Thur. Funny –

  • fishthumper
    Sartell, MN.
    Posts: 11923
    February 3, 2011 at 3:34 pm #1270627

    Are you a Democrat, a Republican, or a Southerner?

    Here is a little test that will help you decide.

    The answer can be found by posing the following question:

    You’re walking down a
    deserted street with your wife
    and two small children.

    Suddenly, a Terrorist with a huge knife
    comes around the corner,
    locks eyes with you,
    screams obscenities,
    raises the knife, and charges at you…

    You are carrying a
    Kimber 1911 cal. 45 ACP, and you are an expert shot.
    You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family.
    What do you do?

    THINK CAREFULLY AND
    THEN SCROLL DOWN:

    Democrat’s Answer:

    • Well, that’s not enough information to answer the question!

    • What is a Kimber 1911 cal. 45 ACP?

    • Does the man look poor or oppressed?

    • Is he really a terrorist? Am I guilty of profiling?

    • Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack?

    • Could we run away?

    • What does my wife think?

    • What about the kids?

    • Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the
    knife out of his hand?

    • What does the law say about this situation?

    • Does the pistol have appropriate safety built into it?

    • Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of
    message does this send to society and to my children?

    • Is it possible he’d be happy with just killing me?

    • Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be content
    just to wound me?

    • If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get
    away while he was stabbing me?

    • Should I call 9-1-1?

    • Why is this street so deserted?

    • We need to raise taxes, have paint & weed day.

    • Can we make this a happier, healthier street that would
    discourage such behavior.

    • I need to debate this with some friends for a few days and
    try to come to a consensus.

    • This is all so confusing!

    ……….. ……… ……… ……… …….. ……… ………
    ……… ..

    Republican’s Answer:

    BANG!

    ………… …….. ……… ……… ……… ……… ……… …..

    Southerner’s Answer:

    BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!
    BANG ! BANG! BANG! BANG!
    Click….. (Sounds of reloading)
    BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!
    Click
    Daughter: ‘Nice grouping, Daddy!’
    ‘Were those the Winchester Silver Tips or Hollow Points?! ‘
    Son: ‘Can I shoot the next one?!’
    Wife: ‘You ain’t taking that to the Taxidermist!

    hangartner
    fayette,iowa
    Posts: 171
    February 3, 2011 at 4:31 pm #933316

    That’s not a joke, it’s the way it is.

    flatfish
    Rochester, MN
    Posts: 2105
    February 3, 2011 at 6:22 pm #933365


    That 1911 Kimber is nice, but can I use my .45 Para Warthog?

    mplspug
    Palmetto, Florida
    Posts: 25026
    February 3, 2011 at 6:26 pm #933370

    I don’t get it? That has no mention of Packers in it.

    sodak
    Andover, MN
    Posts: 133
    February 3, 2011 at 6:50 pm #933385

    spazman
    Hampton, IA
    Posts: 11
    February 3, 2011 at 8:01 pm #933416

    classsic

    fishthumper
    Sartell, MN.
    Posts: 11923
    February 3, 2011 at 9:25 pm #933452

    Quote:


    That 1911 Kimber is nice, but can I use my .45 Para Warthog?

    That warthog will get the job done just fine!!!!

    bassn7
    Bruce,WI
    Posts: 776
    February 4, 2011 at 5:17 am #933590

    BANG Essex1911

    Paulski
    “Ever Wonder Why There Are No Democrats On Mount Rushmore ? "
    Posts: 1194
    February 4, 2011 at 1:10 pm #933663

    You forgot to mention whether he was was here legally if you are a democrat, oh yea, never mind, I live in MN, the land where immigration laws are not enforced and felons can vote….

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