Life Update & Advice Needed

As many of you who know me already know, my wife and I have been hoping to start a family for quite some time. With coaching football and being an athletic director, I spend an excessive amount of time around some great young people with bright futures.

After a lot of prayers and a couple years of waiting, Mrs. Bucky and I will be adding a daughter to our family this February. The days of wondering are over and the preparations have begun. The excitement around our house is at an all-time high. The word “blessed” doesn’t begin to describe how we feel.

For those of you with children, what did you do to prepare and make the process easier for everyone? …Unfortunately Mrs. Bucky has already told me purchasing hunting, fishing, and sporting gear for the little one is not the first thing on the “to-do list” over the next 4 months.

Congrats on your first.
One thing we did when we had our first born was meet with other couples with newborns or little kids to talk about what they do or have done, we meet through a group the hospital had put together. Now with Facebook and things I bet it will be easy to find a group like that. FYI start a 529 also by they time she is 18 collage will be $75K a year.

Find something that triggers your gag reflex, bag it up and stick your face in it 10 times a day. Took me til daughter #2 to almost not gag on a poopy diaper. That being said I was 41 when my first baby girl was born and if I can do you can do it. It all comes pretty naturally and im not saying she has to but mommy will take care of most everything at first. Everyone says the second you see that baby your life changes, they aint kidding and trust me its awesome being a daddy. Congrats and have fun they grow up fast. Mine are only 2 & 3 but seem more grownup everyday wish it would slow down.

First, congratulations.

Second, yes you can do things like prep a baby room and get some clothes. High chair, crib, etc. But honestly most of it during the first few months just feels like survival mode. You learn as you go. I’d stock up on sleep if you can…. won’t be sleeping very much for awhile, lol.

Congrats!

Don’t stress. You were built for this. It can be stressful and exhausting, but it’s not all that complicated. Keep things in perspective. Take time for yourself and make sure that Mrs. Bucky does the same.

Congrats Bucky!!! I only have a 2 year old, so I’m still learning. However, one of the best pieces of advice I got was, from birth until the baby is done breast feeding your job is to support Mom as much as it is to take care of the baby. This can mean everything from being on diaper duty, to making dinner/doing laundry, to encouraging her to have a night out with friends, or just listening to her vent her tiredness or frustrations. Once baby is done breast feeding, helping out with feedings in the middle of the night or any other time is just as much your job.

Also, the sooner baby gets on an eating/sleeping schedule the easier life will be for Mom and Dad. It’s the best job in the world, and it just gets cooler as they grow! And while I hate cliches this one is 100% true, the days/nights are long but the years are short!

buckybadger wrote:

Unfortunately Mrs. Bucky has already told me purchasing hunting, fishing, and sporting gear for the little one is not the first thing on the “to-do list” over the next 4 months.

Congratulations!
But I will disagree with this somewhat. I don’t remember at what age the price goes up but a lifetime MN fishing license I thought was a great gift.

Ain’t no thang, you’ll get it.

We had twins on our first shot. One would’ve been a breeze

My only advice is to buy a newer and bigger boat now……you know, for safety

Congrats!

Some great advice already given. I will add this – kids tend to consume you. they consume your house, your relationships with the wife and friends, even your thoughts to some extent. My advice is to make sure you leave time for yourself to still do some of the things you love and also, and this part is important, make sure you are there to take care of the little one so mama can do that same. Kids are amazing and loads of fun but its important to try to maintain a sense of self too. I’ve seen many couples struggle with this and it can lead to fights and frustration.

Have fun and again congrats

buckybadger wrote:

After a lot of prayers and a couple years of waiting, Mrs. Bucky and I will be adding a daughter to our family this February.

You should have consulted us sooner. We could have had a little chat and with the help of a few whiteboard diagrams, could have shown you how waiting isn’t really what gets the, err, job done… Sorry, somebody had to…

First off, congratulations!!! A huge life step.

buckybadger wrote:

For those of you with children, what did you do to prepare and make the process easier for everyone?

