How do you keep your kids safe??

My son is 5, almost 6. I’m wondering how you guys give your kids some independence and balance safety. For example, he wanted to wait in the truck the other day while I ran into Mendards quick (not a long shopping trip, just super quick in and out). Something told me to tell him, never open the door for anyone other than daddy. Of course he asked a bunch of questions why. Another example could be letting him get off the bus on his own (we have a long driveway so we can’t see from the house). I’m sure lots of other things will come up that will give me pause.

How do you guys keep your kids safe, being realistic with them, without freaking them out too much?

First off- I’d never in a million years leave my 6 year old in the truck while I ran into any store for super quick in and out.. You’re setting up yourself for child neglect FYI. And to answer your question, I keep my kids safe by trusting no one.

But you can’t hide them from the world forever. Each kid matures differently and I guess with mine I go with what they can handle at their age. I wish it was easier but it’s a really tough call on a lot of things. The days of kids hopping on their bike with their buddies in the morning and not coming home until sunset are over. Sad world we live in now.

This thread should get heated quickly.

What works for you and your family may not work or be appropriate for another. You have to decide how to raise your little ones. I just read an article where they were saying that kids now have a lot more anxiety then generations in the past basically because parents are overprotective and do not let them be in situtions where they could be at risk. The article explained that the way we develop emotionally and mentally depends on having those experiences in order to cope with stress as adults.

It sure would be nice if there was an owner’s manual that we could have referred to for situations like this. There are so many varying factors. My girls are in their 20s and I still feel like this sometimes.

I agree a lot with what walleye Buster stated. The maturity level for young children can range so much. Additionally their interpretation of what they’re being told. And this becomes one of the most difficult tasks for us as parents each face. It’s a hard juggling Act but you need to assess each and every circumstance and risk and match that to the maturity level of your child. Always go with your gut. If the situation doesn’t feel right don’t leave him alone

My grandson was 8 this summer. I let him drive the golf cart around the yard by himself without a adult in the cart this fall. He did fine as I knew he would. As far as leaving them alone in the truck I’m not on board with that. If he wants to do that leave him home with mom. They can’t live in a bubble but at the same time they need to gain their independence and grow also. Don’t be worried or confused, it’s been like this forever. Today we worry about pedophiles and wacko’s. In times past they worried the kid would get eaten by something.

Parents will be parents, kids will be kids. Main thing is the parents control ALL SITUATIONS not the kids. When in doubt ask yourself what your dad would have done if he was there.

Here is a small test of maturity. Allow you kid to do something. The next time say no. If they are mature and trust your judgement they will obey. If they ask in a reasonable way “why not” and accept your explanation, that is good also. If they throw a fit, they lack the maturity.

Varies state by state, but I think MN has no specific age laws about leaving kids in cars or houses, which means it is up to the discretion of an officer/court to determine neglect or endangerment.

I only leave my 2 & 4yr kids in the car if I can maintain line of sight (basically gas stations).

We let 10 & 12yr old sisters babysit our kids with thier mom at home down the street.

Next major decision will probably be when he can walk down the street 6 houses to his friends house alone. I dont want to think about riding bikes to parks etc.

We also dont really shield our kids from understanding danger/mortality. If he asks about a news story (jacob w.) or amber alerts I give him basic facts without trying to make it terrifying or emotionally sterile. We keep some books about stranger danger in the rotation.

Our oldest at 5 yrs old I’d send into the gas station to buy donuts. I got a sweet tooth like her and found it to be a good independence exercise

Of course we were blessed with all girls so their superior intelligence and maturity at that age may be a bit different

I agree with what has been said. Let your observations of the child tell you what they can handle or not. And I’ll add to throw in some small, smart, calculated risks here and there to help them grow, as well as yourself. Can’t protect em from everything, and maybe you shouldn’t?

They carry glocks

Yikes! 2 and 4-year-olds left in a car. Too risky man. I understand they may be just outside the gas station, but there are too many sick twisted people in this world to risk it. A lot of times these people work together. What if they create a diversion in the store and you look away…boom, car window breaks, your babies are snatched before you know it and are driven to God knows where. I know it’s a pain in the ass to unload the kids and bring them inside, trust me I’ve been there. Not to be preachy, but it’s your responsibility to protect them. Just imagine what horrible things could happen to them the next time you leave them in the car. I’m not trying to be an ass, just trying to give you some perspective.

Yah, but what if you bring them in a convienience store and a armed robbery ensues with gunfire? Maybe they would be safer in the car. Convenience stores around here get shot up way more than kids get abducted.

