Good joke day.
Ole died. So Lena went to the local paper to put a notice in the obituaries. The gentleman at the counter, after offering his condolences, asked Lena what she would like to say about Ole. Lena replied, “You yust put ‘Ole died'” The gentleman, somewhat perplexed, said, “That’s it, Just ‘Ole died?’ Surely there must be something more you would like to say about Ole. If it’s money you’re concerned about, the first five words are free. We must say something more.” So Lena pondered for a few minutes and finally said, “OK. You put ‘Ole died. Boat for sale.'”
Hey, Sven,” said Ole. “how many Swedes does it take to grease a combine?” After Sven replied, “I don’t know,” Ole said “Only two, if you run them through real slow.”
Ole and Lars were on their very first train ride. They had brought along bananas for lunch. Just as they began to peel them, the train entered a long, dark tunnel. “Have you eaten your banana yet?” Ole asked excitedly. “No,” replied Lars. “Vell, don’t touch it den,” Ole exclaimed. “I yust took vun bite and went blind!”
Ole and Lena went to the Olympics. While sitting on a bench a lady turned to Ole and said, “Are you a pole vaulter?” Ole said, “No, I’m Novegian and my name isn’t Valter.”
Ole was driving around the Vikings HHH Dome in a sweat because it was 5 minutes to kickoff and he couldn’t find a parking place and they were going to play “Da Bears” to boot. Looking toward heaven, he said, “Lord, take pity on me. If you find me a parking place, by golly, I vill go to church every Sunday for the rest of my life, and I vill treat my lovely vife like a lady, and by yingles, I promise to give up beer during the Vikings games.
Miraculously, a parking spot appeared.
Ole looked up to heaven again and said, “Never mind, Lord. I yust found one.”
Gotta luv ’em.