Good Fishing Jokes

  • Joshua
    Central, IA
    Posts: 33
    #1527895

    A coworker and I were talking and telling jokes. And I asked him if he new any good fishing jokes. He said “no”. Well I don’t have any good fishing jokes either. So I thought with the wealth of knowledge that is on this site, someone has some fishing jokes. If you are willing I would love to hear some! applause jester

    Sharon
    Moderator
    SE Metro
    Posts: 5455
    #1527903

    What did the fish say when it swam into a concrete wall?

    “Dam!” mrgreen

    JD Winston
    Inactive
    Chanhassen, MN
    Posts: 899
    #1527915

    Game warden: Didn’t you see the no-fishing sign, son?
    Boy: I’m not fishing, sir. I’m teaching these worms how to swim!

    Steve Root
    South St. Paul, MN
    Posts: 5623
    #1527916

    Two guys are fishing on Lake Miltona and one of them catches a huge 10 pound Walleye. They get the trophy in the boat and the fish looks up and says “If you release me, I’ll grant you a wish”. The first guy says “Great! I wish the whole lake was full of ice cold beer”. The Walleye says “Done!” and they put her back. The second guy says disgustedly “Well you sure messed that up. Now we have to urine in the boat!”

    Steve Root
    South St. Paul, MN
    Posts: 5623
    #1527917

    What’s the difference between a (money grubbing outdoor heritage stealing) Minnesota State Legislator and a Bullhead?

    One is slimy, has whiskers, and stinks.

    The other one is a fish.

    raynestorm
    Lake Wisconsin
    Posts: 59
    #1527927

    Older guy has been rumored to have been using dynamite to catch his fish. DNR are on to him, but need to catch him. One day, the warden spots him heading through the trees to a pond with a rod and tackle box. Warden smiles knowing he is about to catch him.

    He follows the guy to the pond and waits, but the guy is just staring at the water. So he decides to confront the older gentleman.

    He introduces himself and says that he knows he’s been using dynamite to fish, and that it’s illegal. The older guy acknowledges that it’s illegal, than says “hold on a second”. He reaches into his tackle box, and lights a stick of dynamite. Turns around and hands it to the warden, and says “Well, are you gonna stand there, or are you gonna fish?!”

    Joshua
    Central, IA
    Posts: 33
    #1527932

    Haha! these are pretty good! bow

    mnrabbit
    South Central Minnesota
    Posts: 815
    #1527936

    Somebody posted one on here awhile back about catching fish with a license, game warden shows up asks for a license, guy says he’s not fishing, just letting his pet fish swim, then releases them telling warden that he can call them back in… Pretty funny one, I’d love to see it posted again if anybody knows it!

    rwilliam
    St.Paul, Mn
    Posts: 291
    #1527961

    Four guys have been going on the same fishing trip for many years. Two days before the group is to leave, Bill’s’s wife puts her foot down and tells him he isn’t going.
    Bill’s mates are very upset that he can’t go, but what can they do. Two days later the three mates get to the camping site only to find Bill sitting there with a tent set up, firewood gathered, and dinner cooking on the fire.
    “poop Bill, how long you been here? How did you talk your missus into letting you go?”
    “Well, I’ve been here since last night. After dinner at home yesterday evening, I was sitting in my chair and my wife came up behind me and put her hands over my eyes and said, ‘Guess who?’
    I pulled her hands off, and she was wearing sexy brand new lingerie. She said she had been reading ‘Fifty Shades of Grey’ and she had a devilish look in her eyes!!!
    She took my hand and led me to our bedroom. The room had candles and rose petals all over.
    On the bed she had handcuffs, and ropes!
    She told me to tie her up and cuff her to the bed, so I did.
    And then she said, ‘Do whatever you want.’
    So . . . . here I am!”

    Buzz
    Minneapolis MN
    Posts: 1814
    #1527966

    Ever ice fish? Ever fish with corn? Well, next time try Del Monte mixed vegetables. Just sprinkle them around the hole – and when a fish comes up to take a pea…; net it!

    Buzz
    Minneapolis MN
    Posts: 1814
    #1527967

    A Priest and a Monsignor are fishing with a guide up in Canada, the Monsignor catches a huge fish. As the Guide nets it, he remarks that it is the biggest son of a B!tch he has ever seen. The Priest immediately scolds the Guide about using that type of language in front of the Monsignor. But the Guide tells them,that is the proper name of that particular fish – at least in that area.

    The following fall, they are having dinner at the Parish house and invited a new young novice to join them, After dinner they are finishing dessert and the Priest says, “that was the best Son of A B!tch he has ever eaten”. The Monsignor says ” I agree that Son of A B!tch was delicious”. The Novice takes this all in and remarks “I think I had you both wrong- I’m really going to enjoy working with you two A**Holes”!

    Eelpoutguy
    Farmington, Outing
    Posts: 10426
    #1527977

    I went fishing up to Mille Lacs. AND caught a fish!

    IceAsylum
    Wisconsin Dells WI
    Posts: 956
    #1528107

    BK thinks walleyes are the only thing worth fishing for. rotflol

    thebigfishman
    Apple Valley, MN
    Posts: 264
    #1528117

    Three blondes are down at the river casting there lines out when a conservation officer shows up and asks them all for there fishing license, they tell him they don’t have one and they aren’t fishing they are casting magnets out to clean junk off the bottom of the river, he doesn’t believe them so he has them reel there lines in. Sure enough they have magnets on the end of there lines so he let’s them be and leaves. Soon after one blonde tells the others he must not know there’s (steel)head salmon in here.

    ritz9876
    Maple Grove, MN
    Posts: 42
    #1528164

    Not a joke per se, just a funny pic.

    Attachments:
    1. Opie.jpg

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