I’d offer the following”

1. In the current age, people seem to thing “preparing for baby” = buying everything baby-related that they see anywhere.

Don’t! Resist buying whatever you can beyond the necessities because a lot of what you buy with no experience will “seem like a good idea” now will be “useless crap we never used” in a few months. And all that “stuff” causes stress and work on its own, with having to buy, assemble, store, figure out, etc.

Don’t buy anything until your personal experience has shown that you need it. For example, my wife was talked into a very expensive “nursing chair” for the baby’s room. Then she discovered that she hated sitting in there staring at the walls when feeding time came. So there was $500 shot to hell because we let somebody else convince us (with no experience) what we “needed”.

2. When baby finally arrives, your most precious commodity and the rarest one is… wait for it… SLEEP!

Figure out a sleep routine that works for both your wife, baby, and you, even if it means you and your wife sleep in different rooms. For Mrs. Grouse and I, the big thing that helped was not having one of us wake up the other when Grouselet 1.0 or 2.0 needed attention and it was “our shift”. For me, disturbed sleep is worse than no sleep, so once we figured that out, we managed to keep one of us fairly well-rested and functional at all times, which is way better than both of you exhausted and dysfunctional all the time.

3. Remember, whatever “stage” you’re in now, it won’t last. This is true for both good and difficult things when it comes to babies. Both of our children were hungry all the time, day/night whatever, as babies they had fuel tanks that held no more than 2 hours worth. It was very, very hard, but knowing that it doesn’t last helped a lot.

4. It’s over in a FLASH. Enjoy baby time because even though our youngest is now only 8, I can hardly remember what it was like because the “babies” disappeared in the blink of an eye.

5. The future is NOW. Get your financial house in order. Aldulting is about way more than you now.

You MUST have wills, solid financial plan and adequate life insurance. Yes, it’s a somewhat uncomfortable area to get into and to get started with and many have felt that there are “more important things to do before baby”. There are NOT. Get it done.

When that’s done, get a 529 started ASAP. You literally cannot believe how fast the time disappears and the time value of money is huge and cannot be made up for later. We started 529s months after each of our children was born and now I’m shocked at both how much we managed to save and then how much more I wished we’d put in in the early days when babies and toddlers were relatively cheap compared to the more expensive versions they become as they grow up. My oldest son is only 11, but (gulp) that’s only 7 years from college! Yikes!

Congrats and this is surely a life endeavor where you should strive every day to enjoy the journey.

Grouse

Congrats! Welcome to the club.

Fist of all, get as much fishing in now before your available time dwindles.

As far as how to prepare, I’m guessing she’ll have that pretty well covered with her nesting instinct. Bottom line like b-man said, you’ll figure it out. Unless you’re 18 years old and still trying to figure out how to be an adult, you’ll be just fine.

I agree with getting them on a schedule and sticking to it. My youngest, 19 months, has been going to bed and eating dinner at the same time every single day for the past 12 months. He sleeps from 7:30 pm to 7:00 am. Every day. No exceptions. Every child is different but this will certainly make your life easier. Stick to that schedule.

There’s also still some serious misconceptions out there. One is that some doctors may still say to avoid the high allergen foods like peanuts and eggs in the first year of life. This has recently been proven to be bad advice and has likely made kids more allergic to common foods. As soon as they start eating solids feed them pretty much anything possible. This info may also be written in parenting books that obviously wouldn’t have been updated.

Never heat a plastic bottle in the microwave. Never.

Congrats! Your lives are about to change, but in a much more rewarding way than you could imagine.
Nothing really can prepare you for it because its now that not only looking after you and your spouse, you have a little person that depends 100% on you for everything.
Start planning ahead for baby proofing your house. Get a swing, a diaper genie, a portable play pen that has a bassinet on it so when you visit family/friends she can get used to sleeping in there, etc.
For the winter make sure you have one of those blanket covers to go over the carseat. That is a must have.
Otherwise you have gotten lots of great advice already and I am sure when you are driving home the first time you will be driving like 5MPH the whole way all paranoid. LOL

biggill wrote:

There’s also still some serious misconceptions out there. One is that some doctors may still say to avoid the high allergen foods like peanuts and eggs in the first year of life. This has recently been proven to be bad advice and has likely made kids more allergic to common foods. As soon as they start eating solids feed them pretty much anything possible.

