Richard sounds like a narcissist. Does he realize how many people he’s affecting? “Well, Johnny, this team isn’t as fun as we thought it’d be, let’s see if we can switch”
If you want to help these two kids do what you can on your end to teach the importance of commitments.
A sticky wicket for sure. Maybe the kids need agents…
A few quick thoughts.
1) A situation like this, which happens all too frequently, is one of the reasons we are losing more and more coaches no matter volunteer or paid. The same can be said for refs in many sports.
2) Be very grateful that you have an AD that supports you.
Now, the sticky thought that comes to mind for me is that, aren’t all kids at the school entitled to play? Regardless of skill or talent level? I don’t personally support the decision “Richard” is trying to make, but for me, I am not sure if that even factors in with my idea that all kids should be allowed to play. Is there a max roster for that young of an age group in school ball?
I agree that you are in a challenging position though.
Thank you for stepping up and coaching!
FDR
The season has started and you had to bring up some younger kids to have a team. The kids who didn’t sign up for the team at the start of the year should have to wait until next season. IMO
They’re young. They’ll survive.
Good luck with your conundrum.
Be very grateful that you have an AD that supports you
I think it’s really unfortunate the AD even put you in this position. Is he new at this? There is a learning curve to everything but this now situation shouldn’t have ever been a situation. Teams were chosen to be on before seasons began, end of story imo.
At this point good luck.
IMO, keep the original team. You owe it to those kids…your kids. The other 2 are not your or your teams problem. The parents should be deal with that coach.
I think Richard changed his mind after he received a frosty reception from all fronts. He hasn’t called or texted me all weekend, so hopefully, this whole thing just goes away. I’ll know this week if his Superstar kid and the other kid are still playing on their traveling team, hopefully they just stick it out there.
I can’t tell you how much this kind of BS spoils the fun. I’ve never had any issues with the kids. The parents are mostly fine, but I correctly predicted exactly which 2 would be trouble and I was right. Of course, Richard came out of the blue, I never predicted this mess could ever happen.
Grouse
My son is in 5th grade as well and I coach both basketball and baseball so I understand the entire situation. How about this plan, allow the 2 boys to practice with your team but they cannot play in games this year. We all know players get better in practice not games, games are for parents and others to watch how the players are improving. If the 2 boys are truly interested in getting better and improving as a basketball player they will be open to this otherwise they will find another place to play.
It blows my mind this is happening at 5th grade already, and as a Dad of a 2 year old makes me worried for the future as he already loves sports. I agree with a couple others, let the kids on the team and let them practice. They will get little to no game time unless we need them due to injury, kids missing due to illness/vacation or mop up time at the end of a blowout. Tell the parents you are doing them a solid by letting them continue to develop their skills and hopefully friendships with their FUTURE teammates and any negative feedback from the kids or parents will lead to a dismissal from the team. You’re a volunteer coach and didn’t sign up for their bs.
I grew up pretty poor and it was all my parents could do to sign me up for little league. If I grew up in this generation of private / traveling teams I would have never strapped on cleats or worn a glove. One of my buddies pays thousands of dollars a year for his daughter to play volleyball. Hard for me to wrap my head around it.
Lots of variables and unknowns here… What is your philosophy as a coach (or waht does the school demand)? Equal playing team? Winning? Everybody plays some, better players play more?
IMO, the AD needs to say yes or no based on the overall philosophy/goals of the school/program- not you. He is paid to make that decision, you are volunteering (?) your free time to simply help out some kids play basketball because no other parents (?) want to. No need for you to look like the bad guy when you’re not.
A lose/lose situation for multiple parties involved. Personally, I would just say we are too late into the season and leave it at that – always more than welcome to join for next year.
Tell them to take up wrestling. It’s an individual sport.
How about this plan, allow the 2 boys to practice with your team but they cannot play in games this year. We all know players get better in practice not games, games are for parents and others to watch how the players are improving.
And how long do you think it will be before Richard and a couple of “winning is everything” parents to start asking why I’m benching some of my “best” players? I can see what’s going to happen here, entitled people will never honor their agreements, they always feel they are entitled to more. Also, then I’ll have other parents on my @ss as to why I don’t “just let them play”. What kind of a coach takes it out on the kids like that and makes them lose games???
He is paid to make that decision, you are volunteering (?) your free time to simply help out some kids play basketball because no other parents (?) want to.
The AD is a volunteer just like everybody else at the elementary level. I’ve got nothing but respect for him, he’s been doing it for 20 years. Believe me, if this were a paid gig, I’d PJ Flecking it all the way and be demanding a big raise and contract extension right about now… Oh and endorsements… I want endorsements…
My coaching philosophy is to improve every player and do what I can so kids have fun. I don’t feel the need to go any further than that, I don’t pretend to be some kind of coaching guru or basketball expert.
Hopefully, the problem has solved itself because Richard hasn’t called me. Maybe I’ll just get lucky and everyone stays where they are and then I don’t have to deal with a bunch of BS.
