***Friday Funny*** calling all IDO poets

THESE ARE ENTRIES TO A WASHINGTON POST COMPETITION
ASKING FOR A TWO-LINE RHYME
WITH THE MOST ROMANTIC FIRST LINE,
AND THE LEAST ROMANTIC SECOND LINE:

1. My darling, my lover, my beautiful wife:
Marrying you has screwed up my life.

2. I see your face when I am dreaming.
That’s why I always wake up screaming.

3. Kind, intelligent, loving and hot;
This describes everything you are not.

4. Love may be beautiful, love may be bliss,
But I only slept with you ’cause I was pissed.

5. I thought that I could love no other
— that is until I met your brother.

6. Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet, and so are you.
But the roses are wilting, the violets are dead, the sugar bowl’s
empty and so is your head.

7. I want to feel your sweet embrace;
But don’t take that paper bag off your face.

8. I love your smile, your face, and your eyes
Damn, I’m good at telling lies!

9. My love, you take my breath away.
What have you stepped in to smell this way?

10. My feelings for you no words can tell,
Except for maybe ‘Go to hell.’

11. What inspired this amorous rhyme?
Two parts vodka, one part lime.

Bret “IDO’s Official Lyrical Wordsmith” Clark should be able to come up with #12 in no time.

I promised you my life, my love and my time

But all you have taken is my money and my mind.

or

In addition to that you took my money and my mind.

lol

I hope this helps

I met you this spring and loved you all summer,
Your unexpected pregnancy was really a bummer.

-J.

Quote:

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I met you this spring and loved you all summer,
Your unexpected pregnancy was really a bummer.

-J.

---

oh that’s just plain cold,,,,,,,,

I’m a little slow in this summer heat,
There is a big need for ice under my feet!

Walleyes are Great
Bass the Best
But Catfish my son
will put you to the test

My darlin’, I love you with all of my heart,
But please stand back, your breath smells like a fart.

I fell in love with you even though you had a cat,
but it all came to an end when you got so fat!

Last night we met you looked so fine
This morning I see I drank too much wine

I love you because you are so very hot!
What a shock to sober up and find you are not!

***Bonus points to anyone who can incorporate the word vuvuzela

My lovely bride with the voice of a vuvuzela
It’s time for us to part knowing you cheated with another fella

Be it rich or poor I swore to love you like no other
But darling were broke from feeding your Mother.

I saw them blow their vuvuzela
Now all I can think about is LuLu and Sheila

Quote:

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Be it rich or poor I swore to love you like no other
But darling were broke from feeding your Mother.

---

I swore I’d love you like no other
That was until I met your mother

I could search the world over for love and never find…….
A poorer example of love than your’s and mine.

Your hair, your mouth, your teeth, your eyes.
Four of the reasons I now sleep with guys.

All the folks in town always said you was a looker.
What they failed to mention was you were also a hooker.

The feelings of love I have for you run the gamut;
but lately they all seem to be please go away dammit.

dd

she’s large she’s round with wiskers from hell,
A fish or a women its hard to tell
she comes from a murky place down deep,
not the kind you want to keep
but with marriadge it comes along with the deal
My wife loves her Mom so lets keep it real
Some people say she’s a sweet southern bell.

Quote:

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***Bonus points to anyone who can incorporate the word vuvuzela

---

When I’m with you it’s all roses and wine,
but as for that vuvuzela, put it where the sun don’t shine

When I told you I fished, hunted and trapped; you smiled and said your good with that…
You figured out how much I spent and the devorce left me with only this worn out IDO fishing hat

If my wife reads this – I love you and I didn’t really spend that much

I think it’a a major violation to post this thread and ask others to come up with more and not post your own…. Post one up birthday boy

Your body incredible, your voice so sweet
But that face reminds me of ground meat

I sent some good ones via PM, but since this is a family friendly sight, I dont think I can post them here.