Helmets at all times. Lined with tinfoil. Hockey pads if going outside.

My son just had a birthday and became 6. This summer I allowed him to stay in the truck twice when I ran into the gas station. Both times I made sure I could keep an eye on the truck the whole time. I didn’t even look at the cashier, no one else in the store or at the gas pumps. But I still felt uneasy doing it. Mabey it was because my boat was hooked up to it and I had a lot of gear in the boat. (I am sure someone would take the fishing gear before my son was my thought.) As a parent I think you will always worry about your kids and that never goes away. I still get calls from my mom to be carefully driving on vary bad weather days. If I could not see the car the whole time and if I am going to be more than 5 min, I would not even think about letting him wait in the car.

When I was young we rode our snowmobiles and fourwheelers everywhere without mom and dads supervision, I was 7 and my brother 6. Although we lived in the country being the only house on our side of the lake, we had a wide open area to roam. My brother in law is 9 years old and I wouldn’t trust him on a snowmobile by himself if he was supervised but my 2 yr old has just started driving a snowmobile and atv (I am on it with him) and by 5 will hopefully be able to follow me out to the fish house or down our hunting trails on our land. I think as stated above, kids mature differently and that is the result of what they are exposed to. This world now is very different than when I grew up, and would not let my child do half the things I did growing up due to the sickos in the world and the fact I do not live in a rural setting for room to roam like I did.

Mookie Blaylock wrote:

Helmets at all times. Lined with tinfoil. Hockey pads if going outside.

There was a family on my block growing up in the 80s/90s that made their kids wear bike helmets on the swing set. Those kids were terrorized by the rest of us rabid latch-key kids.

I don’t believe there are more psychos on the prowl today than when I was a kid. We just have them very well defined now, and when one does strike the media coverage is so thorough that it creates a lot of panic. That’s just my opinion. I fear the wrath of the nanny state more than anything. Some folks with “mandatory reporter” status will take it upon themselves to report young kids left in cars for any time at all. Happened to one of my wife’s friends a few years ago, her life was turned upside down for nothing.

My kids are 5th grade and 2nd grade. This year we started allowing big bro to look after little sis for up to 3-4 hours at a time. We put him through babysitting and first aid courses at the YMCA and he’s been very responsible. He’s been free to explore the neighborhood on his bike for a couple years.

There is a big difference between over protecting/coddling a child and being safe.

Although some of the actions overlap, it’s all in the delivery.

Just curious, is the street lamp rule still in place if the kids are running around with the other neighborhood kids?

walleyevision wrote:

Yikes! 2 and 4-year-olds left in a car. Too risky man. I understand they may be just outside the gas station, but there are too many sick twisted people in this world to risk it. A lot of times these people work together. What if they create a diversion in the store and you look away…boom, car window breaks, your babies are snatched before you know it and are driven to God knows where.

I suppose anything is possible, but a rather extreme scenario you created there. In a store or gas station parking lot, likely other’s would be around and security cameras would also deter that kind of perpetration. I think there are far more likely threats to young children than that.

pool2fool wrote:

I don’t believe there are more psychos on the prowl today than when I was a kid. We just have them very well defined now, and when one does strike the media coverage is so thorough that it creates a lot of panic. That’s just my opinion. I fear the wrath of the nanny state more than anything. Some folks with “mandatory reporter” status will take it upon themselves to report young kids left in cars for any time at all. Happened to one of my wife’s friends a few years ago, her life was turned upside down for nothing.

Kids have gone missing since kids were invented.

Dutchboy wrote:

When in doubt ask yourself what your dad would have done if he was there.

My dad would have left us all in the car, with the window down and the doors open.

Spend a lot of time worrying about them. Thats what you signed up for when you decided to get their mom knocked up. Mine are 16 and 20 now and the worrying does not slow down at all. One can pray also.

pool2fool wrote:

<div class=”d4p-bbt-quote-title”>Mookie Blaylock wrote:</div>
Helmets at all times. Lined with tinfoil. Hockey pads if going outside.

I don’t believe there are more psychos on the prowl today than when I was a kid. We just have them very well defined now, and when one does strike the media coverage is so thorough that it creates a lot of panic. That’s just my opinion. I fear the wrath of the nanny state more than anything. Some folks with “mandatory reporter” status will take it upon themselves to report young kids left in cars for any time at all. Happened to one of my wife’s friends a few years ago, her life was turned upside down for nothing.

