I was probably being a d*ck, but it sure was funny!

A spot for some humor.
If you are a long time lurker, let it be your reason for joining!

Tell us a story about a time you were probably being a D, but it was funny!!

I’ll start with a mild one.
I was prairie dog hunting, first trip, some years ago with about a dozen guys.
It was mid-day, the boys were staying cool near camp, and i was having too much fun to find shade.

I was a few hundred yards away from the group, who had apparently setup a tannerite bomb on a butte a few hundred yards out.
The group was huddled around one guy who was trying to shoot the tannerite. After the second time he missed, i ranged the target and dialed my scope.

I watched the group closely and when it looked like he was about to pull the trigger, i sent one round the instant before he could… BAM! Off it goes!!

The shooter let out a gasp and sigh of disappointment, while everybody laughed…I felt a little bad about blowing up his target, but man was it funny!

Later I’ll share a story about “Meatloafing a bar” and “the Pout Slap”.

Who’s got a laugh to share!

My wife and I were fishing off an access dock at a landing. This is not a very busy landing by no means. Guy came in very fast with a Ranger bass boat 225 Mercury on the back. Normally we immediately get off the dock so they can load /land. He was coming in so fast that I went to the edge of the dock to push my foot to deflect the boat from hitting the steel dock. The boat driver yelled !@#$% off don’t touch my boat. Well crash put in a 2 foot long gash into the side of the boat ripped it real good. Well I was a bit of a jerk my wife and I stayed on our side of the dock not leaving the guy much room, public dock guy was livid never said a word to him. well being he was way smarter than us my wife said he never trimmed his motor up I told her not to say a word. He landed the boat dragging the skeg on the concrete pillars it was leaking oil by the time he parked. Again not a word said. Yes I cleaned the oil up best I could heaven forbid Brainiac of the year would. Well normally I would do anything in my power to help someone loading/land etc. but it felt good that such a smart fishing guy as himself had the situation all under control. Please no complaining about people fishing on the docks I get it I don’t like it either this was an exception not the rule

I could write a book from work stories. Construction workers can be ruthless. One time had a new operator on the backhoe digging up a gas main. While he was cautiously digging over the top of the main, myself and the foreman slid the air compressor hose from the service truck underneath the backhoe. When he curled the bucket with a scoop of dirt the foreman cracked the hose wide open blowing air really loud and fast. He thought he hit the main and bailed off the hoe and took off running while 3 of us were rolling on the ground.

Oh God my stories would be endless. I tend to come off like a prick quite often and rub people the wrong way.

When ever ice fisherman set up camp with in 10 to 20 ft and then put there tip ups near ours I enjoy throwing snowballs at them and watching them endlessly chasing the flag. Even better when they have one of the alarms on it that notifies your phone.

I completed a guide trip and we returned to the launch. It was just insane how busy it was. I had my boat tied off out of the way and took care of my clients. Upon them leaving, I got in my truck and waited in line for those ahead of me. After about 30 boats in/or out and what seemed to be about a hour of waiting in line, it was my turn to drop my trailer in to pull out.

Well, as I back my trailer in, a big azz speed boat pulls into the ramp in line with my trailer. I get out of my truck and start walking to my boat (I am by myself), and all these drunks on the boat start screaming for me to get my truck the “F” out of the way. I politely tell them to move their boat as I have patiently waited in line like everyone else…and they will do the same.

Naturally that erupted into a pizzing match of which I am the biggest D*ck. Apparently the guy driving their boat had jumped out and went to get their truck. I could hear the screaming from across the parking lot that the 25-30 guys in line wouldn’t let him pull out of his parking stall let alone jump ahead in line.

I got in my boat and drove around behind their boat – of which they still were arguing with me and everyone else that they had some “right of way”. I finally lost my crap and began screaming at them. When this drunk lady wouldn’t shut her obnoxiously squealing mouth, I had to do something. So, spun my boat, trimmed the ‘ole Yammy up and threw the hammer down. I put a rooster tail about 20’ up in the air and just drenched that freaking waste of a boat. I spun around a second time and that dumb wench opened her mouth again. So I drenched her azz a second time.
As I turned my boat around, the guy was getting into his boat and backing up. More than anything, it was so rewarding to hear everyone laughing their azzes off and cheering me on – even the innocent people I drenched on the dock and other boats.
As I was strapping my boat down and prepping to leave, that idiot approached me in the lot. Before I had time to react, about a half dozen guys ran over to my defense. Never said a word, but that guy knew he was about to get his azz kicked and shuffled himself away.

Haha that’s a good story Randy. I don’t know why some people think the line forms in the water and not on land with a vehicle/trailer. I hate it when people tie their boat up IN the access point.

gimruis wrote:

I hate it when people tie their boat up IN the access point.

