Three men died on Christmas Eve and were met by Saint Peter at the pearly gates. “In honor of this holy season,” Saint Peter said, “you must each possess something that symbolizes Christmas to get into heaven.”
The first man fumbled through his pockets and pulled out a lighter.. He flicked it on. It represents a candle, he said. You may pass through the pearly gates Saint Peter said.
The second man reached into his pocket and pulled out a set of keys. He shook them and said, “They’re bells.” Saint Peter said you may pass through the pearly gates.
The third man started searching desperately through his pockets and finally pulled out a pair of women’s panties. St. Peter looked at the man with a raised eyebrow and asked, “And just what do those symbolize?” The man replied, “These are Carols.”
And So The Holiday Season Begins….
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NO SENSE OF HUMOR
My wife and I are watching
“Who Wants To Be A Millionaire” while we are in bed.
I turned to her and said, “Do you want to have sex?”
“No.” She answered.
I then said, “Is that your final answer?”
Yes.” She replied.
Then I said, ” I’d like to phone a friend.”
That’s the last thing I remember.
That was a good one…