Amen to that.

Your all gonna scare the poor guy into thinking he will never sleep again. Either we got really lucky or you guys all exaggerate. Obviously you aint gonna get to sleep all night every night but it don’t last that long and aint that bad.

Congratulations! The bond between a little girl and her father is a precious thing. My best advice is to be present, it might mean dialing back on some of your favorite past times for a little bit, but keep your eyes open to the needs around you, savor all of the moments with your sweet one, and don’t forget to make time to build up your relationship with your wife. Hunting and fishing are some of my favorite activities, but I would trade them all to spend time with my daughter. Praying for a safe and healthy pregnancy and I can tell just by you asking this question that you’re going to be a great dad. Best of luck!

Being a dad is the best. My advise is a long with all the others. Buy more bottles then you think you need. Having a clean one in the middle of the night is priceless.
Also make sure your car is in top shape for your ride to the haspital.
Good luck and have a blast

BigWerm wrote:

Congrats Bucky!!! I only have a 2 year old, so I’m still learning. However, one of the best pieces of advice I got was, from birth until the baby is done breast feeding your job is to support Mom as much as it is to take care of the baby. This can mean everything from being on diaper duty, to making dinner/doing laundry, to encouraging her to have a night out with friends, or just listening to her vent her tiredness or frustrations. Once baby is done breast feeding, helping out with feedings in the middle of the night or any other time is just as much your job.

Also, the sooner baby gets on an eating/sleeping schedule the easier life will be for Mom and Dad. It’s the best job in the world, and it just gets cooler as they grow! And while I hate cliches this one is 100% true, the days/nights are long but the years are short!

This!

Congrats Bucky! I have a 19 month old and while my wife doesn’t need me to do a whole lot I do my best to do whatever I can to help her out.

The best advice I can give you is to remember your baby is different from all other babies. You will read books, hear from other people that tell you how you should care for your baby. But just remember if something that is common doesn’t work for your baby, but something else gets the job done, don’t feel any shame or guilt in doing it differently than others. I don’t care how many baby books are out there, there isn’t one written for YOURS! Do what works for your baby.

Second, is take that little girl everywhere with you from the first day you feel comfortable doing so. We took ours out to dinner the first week we brought her home and never looked back. She has been to 8 Twins games, to Wild games, and absolutely loves it, doesn’t make a noise and sits and watches the games. We can literally take her anywhere and she is fine because she’s been doing it her whole life. Now, will that work for yours? I can’t, say but if you start early there’s a good chance yours will get used to being in different environments very early. And that is a HUGE help in parenting.

Last is go for walks! Whether it’s your wife and the baby, you and the baby, or hopefully all three of you. For some reason (again speaking for ours), she can be in the worst mood, but the second we get outside for a walk she is happy again. It’s also a great way to keep you and your wife sane by getting out of the confines of the house for some fresh air. We walk around White Bear Lake almost daily when the weather is nice. It’s good for everybody.

Oh, and make sure you have a to go back packed a couple months in advance to your due date. You don’t want to waste time packing up your bags if that little girl decides she wants to meet her parents early!

Congrats Bucky! Our first is turning 3 on 10/20. We’re on the practice field working on a second currently. Great advice so far.

One thing I’ll add that made my wifes life much more enjoyable is taking the amma parenting classes. The classes are made up of all new mothers and newborns. It’s a great resource/group to bounce things off of. There is only so much a bunch of outdoors minded folks like us can provide. This class will connect your wife with 5 to 7 new mothers that are all trying to figure it out as well. My wife still stays in touch with a few of the mothers she met in this class.