Wolf river during the whitebass run it happens frequently. Some day I’ll probably be shot at, but the key word is “UN-TIE” their boat up IN the access point – and I move it. They normally don’t have a clue since they are at the other end of the parking lot waiting in line

Other place I have no patience for inconsiderate people is gas stations. I’m sure there are plenty of videos being sent around of crap I’ve done to stupid people

Drunk in the bar dropped his cigarette. When he reached for it I stepped on his hand. I was not the soberest either. He pulled his hand away and just looked up at me. When he reached for it again I stepped on his hand again. Just looked up at me. Big time dick move but sure was funny to me at the time. My girlfriend(now wife) definitely did not see the humor.

When I was a grade school kid I was invited to join Mom’s older brother and crew for opener on Mille Lacs. Uncle was about 350 pounds and had an artificial leg. Great guy but not a good idea to mess with him. We were in the tavern for dinner Friday night, a few drunks at the bar were loud and profane. Uncle asked them to watch the language, they cussed him out. He got up, went to the bar to chat. One drunk wanted to take it outside. Uncle said no, settle it here. Kick me in the leg, then it’s mine turn to kick you. Drunk thought it was a good idea, wound up and kicked my Uncle in the artificial leg. Broke his foot, fell to the floor howling in pain. My Uncle smirked and walked back to the table. Vivid memory 50 years after the fact.

I try to be openly helpful whenever I can, but sometimes I cannot look beyond stupidity and say or do things I shouldn’t.

As far as outdoors related, it is more often then not subtle comments that I use for enjoyment. Some of my favorite lines at launches if I see someone yelling at a spouse like an a$$hole are “I know a great divorce lawyer” or “I think he meant to say I love you”.

For non outdoors related moments, I am a good pool player and used to be lights out in my younger days as someone who won a lot of $$$ at college bars with classic hustling tactics. I played a lot growing up and in quite a few tournaments when home over the holidays or whatnot. The only real story that sticks out is when I was down 2 games to 0 and pulled out the “best of 5 line” on a guy who seemed a bit older at the time for a college bar (mid to late 30s) at the old Press Bar in St. Cloud who was a good player, but nothing special. He initiated the game and was very arrogant in beating someone as we walked in. I had been out and about with friends for a while, so I wasn’t nearly as subtle as I should have been due to liquid encouragement. I ran the table from the break in game 3 and couldn’t help but smile as some buddies were laughing hysterically. At $20 a game, winner takes all ($100) he became clearly pissed off. After I finished beating him the next 2 with ease, the guy was threatening to “get me tossed from the bar” for no real reason. The guy brings over a bouncer, explains the situation, and pleads that I targeted him. Keep in mind, the guy was sober and came to me first to play and not the other way around. I eventually told him if he took a triple shot of something gross (Rumpleminze) and cooled down we’d call it even as I generally had no intentions of this happening to begin with without the egging on from buddies. The guy agreed to keep his money and consume the shots. After the first one, as the second shot hit his lips he hurled everywhere including on a couple of innocent women who were watching next to the table. The guy threw the glass down and walked out of the packed bar pissed. Fast forward to Monday morning, and the guy was the new adjunct professor for my Economics class as the original prof had a terminal health condition. Talk about awkward.

Many many years ago, my brother and I were down at the local park where all the neighbor kids hang out. Everyone rode their bicycle there, us included. There was always this one kid there that no one really liked.

One afternoon, this kid went into the porta potty and used it. My brother and I pushed it over while he was in it. And we pushed it so that the door was facing the ground too so he couldn’t get out. Then we hopped on our bikes and cruised away.

I remember seeing this on Jackass the Movie when that came out too.

When ever I see someone driving fast behind me on the freeway when I’m going 10 over the speed limit as well I will try and box them in. Go ahead and rear end my truck with a receiver with your Subaru WRC.

We’ll just say hypothetically, if you’re driving a convertible in rush hour traffic, it would probably be wise to check and see if the guy you cut off in the truck full of live animal traps is carrying a live skunk. One that freshly sprayed the inside of one of those traps and the rest of the back of the truck. I mean its highly probable that the driver of that truck might then position it to be directly in front of your convertible for MILES or something.

Some of you are real A holes.

Canadian side of Rainy Lake in 1998. My buddy was tired of running the boat so I took a turn. We were back trolling a saddle between 2 islands with the electric. Another boat approached while fishing and saw that were were catching fish nearer to one of the islands. As he was getting closer I put our boat close to the point to cut him off. No way he is going to go between us and the point. Wrong, he proceeded through the 30-foot opening.
I said with a straight face, “Do you want to fish out of our boat?” After I said that his wife chortled. This pissed him off even more. He was up in front running the bow mount so he got and walked back to the console. Fired up the motor and was heading away. Dang, he forgot to pull up the bow mount so he had to bring it down to idle and go up and pull it up. He still isn’t 80 feet from us. Then he left the area.
Found out the next day he had a place on one of the nearby islands. We were fishing the same spot and as he went by gaving us the finger and yelling, “You f’ers!!”
Four or five days later on our last morning we were fishing the other end of the gap between these two islands. The other guy was heading to one of the resorts, probably to get gas, and saw us. He spun around and drove up to us and stopped about 50 feet away. He said, “Geez, a 200,000 acre lake and I always end up by you guys!” Then he gunned it, did a few circles around us and went on his way.
The reason I know it was 1998 was in 1999 I bought a new boat so I wasn’t in my buddy’s boat anymore. He was worried the guy would still recognize his boat.

mojogunter wrote:

Some of you are real A holes.

