Ole and Lena were an old married couple that had happily lived together for nearly forty years. The only friction in their marriage was caused by Ole’s habit of breaking wind nearly every morning as he awoke.
The noise would always wake Lena up and the smell would cause her eyes to water as she would choke and gasp for air. Nearly every morning she would plead with him to stop ripping one in the morning.
Ole told her he couldn’t help it.
Lena begged him to see a doctor to see if anything could be done, but Ole wouldn’t hear of it. He told her that it was just a natural bodily function, and then he would laugh in her face as she tried to wave the fumes away with her hands.
Lena told him that there was nothing natural about it and if he didn’t stop he was going to “Blow his guts out.”
The years went by and Lena continued to suffer, and Ole continued to ignore her warnings until one Thanksgiving morning.
Before dawn, Lena went downstairs to prepare the family feast. She fixed pumpkin pie, mashed potatos, gravy and, of course, a turkey. While she was taking out the turkey’s innards, a thought occurred to the wife as to how she might solve her husband’s problem.
With a devilish grin on her face, she placed the turkey guts in a bowl and quietly walked upstairs before her flatulent husband would awake. While Ole was still sound asleep, she pulled back the covers, and gently pulled back her husband’s jockey shorts. She then placed all of the turkey guts into her husband’s underwear, pulled them up, replaced the covers, and tiptoed downstairs to finish preparing the family meal.
A few hours later she heard Ole awake with his normal butt-trumpeting. This was soon followed by a blood curdling scream and the sound of frantic footsteps as her husband ran to the upstairs bathroom.
Lena could not control herself and her eyes began to tear up as she rolled on the floor laughing. After years of putting up with him, she had finally gotten even.
About 20 minutes later, Ole came downstairs in his blood stained underpants and a look of horror in his eyes.
Lena bit her lip to keep from laughing and she asked him what was the matter.
Ole said, “Honey, you were right, all those years you warned me and I didn’t listen.”
“What do you mean?” asked Lena.
“Well, you always told me that I would end up blowing my guts out one of these days, and today it finally happened. But by the grace of God and these two fingers, I think I got them all back in.”
, unless you are eating at the time like me! 
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