Tough call here.
I think you’re right that the election judge shouldn’t point to a specific bubble on the ballot, that’s just unnecessary. And I interpreted your last comment about your wife’s question honestly as more of a refreshing bit of self-awareness than anything, however it is a bit illustrative of the current political environment in the US.
“Something happens that might not help ‘my party’, I’m going to raise a stink”
“Something happens that helps ‘my party’ but isn’t right, no big deal”.
Honestly, I think making a complaint is just fine and probably warranted here, and that comes from a very not-red voter. Laws around voter suppression/intimidation are absolutely necessary, this falls into that broader category, but probably pretty far to the ‘will not actually influence the overall results’ side of the spectrum. That said, there should be no tolerance for influencing votes at a polling location.
The larger problems plaguing our election process are the things that have very real and tangible/measurable impacts on the overall results. Voter suppression is real, and happens all over the place(note enough polling locations, polls opening late, NOT MAKING ELECTION DAY A HOLIDAY which makes it harder for some demographics to vote, etc.)
Voter intimidation is becoming more common again, and I’m sorry to say that is MUCH stronger/more common on the far right side. Like in Arizona where fully armed(visible guns and bulletproof vests) groups were monitoring ballot boxes.
The other big one is gerrymandering, which is rampant across the country. District lines are drawn in a way to benefit one party over another. I’ve read some analysis that shows Republicans get a slight advantage overall due to gerrymandering when it comes to Congress seats, but there are CLEAR examples on both sides. Here’s some examples:
https://thefulcrum.us/worst-gerrymandering-districts-example