The Right Choice?

As most of you know i left the farm in Allamakee Iowa and took a job in Waterloo. It was a big pay increase. But to be honest im not happy or not use to this yet. It was a major decison in my life to do this and move my family.The kids are adjusting well to school and the wife got a great job.My thoughts are was it worth it? Did i Do the right thing? Im sorry to vent and usally dont. To be honest i miss it back in N.E. Iowa. Has any of you made a major change and if so do you ever really get over it. I was trying to do best for my family. An I always will do what i think is best. Just alittle stressed. I will get threw it.

Relocating is a tough thing to do. Add in that you went from being your own boss on the farm to now working for others! Not an easy thing.

Use the winter months to plan fun summer events for you and your family. It will help pass the time and give everyone something to look forward to. Don’t forget yourself also. You need to join some club, fishing or maybe hunting if that’s where your interest lie. Get out meet new people with common interests as yours. Get away from the work people. Once you start to find some interests the time will pass faster and leaving the past will become a fond thought that you have in your rocking chair.

I think you just have to much free time on your hands and you are thinking to much.

Your right. I worked for the county up there also. I do alot of hunting and fishing just miss the country i guess. Its kinda diffrent having a house on each side of me.Insted of woods and fields. Thanks for your insight. Thats why this sight is great.

Tony, I did the same thing. I moved from small town USA to the big city. I spent 6 years in the big city, then moved back to small town USA. I now live in a house outside of St Cloud and am finally probably where I will live out my years. You probably have a few more moves in ya, you will end up where you want to be

big G

Tony,

9 years ago this month I moved from 25k people to 3M +. It took me a long time just to adjust to the traffic. I hated that I wasn’t 5 minutes from the best waterfowl hunting in the US. It was really hard. Slowly, I met more and more friends(Thanks James!!). I’m now pretty well adjusted(as good as any SD kid could be I think).

All that said, my family and I are now looking to move “home”. Was moving here the right decision? Absolutely!!! It furthered my career. Gave me a taste for something many of my friends will never experience. Met a ton of great people who I hope will be friends for life no matter where I live. My wife got experience she wouldn’t have got in 20 years in SD. It was probably the best decision we ever made.

I only regret that I will be leaving some awesome friends behind when/if I move back.

Give it time.

Here is something funny you should of seen the new neighbors when we pulled up with 4 van loads of mounts. Yea thats right a red neck in the hood, the look on there face was priceless .

Now park an old truck out back on blocks and your good to go !!! It’ll fell just like home

big G

Tony – you should join our local wlleye club?? 3 tourney’s on the river this year???? Doug

Tony,

In 1982, I moved from a town of 700 people to a city of 150k. I left being a few miles from all the ducks I could hunt, to all the ducks I could look at. I became educated, and worked my tail off, until 2007. In 2007, I moved to the outskirts of a small community.

At this point, I have made the decision that I will move to an even more rural environment than I am today. Ok, it will be 5 years, but I have a plan.

If I hadn’t of made that move in ’82, I wouldn’t be here today, with a plan, and the where-with-all for the future.

A few years down the road, I will be reporting on the sauger bite on the Kaskaskia river, and the crappie bite on Rend Lake, in southern Illinois. Until that time, I will do what I have to, to get there.

I think about that often and its been almost 20 years. My wife is a triplet, and I gave up self-employment for working for someone. To many, that may not sound like much, until you understand how it affects you.

My wife has friends. She’s not a total loner by any means. But there is a different type of bond with multiple birth kids. Being natural triplets in a time before fertility drugs, was very rare. So the media sticks their nose in, people in general treat them differently, and that stigma continues well after your out of school. Imagine being out for an aniverseary dinner, and the waitress asks if you are the triplet…and follows up with “where’s your sisters?” Sounds awefully stupid, but you can’t imagine how often that happens. The sisters are somewhat shy, and retreat to being a very tight group of friends.

On my side of things, I had the freedom to plan my days and weeks according to the weather. I could trap, fish, or hunt at any given time. I scheduled work around my activities and did very well. I also had no one to answer to other than myself. If I made a mistake, I made it right. Self employment is not an easy task – just ask anyone who makes a living doing it! But I had life so care free for the most part.

Along came the day when I realized I met the woman of my dreams and would soon be maried. I knew the city we were in was no place I would ever raise a family. Long story short, I wanted a way of life for my kids that gave them all the advantages I could possibly give them. In that city, I think they would have been doomed to drugs, getting pregnant, or even worse…

So I made the descision to move and take a job. I went from 35K/year to $8.00/hour. Lived in crap hole rented farm house, and started life all over again. I did well in establishing myself with the needed things. Good home, well paying job, great enviroment for my two daughters, and a few good friends. But, not a day goes by that I wonder if my wife would have been happier living near her sisters or if I should have stayed closer to my friends and family. Then, I take a look at my kids while out running a trap line or fishing after work and know I am giving them the skills to do anything. Its tough at times and no one wrote the perfect manual for being a husband and father. We can all look back and wonder, but every day I get better at looking forward! Hang in there and talk with your wife. Communication is so important when you feel stress.

