Greatest Movie Lines Ever…

Hows your wife and my kids? – major league

“A PERSON is smart; PEOPLE are dumb, panicky animals.”

Men in Black

Cool Hand Luke….

“What we have here, is a failure to communicate”

The Shining, when Jack Nichols chops the hole in the door..

“Heeerrrreeessss Johnny!”

Wedding Crashers

“you know I don’t look good in these pants”

“you motorboating S.O.B you”

“got a code 5 clinger here”

Tombstone

” Chr_st, it’s like playing cards with my brothers kids,you nerve racking Son’s of B__tche’s

“go ahead skin it skin that smoke wagon and see what happens”
“I said throw down boy”

“I ain’t your kid and you can sorry and shove it up your “

some one stop meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

all time best it my signature

All my favorites get censored…

Who said that? Who the [censored] said that? Who’s the slimy little communist [censored], twinkle-toed corcksucker down here who just signed his own death warrant? Nobody, huh? The fairy [censored] godmother said it. Out-[censored]-standing. I will PT you all until you [censored] die. I’ll PT you until your azzholes are sucking buttermilk.

Lets just say my favorite movie of all time is FULL METAL JACKET.

Was it you? you mangy little [censored] . I bet it was you! You look like the type of guy who would [censored] a guy in the and not even have the God Dam common courtesy to give him a reach around!! I’ll be watching you!!

FULL METAL JACKET–Also one of my favorites of ALL TIME!!

Ron White Blue Collar Comedey tour.

Passenger: How far do you think this engine will take us??

Ron: All the way to the scene of the crash, I bet we beat the ambulence there by 15 minutes.

“No thanks, you jerk off the dog…he follows me around too much as it is.”

Another Ron White gem

John Candy in Planes Trains & Automobiles after running a car between two semis & tearing up both sides “No problem…they can buff that out!”

Mae West had a couple of real good ones. I don’t know the names of the movies, but they were:

1.) “When I’m good…I’m good, but when I’m bad….I’m even better!”

and

2.) “Is that a banana in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?”

“Gentlemen. You can’t fight in here. This is the War Room!”
Dr Strangelove.

“I don’t know why they call it ‘Hamburger Helper’ I think it does just fine all by itself.” Randy Quaid in Vacation.

dd

Quote:

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“I don’t know why they call it ‘Hamburger Helper’ I think it does just fine all by itself.” Randy Quaid in Vacation.

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Almost any line in Vacation or Christmas Vacation. Two funny movies.

Ron

“7 years of college down the drain! Might as well join the ****ing Peace Corps!” Bluto Blutarsky in Animal House

dd

Quote:

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All my favorites get censored…

Who said that? Who the [censored] said that? Who’s the slimy little communist [censored], twinkle-toed corcksucker down here who just signed his own death warrant? Nobody, huh? The fairy [censored] godmother said it. Out-[censored]-standing. I will PT you all until you [censored] die. I’ll PT you until your azzholes are sucking buttermilk.

Lets just say my favorite movie of all time is FULL METAL JACKET.

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I have a buddy who is a firefighter at Minot AFB… when they play that movie in the dayroom “The first 20 minutes of FMJ will be playing in the dayroom”… Also the guy who played the drill sgt has his own show and my buddies got a picture with him…

Good quote… “Id take pleasure in guttting you boyyy” The Rock…

I just coudn’t hold out any longer.

“Fat Guy in a Little Coat”
“Pretty girl down there, Hey maybe she dates on of the Yankees”

Tommy Boy

Golfers have fat a##es and stupid pants. If I saw myself wearing clothes like that, I would have to kick my own [censored].

Happy Gilmore

What did that Crazy Mexican mean, a dead horse?
He was quoting the bible, Revelations, behold the pale horse, the man who sits on it is death, and he!! follows with him.

Tombstone

What are you guys doing.
Foiling up coach, ya want some?

Slapshot

After Bluto smashes the guys guitar.
Sorry”

Animal House

I eat a half pound of bacon for breakfast, a half pound for lunch, and I usually drink my dinner. Im 95 years old, sometimes I think God just forgot about me.

