As I was waiting to load my groceries on to the checkout conveyor , a drunk standing ahead of me was intently watching the lady in front of him as she placed these items in front of the cashier.
* half-gallon of 2% milk,
* carton of eggs,
* quart of orange juice,
* head of romaine lettuce,
* 2 lb. Can of coffee, and
* 1 lb. Package of bacon.
While the cashier was ringing up the purchases, the drunk calmly stated, ‘You must be single.’
The lady was a bit startled by this proclamation, but was intrigued by the derelict’s intuition, as she was indeed single. She looked at the six items on the belt and saw nothing particularly unusual about her selections that could have tipped him off as to her marital status. Curiosity getting the better of her, she said: ‘Well, you know what, you’re absolutely right. But how on earth did you know that?’
The drunk replied, ‘Cause you’re ugly.’ 