60 above: New Jerseyites try to turn on the heat.
People in Minnesota plant gardens
50 above: Floridians shiver uncontrollably
People in Minnesota sunbathe
40 above: Italian & English cars won’t start
People in Minnesota drive with the windows down
32 above: Distilled water freezes
Lake Superior’s water gets thicker
20 above: Floridians don coats,thermal underwear,gloves and woolly hats.
People in Minnesota throw on a flannel shirt
15 above: Philadelphia landlords finally turn on the heat.
People in Minnesota have the last cookout before it gets cold.
0: People in Miami all die
Minnesota kids lick flagpoles
20 below: Californians fly away to Mexico
People in Minnesota get out their winter coats.
40 below: Hollywood disintegrates
The Girl Scouts in Minnesota are selling cookies door to door
60 below: Polar bears begin to evacuate the Artic
Minnesota Boy Scouts postpone “Winter Survival” classes until it gets cold enough.
80 below: Mt St Helens freezes.
People in Minnesota rent some videos.
100 below: Santa Claus abandons the North Pole
Minnesotans get frustrated because they cant thaw the keg in the fish house.
297 below: Microbial life no longer survives on dairy products.
Cows in Minnesota complain about farmers with cold hands.
460 below: All atomic motion stops(absolute zero on the Kelvin scale)
People in Minnesota start saying “cold’nuff for ya?”
500 below: Hell freezes over.
The Vikings win the Super Bowl!!!!