Did you lay her?

Grumpy old men.

Thats all I got for now. Guess I should problably do that whole “work” thing now.

Stich Jones: “When I joined the Marine Corps, I thought I’d be jumpin’ our of airplanes and fighting the enemy.

Collins: “The only thing we doin’ is jumpin’ out of our heads!”

My favorite movie-Heartbreak Ridge

I don’t know if this was said or not but this is one of my favorite ones.

Some thing on your mind mister.
Just letting you now your in my chair.
Is that a fact.
Yep, thats a fact.
You kind of run your mouth ragged for some one who don’t go heeled.
No need to go heeled the get the jump on a bulge like you
Is that a fact.
Yep, thats a fact.
Well I’m real scared.
Damn right you’re scared, I can see that in your eyes.
Jerk that smoke wagon and go to work.
I said thrown down boy.
You going to do something or just stand there and bleed. Didn’t think so, Here you go Milt, a keep sake. Hang it over your bar. All right out you go youngster. And don’t come back, ever. TOMBSTONE best movie ever.

“You’re a daisy if you do”.

“I’m your huckleberry.”

“My hypocrisy only goes so far.”

“If we couldn’t be friends, I just don’t think I could take it.”

“Why Jonny Ringo, you looked like a ghost just walked over your grave.”

“what’s his problem?”

“Lunger.”

“Well, I hope you die”

Yep, Tombstone is an all time best!!!!!

christmas vacation

clark, ” you can’t even see a line there, can you russ ?”

russ, “no dad, i can’t”

another one,
ruby sue” sometimes i think all that santy claus stuff is a bunch of bull, we were good all last year and we still got the shaft” and “sorry, shittin rocks” that whole movie cracks me up !!!

Well I’ll be damned.
You may indeed…if you get lucky.

Why Johnny Tyler……Where you going with that shot gun Johnny.

Why Kate….you’re not wearing a bussel. How dode.

God damn it Junior, get that damn cigar out of my face. Christ almighty, its like I’m playing cards with my borthers kids or something. You nerve racking sons-a-bitches.

Another one from Tombstone.
“You remind me of….me. Yep, now I know I hate you.”

“You and your boys brought down the thunder now you tell them that I am coming for them..and I’m bringing hell with me.”

“Wasn’t Me” – from Rocketman!

From “Remember The Titans”

“I dont scratch my head unless it itches,i dont dance unless i hear some music, i wont be intimadated, thats just the way it is”
hope fully i spelt that all right.

From the South Park Movie when the Boys are cursing in class.

Cartman” you cant say that you f****** jew”
Mr. Garrison”Eric Did you just say the f word?!!!!!”
cartman”what jew?”
Mr.Garrison”how would you like to go to the principals office?”
cartman”how would you like to suck my balls?”
Mr.Garrison”WHAT DID YOU SAY?!!!”
cartman”oh,oh im sorry, what i meant was HOW WOULD YOU LIKE TO SUCK MY BALLS MR.GARRISON”

sorry if that offended anyone here. let me know if it does and ill delete it right away.

“What do you need legs for you dont do a lick of work!”

“I might want to kick a pig sometime.”

Lonesome Dove

“Get busy liven or get busy dyin.”

Shawshank Redemption

I will crush you…. The Russian in Rocky.

“This ain’t Dodge City and you ain’t Bill Hickock.”

Bang Bang.

Both bad guys are shot down

“I never said I wasn’t any good with a pistol, I just never had much use for them”

Quigley Downunder

Marlon Brando making his “confession” in “The Appalossa”.

“I killed a lot of men and sinned with a lot of women but the men needed killin and the women wanted sinnin”

” You sure got a purdy mouth now aint ya!”

Deliverance

“You win wars by making the other poor sunofabitch die for his country!”

Patton

I like Clint Eastwood lines. Here’s a couple…

Dyin’ ain’t much of a livin’ boy.

Are you gonna pull them pistols or whistle Dixie?