 or so years I chuckle every time I hear it.
I’ve been spending way too long checking my bung in the mirror
And bending over backwards just to try to see it clearer
My breath fogged up the glass
And so I drew a new face and laughed
Gander mountain hunt fish camp.
may version= Gamder mountain hot fresh ham.
Steve Winwood, actual: bring me a higher love, my two kids when they were young would sing: bring me a pile of mud. Then they would giggle their little butts off.
Or the classic Manfred Mann’s Blinded by the Light:
“Wrapped up like a Douche”
I’m with pug-I butcher everything, even spoken conversation. As a young tot, my grandmother was forever walking around her house remarking that “There must be a draft in here, I’ve got a chill”…I spent over a year wondering what was wrong with me that I was the only one who couldn’t see the giraffe giving her chills. 
Although Tegg’s “Wrapped up like a Douche” was stuck in my head for so many years I still can’t hear that song and hear anything but that line. 
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