As a percentage I think you are probably right, but I think at a total level there is absolutely more psychos out there then when I grew up. It’s just like the citiot thread. The year I was born there were 240MM people in the US, there are now 323MM. Add 80MM people to the pie and every demographic is going to increase as a total level. Trace that back to when my parents grew up and it there was only 150MM in the US.

Unless we think the country is doing a better job treating people with mental instability or something today.

mplspug wrote:

There is a big difference between over protecting/coddling a child and being safe.

Although some of the actions overlap, it’s all in the delivery.

This is 100% true! I will say that our world is drastically different than when I was my kids’ age and honestly its scares me.
I don’t want to be overly protective of my kids and have them afraid their entire life about what goes on around them, but I honestly do NOT trust anyone anymore.
Just yesterday I had a guy coming to my home to measure for new siding, etc. We were to meet at 4:00. I was on my way and got there at 3:58. He was early, like 15 minutes.
Two of my kids were home already, 12 and 8 while my wife took the oldest back to the HS to get some work he had missed since he was out.
From 3:50 to 3:57 I received 7 phone calls and 5 texts. The contractor had arrived early and knocked on the door. I have always told the kids do not answer the door. This scared them even though I had told them the night before there would be someone coming over and I would be home by 4.
The contractor profusely apologized because he could hear my kids inside saying “don’t open the door”! to each other. LOL

Each parent has to have their comfort level with their kids. I will not tell someone else how to parent, but it sure is funny how many do not have trouble doing that. My wife was in a checkout aisle once with one of our kids who was about 3 and he wanted a treat and was kind of acting out. The lady behind her said “why don’t you give him a treat?”. My wife retorted, “exactly what would that be teaching him? If he acts out about not getting a treat and I give him one that is just rewarding him for poor behavior”.
Sometimes people just need to mind their own business.

philtickelson wrote:

<div class=”d4p-bbt-quote-title”>pool2fool wrote:</div>

<div class=”d4p-bbt-quote-title”>Mookie Blaylock wrote:</div>
Helmets at all times. Lined with tinfoil. Hockey pads if going outside.

I don’t believe there are more psychos on the prowl today than when I was a kid. We just have them very well defined now, and when one does strike the media coverage is so thorough that it creates a lot of panic. That’s just my opinion. I fear the wrath of the nanny state more than anything. Some folks with “mandatory reporter” status will take it upon themselves to report young kids left in cars for any time at all. Happened to one of my wife’s friends a few years ago, her life was turned upside down for nothing.

As a percentage I think you are probably right, but I think at a total level there is absolutely more psychos out there then when I grew up. It’s just like the citiot thread. The year I was born there were 240MM people in the US, there are now 323MM. Add 80MM people to the pie and every demographic is going to increase as a total level. Trace that back to when my parents grew up and it there was only 150MM in the US.

I was thinking more in terms of percentage of population, but I’d agree with you on simple numbers increasing.

walleyevision wrote:

Yikes! 2 and 4-year-olds left in a car. Too risky man. I understand they may be just outside the gas station, but there are too many sick twisted people in this world to risk it. A lot of times these people work together. What if they create a diversion in the store and you look away…boom, car window breaks, your babies are snatched before you know it and are driven to God knows where. I know it’s a pain in the ass to unload the kids and bring them inside, trust me I’ve been there. Not to be preachy, but it’s your responsibility to protect them. Just imagine what horrible things could happen to them the next time you leave them in the car. I’m not trying to be an ass, just trying to give you some perspective.

Not that it really matters, but I disagree. Let’s put on our foil hats and go down crazy lane:

I typically buy gas on free car-wash day, which means they make me go inside to pay and get the code on my receipt. At most, I am no more than 30ft and one door from my kids who are in plain sight, locked in a box and strapped down with 5pt harnesses. This means that a person would have to smash my window (not always as easy as it looks and immediately alerts everyone), pull the lock on an unfamiliar car, pull the handle to open the door, and unsnap two buckles to remove a screaming child (given how hard it is to get a non-freaking-out kids arms free from the damn straps, good luck doing that efficiently criminal). Then they either jump in a car driven by a helper, or they run to their car, toss my kid in and drive away. This is loud, obvious, and takes at least several seconds to complete, and I can more than likely cover 30ft before my kid is even unstrapped.

You are in the store or walking to/from the store with loose kids. Criminal grabs one and hops into the car his friend is driving – this happens in a split second. Maybe he waits until you are strapping one in and grabs the one waiting, or who walked around to his door. Even if he grabs and runs out to drive himself, there is a chance he still gets out and closes/locks his door leaving you to get a few punches on a car before he drives off. Or maybe you draw and what, shoot towards a person/car with your kid while panicked?

