**A Trip To Walmart**

  • Pat Howard
    Sparta Wi
    Posts: 1523
    #1266327

    A TRIP TO WALMART

    Yesterday I was at my local Walmart buying a large bag of Purina dog chow for my loyal pet Jake, the Wonder Dog and was in the checkout line when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog.

    What did she think I had, an elephant? So since I’m retired and have little to do, on impulse I told her that no, I didn’t have a dog, I was starting the Purina Diet again. I added that I probably shouldn’t, because I ended up in the hospital last time, but that I’d lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.

    I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so it works well and I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in line was now enthralled with my story.) Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me. I told her no, I stepped off a curb to sniff a poodle’s

    and a car hit me.

    I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard.

    Walmart won’t let me shop there anymore.

    Better watch what you ask retired people. They have all the time in the world to think of crazy things to say..

    deertracker
    Posts: 9163
    #846915

    My 2 year old tries to sneak the dog food every once in awhile. It can’t be too bad. Those beggin strips look pretty tasty.
    DT

    dea
    Hixton, WI
    Posts: 457
    #846920

    Thank you so much for my laugh of the day. Loved it!

    rick-robinson
    Dundee, Iowa
    Posts: 183
    #846926

    Those Beggin strips are NASTY. Don’t ask me how I know….

    wmahnke
    Eau Claire, WI
    Posts: 100
    #846929


    You just made my friday that much better

    buck-slayer
    Posts: 1499
    #846930

    Wish I could have been there. LOL

    marbleyes
    Holmen, WI
    Posts: 302
    #846938

    Nice one Gut.

    WAT
    AUSTIN MN Cass Lake
    Posts: 130
    #846959

    The best one all day.

    hairjig
    Cudahy, Wis.
    Posts: 937
    #847026

    GUT, That one rocks……………..

    sgt._rock
    Rochester, MN
    Posts: 2517
    #847107

    My niece in Colorado sent pic of her 8 month old in the dog dish having a snack. Ahhh kids.

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