21 Little Known Facts about Chuck Norris

Wow! That is incredible. If Chuck could act he’d have it all.

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Wait!!! There’s more!!!

Twenty MORE Facts about Chuck Norris!!!

1)Chuck Norris’ tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.

2)Rather than being birthed like a normal child, Chuck Norris instead decided to punch his way out of his mother’s womb. Shortly thereafter he grew a beard.

3)Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.

4)Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke the speed of light, went back in time, and killed Amelia Earhart while she was flying over the Pacific Ocean.

5)Chuck Norris won ‘Jumanji’ without ever saying the word. He simply beat the living [censored] out of everything that was thrown at him, and the game forfeited.

6)Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck met all three bullets with his beard, deflecting them. JFK’s head exploded out of sheer amazement.

7)Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.
8)Chuck Norris was the fourth Wiseman. He brought baby Jesus the gift of “beard”. Jesus wore it proudly to his dying day. The other Wisemen, jealous of Jesus’ obvious gift favoritism, used their combined influence to have Chuck omitted from the Bible. Shortly after all three died of roundhouse kick related deaths.

9)When Chuck Norris sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack. Chuck Norris has not had to pay taxes ever.

10)Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his dad did.

11)Chuck Norris does not have AIDS but he gives it to people anyway.

12)Chuck Norris can satisfy a woman by simply pointing at her and saying “booya”.

13)When Chuck Norris plays Oregon Trail his family does not die from cholera or dysentery, but rather roundhouse kicks to the face. He also requires no wagon, since he carries the oxen, axels, and buffalo meat on his back. He always makes it to Oregon before you.

14)After much debate, President Truman decided to drop the atomic bomb on Hiroshima rather than the alternative of sending Chuck Norris. His reasoning? It was more “humane”.
15)Chuck Norris recently had the idea to sell his urine as a canned beverage. We know this beverage as Red Bull.

16)Chuck Norris once shot a German plane down with his finger, by yelling, “Bang!”

17)One of the greatest cover-ups of the last century was the fact that Hitler did not commit suicide in his bunker, but was in fact round-house kicked to death by Chuck Norris.

18)Macgyver can build an airplane out of gum and paper clips, but Chuck Norris can kill him and take it.

19)Chuck Norris frequently signs up for beginner karate classes, just so he can “accidentally” beat the crap out of little kids.

20)The original theme song to the Transformers was actually “Chuck Norris–more than meets the eye, Chuck Norris–robot in disguise,” and starred Chuck Norris as a Texas Ranger who defended the earth from drug-dealing Decepticons and could turn into a pick-up. This was far too much awesome for a single show, however, so it was divided.

Chuck Norris can make a woman climax simply by pointing at her and saying “BOOYA!”

Chuck Norris once shot down a german plane simply by pointing at it and saying “BANG”

Everytime Chuck Norris does a roundhouse kick an angel gets its wings.

Chuck Norris’ tears can cure cancer, but unfortunately he has never cried, ever.

Chuck Norris can believe its not butter.

Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his dad did.

Chuck Norris makes his own beef jerky by roundhouse kicking cows so hard that all the moisture leaves their bodies.

The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.

More Chuck Norris

-When the boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris

-There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live.

-Outer space exists becuase it’s afraid to be on the same planet with Chuck Norris.

-Chuck Norris is the reason Waldo is hiding.

-Chuck Norris counted to infinity – twice.

-When Chuck Norris does a push-up, he isn’t lifting himself up, he’s pushing the earth down.

-Chuck Norris’ hand is the only hand that can beat a royal flush.

-Chuck Norris can lead a horse to water and make it drink.

-Chuck Norris doesn’t wear a watch, he decides what time it is.

-Chuck Norris gave Mona Lisa that smile.

-Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.

-Chuck Norris is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in teh back of the head.

-Remember the Soviet Union, they decided to quit after watching a “Delta Force” marathon on satellite TV.

Man-o-man,….Are you guys ever messed up,….Don’t you realize you’ve got the wrong guy? I’ll tell you what,…If Bill Brasky ever finds out about this, you better hide the women and children cause the last time this mistake was made Brasky handed Norris his in a 5 gallon bucket. Why do think Norris has been working out and promoting that stupid exercise machine? Probably because he knows its comin’.

With all the points on Chuck, and me laughing my off, did any of you mention that Chuck is the worlds best actor!!! And man can he sing

My favorite Chuck Norris facts…

Chuck Norris doesn’t go hunting. Chuck Norris goes KILLING!

Some people wear Superman pajamas. Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas.

Chuck Norris knows what Willis is talking about.

Chuck Norris Facts

The only man alive more cool than Chuck Norris is David Hasselhof. By the way, what is up with this Chuck Norris stuff? And I thought my neighbor’s fixation with Henry Winkler was weird.

Umm guys can we post the clean ones on the family site

Check out this video… http://youtube.com/watch?v=dCY_Bp_emJw&search=norris%20sports

These are classics – ttt