Quite the reality check this week and taking a moment to refocus on life. Getting sucked into the political sewer is so easy and the endless accusations of both truths and lies leaves us wondering what to really believe.
Well, I believe this. I’m almost 5 years of giving up my “normal” life to assist my father. The year prior, I did six months of care for my mother until her passing. I’ve blown my savings, exhausted the patience of my wife, passed 5 prime years of the best dog I could ever imagine having….and that list is about endless. Though I know that millions of people would kill for the opportunity I have to be by my mother and father’s side until their passing. To have all those conversations – as I recommend to so many people – Leave nothing unsaid. I’ve been blessed to have it all with my parents.
This week is the “big change” his blood pressure is averaging 72/46. For those that don’t know, when you have low pressure, your pulse rate will usually increase. When both remain low AND the patient is hot and sweaty, its a really bad sign that the final stage is here. With it comes dizziness, loss of coordination, paranoia, huge sense of a loss of control, irregular breathing and more. As a care giver the stress increases because of their loss of control, false accusations are made, and doubt in what your doing.
The nurse and social worker that comes each week had the talk with me. No surprises and I fully understand his death is coming. They have no crystal ball and can only compare his symptoms to others that endured the same fate. Likelihood is now within weeks, could be days, or could be a couple more months – only God knows. But the reality is setting in that these moments are VERY limited and its my last chance to do the best I can for him. Every ounce of patience is being tested. I’m finding strengths I didn’t know I had. Even going to his death, my father continues to teach me more.
I share this only because I know I’m not alone. There are others out there caring for a love one that is reaching deep to do what they can. Its not easy, but so rewarding. To all the others going through this journey, know that the unsaid gratitude is beyond the frustrations, heartache, and issues. Each moment is an opportunity for another memory. In the times of frustration and mental exhaustion, isolate that moment and and put it in perspective. They lose control of rational thinking and behavior and deep down find solace in your care and love. Best wishes to all that are going through this.
For others caught up in life’s struggles, please know you’re not alone.