Amma Parenting Classes

Congrats. I’m actually expecting my second daughter first week in February.

Like others said, get the room and everything ready. Buying all the cute and quirky clothes is secondary. Be sure she has everything ready for milk, if that’s what she chooses to do. Have your bag ready. I did not the first time and it was a mess, even though first labors generally take a long time.

Enjoy the snuggles, they don’t last long. Put your macho, manly feelings to the side. Absorb the cuddles and melt, it’s worth it and you wont care who sees you.

One last tip…DON’T ask to go fishing in the first couple weeks, specially if she doesn’t sleep well…I made that mistake…

Let’s try this link again

Amma Parenting Classes

404 ERROR wrote:

I’m actually expecting my second daughter first week in February

You will get to go fishing soon after this baby is born. Someone has to get the house of the lake.

As others have said, CONGRATS! There has been a lot of good advice already. My daughter is almost 19 months, so it wasn’t too long ago that I was in your shoes. If I had to add anything, it would be that you will get A LOT, and I mean A LOT of opinions on how things “should” be done, especially from your parents and in-laws, aunts, uncles, etc. The best thing I can say is to take everything with a grain of salt. Whatever schedule they stuck to, organization they used for this or that, etc. might not exactly work for you guys. Those first couple weeks will be exhausting, but you WILL figure it out, and you will figure it out in a way that works for YOU. As long as the baby is healthy, fed, and you guys are able to eat and get a little sleep those are the most important things.

There will be simple things that take a back burner. Maybe the dishes don’t get done that night and wait until the next morning, or maybe the entry way isn’t tidied up when people come to visit. That is OK too! Taking care of the little one and your wife will always be more important. Those things will get done when they get done.

Lastly, don’t be afraid to let people know when you need to have family time with just you, your wife, and your new child. Lots of people will want to come and visit the new baby (especially those first few weeks), but when you guys get a chance to rest or even if the baby is resting and you just need some time with your wife to admire that little blessing, then don’t be afraid to let them know. There will be plenty of time for visitors.

Becoming a dad has been the best blessing I could have ever asked for, and you will find our very shortly how much fun it can be!

X2 on diaper party! Start stocking up now on all sizes. Not so much newborn size but 1 and 2. Also don’t be afraid of hand me downs from friends/family, kids outgrow stuff so fast

One of those big pillows(boppy?) that wrap around you made for babies, not sure on the name, but a shoulder and elbow saver.

Good slippers. Lots of late night walking inside the home, want good foot support, and good traction with the lil person.

Strategic night lighting, getting to baby, to formula, boob, kitchen, etc.

Oil your door hinges, fasten any loose squeeky flooring as much as possible.

Bumbo seat when they get a bit older.

Congratulations!! Relax you will be fine, takes things as they come up and enjoy they grow up way to fast.

Say goodbye to your freedom! Please do not do those stupid gender reveals….please! Our daughter was a handful and talked back since she was able to talk so that is why she is an only child! Put family first and everything else will fall into place. They do grow up fast once they start becoming more independent so cherish the days of them crawling in your bed because it don’t last forever. Congrats and get on the river while you can! I’m planning a couple trips next week.

Deuces wrote:

One of those big pillows(boppy?) that wrap around you made for babies, not sure on the name, but a shoulder and elbow saver.

Dang I forgot this one! The ones that go around your waist for feeding time are great but they make a full one called the Boppy Lounger! That thing saved us! When we brought out baby home the first thing we said was, oh SH*%, where do we put her??? The boppy lounger you can just set on the floor and she can just lay in it and be comfortable and safe! Definitely get both of those (or ask for them).

https://tinyurl.com/y5a6eorf

Congratulations! And enjoy every minute.

Congratulations!

My best advise is to keep your daughter comfortable. You can’t have enough onesies and PJ’s.

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Good pair of safety scissors, some onesies aren’t worth salvaging.

Not a joke for above gophers onesie