First of all thanks Jason for posting yesterday for me. Secondly, thanks everyone for the outpouring of compassion. I know Kaden and his family appreciate it. I have attatched a link for the arrangements for Kaden if anyone is interested.
I am also going to post the 1st Care Page Kadens mom wrote yesterday after his passing. Even during his final hours, he needed to hear that it was ok, he didn’t need to be strong for mom and dad anymore. Such a strong child.
God’s companion
Written Dec 22, 2012 7:08am
At 4am I awoke to the alarm on Logan’s phone. The song “Home” by Phillip Phillips blared loudly; it was time for Kaden’s meds. Before we went to bed Logan gave me his phone because he never hears it and he knew how important the meds were for Kaden. We had been sleeping since midnight. I called out for Logan but to no avail; I had to get out of our bed and go into Kaden’s room where Logan and Kaden were sleeping soundly. I woke Logan up and right away we noticed that Kaden’s breathing wasn’t strained anymore. His breaths were shallow and even; there was no loud moans or groans. Logan commented that we must have found the right combination of meds finally! As Logan was getting the meds I laid back down in our bed. I had an overwhelming sense of sadness come over me and I started crying. I figured I should get up and help Logan with Kaden so I hauled myself into Kaden’s room once more. I could hear Logan saying, “Kaden, Kaden…time for meds”. Kaden didn’t respond verbally but that didn’t surprise us. We sat him up and gave him his meds then laid him back down. I sat on his bed with him and held his left hand and stroked it as I had done before I kissed him good night.
During this time Tj decided that he needed to go out. So Logan got his jacket and hat on and took Tj out. I sat with Kaden and listened to him breath. Once again I started crying and I started telling him everything that I had told him the night before. How much I loved him, How strong he was, How proud I was of him for fighting so long, and finally I told him (just as Logan and I told him last night) that it was okay for him to stop fighting and let go. I honestly don’t know how much time passed but all of a sudden I felt two squeezes from Kaden’s hand that I was holding. As I was processing that I noticed he had stopped breathing. I had to listen carefully because I wasn’t sure if I had just missed a breath. I no longer heard or felt him breathing. There was no gasp, no struggle, no final breath…he just stopped. Then I put my ear to his chest and didn’t hear or feel his heart beating. I felt a small movement of his chest, as if something had just been released, and then and there I knew he had passed. It was calm, it was peaceful, it was everything we asked for and Kaden gave it to us. In that moment I didn’t panic. I left Kaden and went to the door to call for Logan but he didn’t hear me. Moments later he came back in and I told him that I thought Kaden had let go. Of course we both started sobbing and Logan asked, “Why didn’t he wait for me?” I felt a sense of guilt all of a sudden because I was the only one with him when he passed. I didn’t understand it but I felt that this was how Kaden wanted it. Maybe he thought it would be too difficult for Logan to carry that memory with him.
At 4:20am, Kaden became God’s new companion. He looked peaceful as he lay in his bed. He even had a small smile on his face.
The girls are with us and so we woke them up so that they could be with Kaden and say what they needed to say and mourn the loss of their little brother. We all sat in his room with his Christmas tree lights on and we all just cried. The girls said they were glad they were here to be with their brother. Kaden knew we were all around him and surrounding him with love.
We called Hospice and Father Connelly and they arrived about 30 minutes later. We spent the next hour and a half sitting with Kaden and talking and crying. The girls couldn’t get close enough to their brother.
At 6:57am Logan carried Kaden, swaddled in a white sheet, still somewhat warm and sweaty (Kaden always sweat at night) out to Macken’s van. Although Logan didn’t get to witness the miracle of Kaden’s passing, he got to hold and carry his “boy boy” one last time. He always said he wanted to be the last one to carry Kaden…that wish was fulfilled.
Kaden is being brought to the Mayo Clinic for autopsy and harvesting of his diseased organs for research. Logan and I need to meet with the funeral directors today at 3:30pm to discuss arrangements. I will pass those along once we have them confirmed but right now we are thinking either Wednesday/Thursday or Thursday/Friday depending on logistics.
Kaden Samuel Tjossem – born October 19, 2007. May he rest eternally on this day December 22, 2012. He put up a valiant fight against cancer for 15 months and one day. He has finally won because cancer can live no longer inside of him. He is free of that burden and we are so proud of our son for being so strong for all of us. We love you and we will forever miss you Kaden. In Logan’s words, “He was the perfect son”
