Alright I might understand a little. My Great Grandfather, Grandfather, Father, and my self have always called you Old Man Winter. I guess that really makes you Old Old Man Winter now 
So your back hurts and you don’t hold the wind you use too but dude, it is time to get it on!!
Stop eating the chili and start popping fudge sickles and snow cones 
It is time for to get off your 
and blow some cold then throw some snow.
I also am thinking; if this is getting to be too much of a struggle for you every year, why not look up Mother Nature and see what you two could throw off? In the good old days you had me on ice during deer season. I think it is time you start raising another champ. Maybe if your off spring does a good job we could start with the name Teen Man Winter Jr.
It is winter time now dude, bring it on 
when i was a young boy, it used to get a lot colder than these last few decades… 