With a badge to prove it

Attachments:

1. 

   6DFED6DC-A9A4-4C2E-B6F3-6032C0A5F028.jpg
   

My go to move when we are crappie fishing in the channels is to cast as close to the bobbers from the boat next to us as possible. Not the ones that are catching fish tho. You need to find the guy that’s struggling. There nothing better than seeing the look of frustration
in that guy’s face knowing that the crappie snubbed him and chomped my rig within seconds.

Early days of GPS I was fishing on Lake of the Woods. I was fishing along a break line using GPS to keep me oriented to the structure I was fishing. When I got to the spot I was alone. Pretty soon there were several boats on the spot. It got to the point where it was just about impossible to fish the area. So I set out a couple of marker buoys, one at each end of the break. I did not deploy the weights… so as the buoys drifted off, the boats continued to fish the space between the buoys.

When I was done, I motored over and picked up the buoys. I do not know how many of them ever noticed what had actually happened.

This is more of a practical joke that I’ve pulled on friends and relatives.

Take someone’s fishing rod, when they are not around, and pull off about 50 ft of line then wind it back on the reel. Makes for some good laughs usually but once in awhile a guy gets PO.

We have been taking a launch out on mille lacs for the last 3 years for work. It is always in the middle of the day and fishing is normally tough. It is a team building deal.myself and 1 other guy always bring our own rod and tackle. I will wait for someone to not pay attention to their rod real it in and attach depth bomb to it and cast it back out you should see the hooksets some of my coworkers have on a depth bomb. That little lead weight hurts when they get mad a chuck it at you.

mojogunter wrote:

Some of you are real A holes.

Was just thinking the same thing! Lol

Joe Jarl wrote:

<div class=”d4p-bbt-quote-title”>mojogunter wrote:</div>
Some of you are real A holes.

Was just thinking the same thing! Lol

Yeah no kidding.

But I don’t feel the need to wave at every single freakin person in a boat and I’m the douche…..

Deuces wrote:

<div class=”d4p-bbt-quote-title”>Joe Jarl wrote:</div>

<div class=”d4p-bbt-quote-title”>mojogunter wrote:</div>
Some of you are real A holes.

Was just thinking the same thing! Lol

Yeah no kidding.

But I don’t feel the need to wave at every single freakin person in a boat and I’m the douche…..

Pretty sure not waving is at the top of the list of D moves!

I don’t know what year this was as I am terrible at dates but I had sold my boat and had not purchased another one yet when my brother decided he wanted to go to mille lacs fishing in his shiny red speed boat with the big swim platform off the back. I thought what the heck and agreed to go. We got up to lakeside resort and it was around 8:30 or so with a 10:00 off the lake rule and I just wanted to sit around and have a few and hit it hard in the morning but my brother had other ideas and out we went. At this time my brother had really not shown that much interest in fishing and set his bobber at about 6′ depth and we were in 15′ or so of water. I told him he had to set his depth correctly or he would not catch anything but didn’t care and he cast out and bobber goes straight down. I start laughing that he has to much weight on when his rod doubles over. 27″ walleye, makes another cast, out for less than a minute and down his bobber goes again and this time it is a 25″. Told my son to move up to depth of 6′ and catches one right away too and now it is 10:00 and have to get off the lake. Fast forward to the next weekend and I am with another buddy sitting in the bar at Lakeside having a few when the guy next to me said you should have been here last weekend. There were these guys in a big red speed boat that caught a few fish but were clearly clueless. Me and brother to this day call each other clueless when fishing and always brings a good laugh.

michael keehr wrote:

We have been taking a launch out on mille lacs for the last 3 years for work. It is always in the middle of the day and fishing is normally tough. It is a team building deal.myself and 1 other guy always bring our own rod and tackle. I will wait for someone to not pay attention to their rod real it in and attach depth bomb to it and cast it back out you should see the hooksets some of my coworkers have on a depth bomb. That little lead weight hurts when they get mad a chuck it at you.

I did something similar to my Father years ago on a launch. He went to use the mens room and I put an empty beer can on his hook. It slowly filled with water and then sank, pulling his slip bobber under just like a fish would. He set the hook and said “oh I think its a slot fish” and then up came an empty can of coors light.

