WALMART HAS EVERYTHING

  • mrwalleye
    MN
    Posts: 974
    #1262732

    WALMART HAS EVERYTHING
    One day, in line at the company cafeteria, Joe says to Sam behind him, ‘My elbow hurts like heck. I guess I’d better see a doctor..’

    Listen, you don’t have to spend that kind of money,’ Sam replies.

    ‘There’s a diagnostic computer down at Wal-Mart . Just give it a urine sample and the computer will tell you what’s wrong and what to do about it.. It takes ten seconds and costs ten dollars . . . A lot cheaper than a doctor ‘

    So, Joe deposits a urine sample in a small jar and takes it to Wal-Mart.

    He deposits ten dollars and the computer lights up and asks for the urine sample. He pours the sample into the slot and waits.

    Ten seconds later, the computer ejects a printout:

    ‘You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water and avoid heavy activity It will improve in two weeks. Thank you for shopping @ Wal-Mart.’

    That evening, while thinking how amazing this new technology was, Joe began wondering if the computer could be fooled.

    He mixed some tap water, a stool sample from his dog, urine samples from his wife and daughter, and a sperm sample for good measure.

    Joe hurries back to Wal-Mart, eager to check the results. He deposits ten dollars, pours in his concoction, and awaits the results.

    The computer prints the following:

    1=2 0Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener. (Aisle 9)

    2. Your dog has ringworm. Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo.. (Aisle 7)

    3. Your daughter has a cocaine habit. Get her into rehab.

    4. Your wife is pregnant.. Twins. They aren’t yours. Get a lawyer.

    5 . If you don’t stop playing with yourself, your elbow will never get better!

    Thank you for shopping @ Wal-Mart

    scrrcs
    Jefferson,Wisconsin
    Posts: 9
    #772989

    Sharon
    Moderator
    SE Metro
    Posts: 5443
    #773009

    Ahh ha ha ha! I thought this was really going to be about something you found at Wal-Mart!

    adam dungan
    Two Harbors
    Posts: 53
    #773014

    Quote:


    Ahh ha ha ha! I thought this was really going to be about something you found at Wal-Mart!


    Got me too.

    shew
    East Bethel, Minnesota
    Posts: 696
    #773150

    Thank you I have not heard a funny joke in a long time.

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