Friday Funny

  • Brad Juaire
    Maple Grove, MN
    Posts: 6101
    #205944

    Whether you are a dog lover or not, cat lover or not, I thought this was pretty funny.

    Excerpts from a Dog’s Diary……

    8:00 am – Dog food! My favorite thing!

    9:30 am – A car ride! My favorite thing!

    9:40 am – A walk in the park! My favorite thing!

    10:30 am – Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!

    12:00 pm – Lunch! My favorite thing!

    1:00 pm – Played in the yard! My favorite thing!

    3:00 pm – Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!

    5:00 pm – Milk bones! My favorite thing!

    7:00 pm – Got to play ball! My favorite thing!

    8:00 pm – Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!

    11:00 pm – Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!

    Excerpts from a Cat’s Daily Diary…

    Day 983 of my captivity:

    My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects.

    They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength.

    The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.

    Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a ‘good little hunter’ I am. monkeybutts.

    There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of ‘allergies.’ I must learn what this means and how to use it to my advantage.

    Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow — but at the top of the stairs.

    I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released – and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously mentally challenged.

    The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicating with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe. For now…………….

    blush
    Maple Grove, Minnesota
    Posts: 55
    #56693

    This one is for you Little G Nick truly believes you are a Cat Lover!

    prieser
    Byron, MN
    Posts: 2274
    #56694

    The only good cat is a dead one. Ditch Tigers beware.

    suzuki
    Woodbury, Mn
    Posts: 18625
    #56697

    Very Funny!!!

    Brad Juaire
    Maple Grove, MN
    Posts: 6101
    #56704

    Quote:


    The only good cat is a dead one. Ditch Tigers beware.


    I used to think the same thing Bob for many many years. However that all changed this year when I got married and I now have a step-son (Nick) who’s a special needs child (cerebral palsy and autism). He has two “kitties” (he also calls them his babies) named Pepper and Simba. The cats are very good therapy for him and gives him a sense of calming to help fight his anxiety attacks. It also teaches him responsibility. He has to make sure they have food and water. He brushes them weekly and even brushes their teeth. Sometimes (with bribary) he will even help clean out the litter box. These two cats are a big part of his life and he loves them dearly (more than anyone could ever imagine). Nick doesn’t have many friends. No one calls him up and asks him to play. If fact, he’s 14 now and has never been invited to a birthday party. The cats are is friends and thus gives him joy in his life. Needless to say, I no longer think a good cat is a dead cat.

    lick
    Posts: 6443
    #56743

    well said brad

    we “inherited” a cat when my mother in law passed away she is now 16 and is definately the queen of our castle

    as far as my work one stray showed up we made friends i started to feed it then another showed up surprise 1 boy cat and 1 girl cat 2 years later i cant tell you how many have come and gone i think half the workers there now have cats have 13 there now with another batch on the way gonna weed it down to 3 and get em fixed did name 2 of the new ones boone and crockett the 1st one i had would ride on my forklift with me im getting soft couldnt shoot one now if given the chance

    p.s. brad does nick need a few more?????

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