This was a long time ago, late 80’s early 90’s. We had an outhouse at the deer shack before indoor plumbing. We were working on some tip ups when my buddy had an idea. We attached a squirrel tail to the tip up, placed it under the seat in the out house. Rigged up some monofilament to a guys only type magazine. When a new guy went to the outhouse, he usually grabbed the magazine and would get slapped in the privates by a squirrel tail. If we only had video of the new guys flying out of the outhouse with their pants down. I’m still chuckling as I type this 30 some years later.

Somehow, I always have to clean my windshield when a motorcycle tail gates me. Funny how that happens just about all the time. The expression and the (silent to me) words in the mirror are priceless when my over active washer pumps gets then. They drop back until they can pass. They don’t even know its intentional. However, I got the same guy two mornings in a row commuting. He was one pissed off tough looking guy. As dumb as he looked,…I think he knew but its hard to argue with a 3500 dually when you are on bike.

Several years ago on Leech, staying in a sleeper with two buds. Corey and Adam.

First hour in the shack, Adam catches a ~5 lb pike. He wipes his slimy hands on Corey’s new “Scent Lok” pants. Corey looses his ****. He was super mad that his nice new no scent hunting pants were now covered in fish slime.

Adam and I, just thought it humorous.

We eat the pike, play some poker. I remember we get corey Amp’d up PO’d in a discussion about Antler Point Restrictions. He eventually passes out in his chair from too many cocktails.

So, Adam and I, have a bright idea…Let’s put some suckers, minnows, etc into his Scent Lok pants pockets. Cargo pockets and all.
Before we went to bed, we made a wager on when he would find these minnows in his pockets…Before, or during Deer Season the next fall…

That night, Corey does what Corey does best, and wets the bed…In his Scent Lok Pants no less. LOL. Typical Corey – put him on the bottom bunk!!

So he undressed the next morning in shame, and through the weekend we go.

Fast forward to the following deer season…And Corey finds his dehydrated minnows/suckers!!!! LOL!

Our good friend Adam past on since then, but i did remind Corey this year deer hunting, that if he ever gets fish slime on his pants…He just has to wash them, and dry them to re-activate the Carbon. Its been long enough he can laugh about it now!

Pretty sure we were being a dick, but it sure was funny!! Some people are just too easy!

July 4th weekend, Friday, Mille Lacs, The Wharf. 8:30 PM.
Oh, 10 years ago ish.

Eat supper at the Wharf with a bunch of friends.
I finish my supper, walk up to juke box, put in $40.
Play MeatLoaf “I’ll Do Anything For Love” …Oh, a few dozen times, with a different Meatloaf song in the middle.

I walk up to bar, pay my tab, and walk out side to have a smoke.

Part way into my smoke, Meatloaf starts playing.

Bartender walks outside to talk to me. He asks “Did you play Meatloaf?”…
I reply with enthusiasm. “YES, CRANK IT UP”.
He agrees and goes back into bar…Cranks up the music to a Friday Night Level!

My buddies thought the scene to be suspicious, so they come out side and ask whats up? I said…”Fellas, WE GOTTA GO”.

I didn’t tell them why. They paid their tabs, and off we go.
I explained the situation on our way back to the cabins. Said, we cannot go back there this weekend. So, we didn’t.

6 months later, i’m staying at Appledorns ice fishing with a big group, a dozen of us. We do a midnight trip off the ice to the Wharf for some scenery.

I walk into the bar, the bartender straightens his arm and points right at me and shouts “MEATLOAF!!”.

Oh i about rolled on the floor laughing. He never forgot the a** who played Meatloaf I’ll DO Anything For Love, over and over again.

Apparently, Meatloaf, I’ll do anything for love, played ALL night until bar close, with of course, one other meatloaf song in the middle.

I’m not sure why they didn’t unplug the juke box, or if anyone realized it was playing all the night…But it seemed like they rode it out, but never forgot!! haha

You see, when you play that song, it is easy to lose track of time. The song just goes on and on. When you play it on repeat, it is almost impossible to know when it ends, and begins again!

From then on, on occasion, i’d visit a bar with some friends. If a meatloaf song came on…They’d immediately look at me and say “Did you meatloaf the bar?”.

Since then, Jukebox have changed, making this game nearly impossible to play….Sure was Funny while it lasted!!

FishBlood&RiverMud wrote:

July 4th weekend, Friday, Mille Lacs, The Wharf. 8:30 PM.
Oh, 10 years ago ish.

Eat supper at the Wharf with a bunch of friends.
I finish my supper, walk up to juke box, put in $40.
Play MeatLoaf “I’ll Do Anything For Love” …Oh, a few dozen times, with a different Meatloaf song in the middle.

Not to be a d*ck, but last time you told this story it was $30 in the jukebox.