Grouse
The AD is a volunteer just like everybody else at the elementary level. I’ve got nothing but respect for him, he’s been doing it for 20 years.
Gotcha, assumed it was something along the lines of the school’s (High School) AD but since he’s the AD he covers everything, even the youth sports. And therefore would have some sort of long term plan in place on developing his programs from youth through high school.
A lose-lose situation, but hopefully it ended before it ever got to you having to make a decision and look like a bad guy for no reason.
Damn Grouse, tough one. I don’t envy your position at all.
Best case, you could make the decision to let them join, but earn their way onto the team. As in, “these boys have worked their butts off all year so far, you’re going to have to earn your place-both in mine, and your teams eyes”, then make SURE none of your existing kids lose any more playing time than necessary.
My Dad coached baseball when we were kids(we ALL knew I had no business on a basketball court). His first question every year was: “Kids, this is your choice. We can work hard and make our focus winning, or we can work hard, have some fun, learn a lot and win as many games as we can along the way”. Invariably our team chose the latter, and were better people and players for it.(I’m old, it’s not like the junior league world series or whatever was a thing.)
There just might be a chance for a life lesson to both your kids and the 2 others…in that, every one has to work hard here, and respect for each other is earned. If you can find a way to let those kids join, work their butts off to earn their play, and your existing kids feel like they aren’t slighted or replaced-while watching those 2 actually have to work their way onto the team, you just MIGHT provide a cool couple of life lessons for all. Maybe?
If you go that route, to hell what the parents think.
Good on you for being that concerned about the kids, win or lose. You’re trying to do the right thing by all the kids, and no one can ask for more than that. Good luck with whatever you decide.
Make it clear to Richard that this is a business decision, and ALL the facts will be reviewed objectively before coming to a final decision.
Then, I’d go through the game logs and review team stats and league stats. After looking at the most recent advanced NBA analytics, you’ve determined that the most efficient plays are as follows:
1. 3 pointers
2. dunks
3. Josh Harden isolation plays
I’d then ask Richard to provide stats on all three of those scenarios for his kid.
If Richie Jr. doesn’t match up to the NBA averages for those 3 scenarios(and let’s be real, he probably can’t even dunk), then it’s a clear decision.
But if Richie can’t hit threes, dunk, or score in isolation, how the heck is he gonna help the team? After all, you are preparing ALL of these kids for their eventual time in the NBA.
If they still won’t budge, tell them that you will host a 1-day try out for Richie Jr. in front of the rest of the team. If he can cumulatively:
– Hit 40% of 3 pointers in an NBA All-star skills game-style 3 point contest
– average a score of 7 or better in a slam dunk contest.
– beat you personally in a game of 1-1, first to 11.
then you’ll put him on the team.
Seriously though, I’d tell him them that you’d be happy to have them on the team next season, but it’s too disruptive and unfair to the current team to bring them aboard. If they’d like to get a head start, they can join the team for practice and you’ll consider working them into games at the end of the year. That way current players still get majority of playing time for the season, then hold some sort of team meeting/vote to see if the current players want to let the new players start contributing in games after a month or so. The current players may change their mind once they gel with the new players, or maybe towards playoff time they want to make a splash in the tournament.
You guys are all making this WAY too complicated. Just send the dad a link to Coach Norman Dale. “My team’s on the floor”
In all seriousness. I would stick with my guys.
Grouse,
Hats off to you for volunteering. Your not in an easy position. These are 4th and 5th graders. They are at the age of wanting to try different things and will change their minds. If you had a new kid move into your school district would you allow them to join mid season? Sounds like initially you didn’t have enough kids to field a team so you recruited kids from 4th grade. Seem like a pretty simple question: Do you have too many team members already to add 2 more and allow everyone acceptable playing time? If so, the answer is No, the team is at capacity already. Even though the parents may be a Richard, I would try to give the kids the benefit of the doubt and allow them the opportunity to continue to participate. Best of luck.
I have a different situation going on. With my son (8th grader), there is school basketball and travel tournament ball. He’s played travel ball since 4th grade. He’s not the top player, but he’s in the top half skill and production wise.
He either floats between A and B, or starts at point guard on B. Which is fine, but where the issue comes in, is travel ball. We had 7, yes 7 dads coaching our boys in travel ball. Out of those 7, I would say maybe 1 of their kids is in the top 3-4 boys playing on the teams. However the kids in the middle of the pack are the ones who suffer in this scenario. Play up on A every other tourney, then go lead B in scoring and rebounding the next week.
The one thing I asked for at the parents meeting last year was some consistency with coaching. I asked that the B squad only have 2 different guys coach them in tournaments. My son played 6 tournaments last year, and had 5 different head coaches. Anyway, state tournament comes around, and 10 kids can go, all of a sudden, the talk we heard all season about the best players going to state stops. All 7 coaches sons magically make the team (one who scored 7 points total in his last 9 games of the season, 6 of which were B games).