Just part of the journey you are on Tony.That is the beauty of “home”,it will always be there if and when you need to go back.

Its the simple things I miss like going out side in the morning and hear a turkey gobble.Or driving down the road and seeing deer in some of the places i hunt.shooting the 22 with the kids an archery in my back yard.Or the river 4 miles from my house. I belive i made the right choice and dont think i will ever get over moving. Thanks for all your insight. Like Dean said “Home” will always be there and i do belive one needs to go back once in awhile.

Tony,My take on this is differnt than most that have replied to you.
Having grown up in Waterloo and moving to Mn. at 27 I know it was the best thing I could have done.The first few years I missed home and my family alot.But going back for visits,I came to the understanding that Waterloo might not be the rump of the world but you can smell it from there.
Most of the people I grew up with live in the smaller towns,or the country and commmute to work in Waterloo.
I guess if your not happy you should talk to your wife and kids and make a plan on getting out of there if they aggree.
Beat of luck to you in what ever you do.

Its entirely possible to get over. Different for everyone I guess. When I moved to Minnesota I felt like I was living on an Island. I knew nobody. Many of my weekends were spent drving back to Michigan to be “home”. Now Minnesota is my home and I haven’t longed for Michigan in many many years. I’m an outdoorsman first and foremost so it was an easy acclimation. Not sure how Waterloo rates with outdoor things to do. My advice is to look for fun in the area. Fun with the outdoors, places to go, family. If you are still miserable in a couple years you have a problem.

I understand where you are coming from… when my husband went into the Army. We moved from a WI town of 300 people to Washington DC. Talk about culture shock!
The way we handled it, we planned vacations in the blue ridge mountains of Virginia. It reminded us so much of home. The peace and quiet was great after the rat race of the city. The people on here have good suggestions: get out, meet people with your interests, and plan your summer vacations.
We ended up moving back after ten years. We just never settled into city living.

I agree with Stuart. No need to live in Waterloo. Why not just move to Cedar Falls, its much nicer. Just kidding, I have lived in both. If you decide to stay for a year or more maybe you could find a nice plot of land to build out of town. If you still hate it after a year or so then its time to leave. I grew up a little over 2 hours from Lansing and always thought it would be great to be close to the river. Maybe Waterloo will grow on you after a while.

There are lots of local outdoorsmen in the area, and this site is great for meeting people. Its an hour and a half from the Mississippi. Good luck and I hope it gets better for you. It’s always hard to think positive in Feburary. I am trying to convince my wife to move to Redwing. I am sure it would be hard for me, maybe not me, but hard for her to adjust.

Tony,
When you compare country life with City, there must be SOME things you DONT miss. I also lived on a farm, and loved it, but the commute to any gainfull employment was 45 mnts one way. Then, goods and services were also out of reach. Sure, that made you plan your trips well, but it sure is nice to be able to just run down to the local store without it being an exscursion. And you did it for your family. I have extensive family scattered throuought Iowa. Thier livelyhoods are all ag-related, and they are all hurting. My cousin hanged himself during the 80’s farm crisis, I think he took the “get big or get out” mantra a little too literal. Others are barely getting by. If it wasnt for inherited land they are on, they wouldnt make it. There is NO future for youngens in that environment. Since they have taken the CULTURE out of agriculture, and the AG is now missing from the culture, whats left? You can always go back. But for now, take what the city has to offer. Get your kids educated, and socialized with others. One thing I learned was that now that I am a city slicker, I appreciate the outdoors more. I am now more active in conservation efforts than I was when I was a country boy. Time outdoors, in a countrysetting is now worth as much as a pay check!! I take what they have to offer in the City, but still realize the best part of living here is leaving for the weekend!!!
It does take some getting used to though. Here are some tips to adjust: Red one piece long johns are NOT fashionable. Carhart wannabe workwear is IN. If you havent found out already….you can no longer shoot dinner from the front porch. The Police take that very seriously. If you want to blend in NEVER carry anything in the bed of your pickup. Those are waxwagons, and no longer used to haul anything except groceries. And….they made me get rid of my Rooster, but I found out, I can have hens within the city limits!!! But seriously…you can take the boy from the farm, but you cant take the farm from the boy. My Dad of 76 years old left the farm for Korea. He came back, moved to the city to attend college. He got a job in industry, and through the years, raised 7 kids. Two went to med school, and 2 own thier own businness’s
In contrast, his brother stayed on the farm in Iowa. He died in his 50’s, literally worked himself to death. Some would say, the product of farm life is its people. It sure was a humble way to make a living, but those days are gone.
Your experience made you what you are. Your kids are now within reach of an experience they wouldnt have had before. Now its up to you to teach them BOTH. In the process, it will make you a whole person. Good Luck to you!

Thanks Guy’s .I will make it and be alright. Just need to adjust.Its probably the long winter and yes alittle time on my hands to think. Thank you IDO, I know i will adapt. This site helps .