If I was creating a sophisticated plan to kidnap I would go for the loose kids as there is no way it is harder than ones that are locked up and strapped down. Granted both could work, but loose is way faster with far fewer things to go wrong.

Now loosen, but don’t remove crazy hat:

As someone mentioned, what is still a low probability event but still likely enough someone on this thread has probably witnessed it firsthand, is that someone wants to knock off the gas station for a few bucks. In this case you are bringing you kids to the exact spot that a person is about to commit a crime with a weapon. My kids are safer 30ft away, locked up and tied down in their box.

Is any of this gonna happen? Highly unlikely, but like all low probability events, it’s possible. Perhaps it is statistically insignificant, but I would definitely wager that my way is safer. Feel free to change my view.

TL;DR – Don’t listen to walleyvision: keep your kids tied up and locked in a box.

tindall wrote:

TL;DR – Don’t listen to walleyvision: keep your kids tied up and locked in a box.

How do I keep mine safe? Now that they are 2.5 and 4.5 I started hiding the ATV and golf cart keys

Some days you let out more kite string, some days you reel it back in a bit, but that kite must learn to fly high and proud.

I’ve decided (for now) to only let him stay in the truck if it’s a gas station and I maintain a line of sight the whole time. I was not comfortable with the Menards situation (even though I ran both ways and was in and out in 3 min) so I won’t do that again. But, the on the other side of that coin, there WILL be a day that changes, not sure if that will be age 10, 15, or (18 LOL).

But mainly I wanted to hear what you guys TELL your kids. I do want him to gain independence (he has a very independent nature) without overprotecting. I guess we have to each figure it out on our own, but was just hoping to hear some experiences from fellow Dad’s and maybe a few things to tell him about strangers without scaring him to death.

Even now he is starting to go to friends houses and events where I am not always present – so I just honestly don’t know if I should start talking to him about strangers and safety type stuff or if that will just cause unnecessary anxiety.

We have a 2.5 year old and we talk about this quite a bit – giving her the ability to learn and explore awhile keeping her safe but not locking her in her room. I think it’s a balance that will come down to common sense and situational awareness.

Funny story – when I was a kid we had pretty free reign of the neighborhood at a pretty young age. We had a ton of kids our age so we played from sunrise to sundown. There was a little creek behind the neighborhood that we would fish in all the time but my parents were adamant about lifejackets even though the creek was barely a trickle. The neighbor kids gave us a pretty hard time about it like kids do. So, one day we’re at school on the playground and it starts to rain. My buddy, Aaron, says something to the effect of “Hey Matt, it’s raining. Should you go home and get your lifejacket so you don’t drowned in a puddle.” We were in 5th grade and I still remember that burn to this day almost 30 years later.

trophy19 wrote:

Some days you let out more kite string, some days you reel it back in a bit, but that kite must learn to fly high and proud.

Great analogy

I don’t have any kids but this thread allowed me to go down memory lane a bit. Don’t remember a lot before my parents bought a house in 1972. I remember wandering off with the neighbor kid being unsupervised in the stairwell of the apartment building. I also have a vague memory of hopping in the backseat of unlocked cars in the parking lot. It was probably in 1971 which would have put me at the age of 3.

I also remember during the same era being left in the car at Zaire’s Shopper City in Columbia Heights. This event was memorable because there was a couple in the parking lot involved in a heated argument. The woman jumped in the car with tires squealing and tore out of the parking lot like a driving sequence in the Rockford Files leaving the guy standing there. That incident has stuck with me for 46 years.

First day of Kindergarten and riding the bus. No problem. Your 7-yr old sister will show you the ropes.

In elementary school I commonly missed a week or two of school due to strep throat. Probably 2nd-3rd grade. Mom and Dad went to work and my sister went to school. I stayed home alone. My mom would call a few times and take an hour or two to come home for lunch and then go back to work.

There’s also the whole thing of coming home from school into the empty house. I remember misplacing my key a few times. That of course meant you came home to an empty house you were locked out of. I do remember learning I could get thru the basement window/window well. This would have been the small 15″ windows and not an egress. At least it got you into the house. You of course would get into trouble for losing your key.

I also loved fishing. Not sure about age but maybe 6 or 7 yrs old. When we would visit the old family farm I only wanted to go down to the lake and fish from shore. At that age it may or may not have been supervised. I got hung up in some overhead branches. Climbed up into the tree to retrieve my hook and promptly fell into the lake. Must have been early in the year because I was wearing a snowmobile suit.

Sounds like times were a little different back then.