My son skipped tournament ball this year, and played school ball. Now, he gets to ice fish every Saturday instead of sitting at tourneys for 8 hours. it’s unfortunate that he had to learn about nepotism and cronyism at this age, but he’ll end up all the better for it. As for tourney ball this year, they went from 22 kids, down to 14. The record has went down, and the better players who aren’t sons of the super dads are not happy.
This is a case of adults not remembering what youth sports is about.
Maybe it’s worth mentioning to Richard “Marinovich” to consider taking a turn on the coaching sled.
This is why I favor Individual sports. Just way to much political BS associated with team sports. Hockey and Soccer are by far the worst. I have heard some stories from Parents who’s kids play these two sports that Blow my mind. The cost associated with youth sports these days are mind blowing at well. I know a TON of parents who Spend BIG $ each year on their kids in sports. League fee’s, Equipment, Traveling expense, Camps, Ect. The title of the post say’s it all ” Its a Shame ”
The cost associated with youth sports these days are mind blowing at well. I know a TON of parents who Spend BIG $ each year on their kids in sports. League fee’s, Equipment, Traveling expense, Camps, Ect. The title of the post say’s it all ” Its a Shame ”
The one that would really blow your mind is this competition dance stuff that girls are into now.
Larkin is the big studio on the East side. We have friends who have an 8 year old in the top tier there. With competition fees and costumes I doubt $10k a year would even come close to covering the tab. Add in all the travel and I’d guess it’s closer to $20k than 10.
But you know the big thing I feel that is being stolen from kids and parents is TIME. It is IMO crazy the amount of time that is being taken away by the excessive way these sports have grown. 10 year olds playing 40 game baseball schedules. Year around hockey. Look at the time that steals from the family.
Grouse
Had daughter who played traveling soccer yes it did cost us money every year but she got a scholarship to a D-1 school and between her accidemics and scholarship we payed nothing the 4 years she went. So investing up front payed off in long run.
My 8 year old did a show choir camp last year. I was shocked at how insane that was even. Parents screaming, wearing shirts with their kids names on them. These parents were more fired up than any of the crowds at the state basketball tournies we went to. They go to competitions all over the place (several states away).
Thankfully, she only did the local show, and hasn’t really expressed interest since.
The one that would really blow your mind is this competition dance stuff that girls are into now.
Ya I know about how costly Dance is. I have a good friend who has a daughter in Competitive dance. He says that cost him more a year than the cost of his Son in a Good college. He jokes that he cant wait till she goes to college so he can save some money 
i will say this. we learn from our parents. boomers divorced at astronomical rates. so what are we seeing from x’ers and millenials? waiting longer to get married, less marriage, less divorce.
we will see this in youth sports as well. this generation of kids will remember this insane push into uber competitive leagues. they’ll remember their lost summers. many of my friends when i was a child (late 80’s early 90’s) were put into travel teams and they missed out on so many other things. now that we all have children around the same age many of those friends refuse to push their kids one way or another.
Just an observation I have. I think it will come to a head at some point and we will see a reversion.
Just an observation I have. I think it will come to a head at some point and we will see a reversion.
Agreed, and I think we already are. Most big time college coaches have videos out promoting playing different sports, and if you look at the top athletes they very rarely focused on one thing at an early age. Playing more sports makes you better at all sports. It will be awhile until the Richards realize this, but I’m sure they will as year-round-travel-team Timmy gets passed up in middle or early high school by Multi-sport Mike.
I think it will come to a head at some point and we will see a reversion.
I think this has started to happen as well. After seeing how high school trapshooting and even high school bass fishing teams have seen a huge growth in interest. I dont believe the political side has hit these sports yet and I hope they never do.
I think this has started to happen as well. After seeing how high school trapshooting and even high school bass fishing teams have seen a huge growth in interest. I dont believe the political side has hit these sports yet and I hope they never do.
“Sorry Billy, your dad only has an Alumacraft tiller. Johnny’s dad has a Ranger, so he’s in and you’re out”. 
“Sorry Billy, your dad only has an Alumacraft tiller. Johnny’s dad has a Ranger, so he’s in and you’re out”. 
Thanks, I needed that laugh today 
Late to the party here but I’m gonna take a contrarian stance on this one.
If Richard and the other parents pushed their skilled kids into a league that they weren’t ready for and aren’t getting any playing time, and are attempting to now put them into a level that they are more suited for who is it really hurting if they aren’t allowed to play?
It’s those kids in the end not the parents.
By prevented those kids from having an opportunity to play even if they are late to the party it only exacerbates this issue. This is elementary/ middle school sports after all isn’t it??
Heck, even if it was high school sports it should be no different. Kids join and leave teams at all levels constantly. You see it at all levels, high school, college etc.
Sit them on the bench for a while or whatever until they become a part of the team or whatever. Holding it against those kids is a mistake in my opinion. It’s not their fault that their parents are Richards.
You must be logged in to reply to this topic.
