Best Movie Line Quotes

Glen Gary Glen Ross- Alex Baldwin during his sales pep talk speech.

“Who am I?” I drove a $80,000 BMW to get here, you drove a Hyundai, thats who the hell I am”.

“Well Woodrow,its been a hell of a party” Gus McCrae on his deathbed-Lonesome Dove.

Oh geez…don’t get me started! My head is filled with stupid movie quotes. Here are a couple of my favorites.

“Surely you can’t be serious.” “I am serious, and don’t call me Shirley.” Leslie Nielsen from Airplane.

“Gee you’re real nice. If I didn’t have puke breath, I’d kiss you.” Rick Moranis as one of the Mackenzie brothers from Strange Brew

“They had to replace the metal plate in my head with a plastic one, cuz every time Kathryn would fire up the microwave, I’d urine my pants and forget who I was for a half hour or so.” Randy Quaid from Christmas Vacation.

“Is this Heaven?” “No, It’s Iowa…”
I still laugh every time I hear that line!
Field of Dreams

My neighbor hte accountant, problably a great golfer, huge Azz. Happy Gilmore

So I said to Hollywood where de go, and Hollywood says, “whered who go”. Top Gun

What are you doing, “Making it look mean” Bus driver in Slap Shot

“so you say I have a chance” Jim Kary, Dumb and dumber.

Rodney in Caddyshack. Takes one look at Spaulding and says, “nice kid, now I know why tigers eat their young”

And a few minutes later he has Ted Knight’s wife on the dance floor and asks her, “hey baby want to make 13 dollars the hard way?”

Great movie, I could go on and on! In fact a local radio station one night had their favorite line from Caddyshack and people had to call in a guess what it was. Holy cow was there a lot of great ones brought up.

“Heyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy Youuuuuuuuuuuu Guyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyysss” -Sloth in Goonies.

Regarding the rule of thumb. “Well, you couldn’t do much damage with that, perhaps it should have been called the rule of wrist” -Boondock Saints This is a little known movie but if you have a chance, watch it.

Another from Caddyshack:

Al Czervik: Hey, doll. Could you scare up another round for our table over here? And tell the cook this is low grade dog food. I’ve had better food at the ballgame, you know? This steak still has marks from where the jockey was hitting it.

I’m gonna come at you like a spider monkey…Chip

Shake-n-Bake

Forgot a few….
Slapshot…”F*$&^# machine took my quarter”
…coach “what are you guys doing?” hanson bros “playing with our cars coach, just let us know were ready to go”

“Were on a mission from god”

Tombstone, “why johnny ringo your no daisy at all”

When wyatt bumps into the kid
“I ain’t easy and I ain’t your kid so you can take sorry and shove it up your “

“I don’t know if you have been keeping up on current events man, but we’re getting our asses kicked.” Bill Paxton, ALIENS.

“Here’s a quarter, go down town and have a rat gnaw that off your face.” John Candy, UNCLE BUCK

“I’m invincible. You’re a looney!” Monte Python, SEARCH FOR THE HOLY GRAIL

Well, there’s this passage I’ve got memorized that sort of fits this occasion. Ezekiel 25:17. “The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the iniquities of the selfish and the tyranny of the evil men. Blessed is he who, in the name of charity and goodwill, shepherds the weak through the valley of darkness, for he is truly his brother’s keeper, and the finder of lost children. And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who attempt to poison and destroy my brothers. And you will know my name is the Lord when I lay my vengeance upon thee!”

Jules..aka..Samuel Jackson..Pulp Fiction

Now, that is a big trunk. It holds a tuba, a suitcase, a dead dog, and a garment bag almost perfectly.

From the movie Wonder Boys.

I don’t like rude behavior in a man. Won’t tolerate it. Woodroe F. Call Lonesome Dove

“Mr you have no idea how little I care” Monte Walsh (played by Tom Selleck)

Lonesome dove.. One of my all time favorites..

Woodrow – “What do you need legs for its all you do is sit around all day, you don’t need legs for that!”

Gus – “ Well I might want to kick a pig every once in a while.”

“ Get busy livin or get busy dyin.” – Shawshank Redemption

Not a MOVIE quote, nut my favorite…

“Alcohol: The cause of and solution to, all of life’s problems.”

Homer Simpson

“Big gulps huh? Welp, see ya later.”

“I desperatety want to make love to a school boy.”

THE classic, Dumb and Dumber

“Hey Griswald where you gonna put a tree that big?” “bend over and I’ll show ya!”

“I heard if you find a mouse in your beer bottle you get a free case, eh?”

“Here Newt,it’s better to have a gun and not need it than to need it and not have it!”- Another Woodrow Call quote from Lonesome Dove.

“Anything more than a handful and you’re risking a sprained thumb” Anthony Michael Hall in Weird Science, while making Kelly Lebrock on the computer!

and who can forget- “Whatchya got there Margie,night crawlers? Hey Norm,thought you was headed up to Mil Lacs fishin? Ya,after lunch” – FARGO……… “So I take it that was your accomplice in the wood chipper?”-Marge Gunderson.

Steve Martin is one of my favorite comedians… here’s a few of his best lines:

Three Amigos!: “Hold it El Guapo! Or I’ll pump you so full of lead you’ll be using your dick for a pencil!”

LA Story:

There’s someone out there for everyone – even if you need a pickaxe, a compass, and night goggles to find them

I could never be a woman, ’cause I’d just stay home and play with my breasts all day…

Bowfinger: She had the personality of a ZIP code in Kansas

“Real men are not intimidated by physical threats against their personal selves…and ironically, neither am I”.

-Ernest P. Worrel in Ernest Goes to Jail

What the heck was I thinking, forgot the greatest line from Grumpy Old Men. Talking to Grandpa.

Grandpa: Well let me tell you something now, Johnny. Last Thursday, I turned 95 years old. And I never exercised a day in my life. Every morning, I wake up, and I smoke a cigarette. And then I eat five strips of bacon. And for lunch, I eat a bacon sandwich. And for a midday snack?
John: Bacon.
Grandpa: Bacon! A whole damn plate! And I usually drink my dinner. Now according to all of them flat-belly experts, I should’ve took a dirt nap like thirty years ago. But each year comes and goes, and I’m still here. Ha! And they keep dyin’. You know? Sometimes I wonder if God forgot about me. Just goes to show you, huh

To add to Grumpy Old Men, and I can’t remember which one, the grandpa again. “You can wish in one hand and crap in the other and see which one gets filled first!”