As I was leafing through a medical pamphlet which came in the mail the other day, one particular article brought some thoughts to mind.
As we mortal males pass through our waning days, we come to realize that the time to achieve our dreams has grown shorter and that these dreams will now become more difficult to attain. The body no longer responds as it used to and the mind is not as sharp as it once was. The hair is thinning and turning gray and the previously flat areas of our bodies are now sagging. We are now paying for the frivolities of youth with the aches and pains of earlier injuries, the wear and tear on the lungs and liver, and the heaviness of heart due to the loss of previous generations. The nerves have been frayed with the roller coaster of emotions connected with major life events. Many paths have been taken and not all of them were paved.
But, I digress. This thought provoking article was titled “The Maturing Male and Menopause-Fact or Fiction.”
WHAT???
Thr article goes on to say that beginning around the age of 40 a man’s body produces about 1% less testosterone each year. (Good thing I started with double the normal amount). The article goes on to discuss some of the symptoms of declining testosterone as:
Irritability and depression. (I’ll kick someone’s butt if they call me irritable……….after I get done crying)
Decreased interest in making whoopie. (?)
Decreased concentration or memory.
Where was I? Oh.
The article went on to say that there may be certain benefits to a hormone replacement therapy for mature males. These include:
Improved muscle mass and strength.
Increased bone mineral density.
Thicker hair and skin (?)
Improved sex drive. 
A boost in energy.
Decreased irratibility and depression.
Improved cognitive function. (What? What did he say?)
But as with all good things, there are some downsides to this therapy also:
Cause or aggravate sleep apnea. 
Stimulate benign growth of the prostrate. 
Cause or aggravate urinary symptoms. 
Enlarge breasts. (Even more?)
Stimulate excess blood production. (Where does it go?)
Cause acne. (Again?)
Ufdah! No wonder they conclude this article by saying to carefully weigh the potential pros and cons before considering this therapy. Personnally, I think I will just keep on trucking instead of risking a bra and Depends any earlier than I have to. Actually I wasn’t depressed until I read this article. From now on it’s In-Fisherman only.
I cannot see.
I cannot pee.
I cannot chew.
I cannot screw.
Oh my gawd what can I do?
My memory shrinks.
My hearing stinks.
No sense of smell.
I look like hell.
My mood is bad, can you tell?
My body’s drooping.
Have trouble pooping.
The Golden Years
have come at last.
The Golden Years
can kiss my a$$ 
I’m going to go down kicking. 
Sure glad I’m not old enough [haven’t signed up yet] to join AARP. 
