These words of wisdom were just passed along to me by a manic old woman on the psych unit. So I thought I would pass them along to you. Enjoy! 
P.S. I WORK nights on a mental health unit. Really! OK I screw around on this website all night and get payed for it. But “technically” I am working. 
dd
Sorry dd, but the title of your post made me ‘paranoid’. 
Any rooms available? 
Sorry Herb no rooms except for the “quiet” room. You probably wouldn’t want that one.
And it is almost 7:30 and I’m going home! 
dd
Probably not. 
Remember, just because you’re paranoid doesn’t mean they AREN’t out to get you!
Rootski
Anyway Herb and I can share that quiet room…cheaper that way!
Herb…you bring the pickled fish…I’ll bring the crackers….
I’ve been employed at the Minnesota Security Hospital in St Peter for the last 17 years. And no, the two that escaped didn’t come off my unit (or building). I work with Mentally Ill, Sexual Psychopatic Personalities, and Sexually Dangerous Persons who are court Committed to the MSH. Right now I’m a Lead Counselor on a M.I. unit. I spent 6 years working the Sexual Psychopathic units but had to bid off as the urge to choke the life out of Pedophiles was getting too hard to suppress on a daily basis. 
The unit I’m on now has a variety of patients who were sent to us after committing a variety of felonies ranging from simple assault to multiple murders. I could write a book on the things I’ve seen and heard here since 1988. It would be a cross between One Flew Over The Cuckoos Nest and Silence of The Lambs.
Any of you danger junkies of there are looking for a new job, we are looking for 70 more Security Counselors between now and Sept. We can’t build secure buildings or hire staff fast enough to keep up with the sexual predators that the courts are raining on us.
Memorable quotes;
Everybody is stupid sometimes
You should be able to get away anything you don’t get caught at.
I wore this shirt yesterday and put it on fresh this morning.
Maybe YOU are crazy and I really am the King of the United States.
If you get sand in your clam, give them pearls.
We are all here because we are not all there (said while pointing across the hall).
Zon power will engulf you value destroyers.
QUIT TALKING ABOUT ME!!!!!! 
Das Boot, if you write the book, I’ll buy a copy. No joke.
Quote:
Das Boot, if you write the book, I’ll buy a copy. No joke.
I will too.
Hey Herb, are you sure you want to sure a room with Briank after the last photoshop photo out there about him – in the wedding dress?
I also think everyone is schizophrenic.
HOLD ON THERE, NO I DON’T
. . . Do too
. . . Do not
Say,Do you need a degree to get a job there?
Guten Tag Das Boot 3! Wie Gehts?
You sure don’t have to worry about running out of customers. We are full about 98% of the time. And we farm a few out to the fine folks in St. Peter; but more of them to Anoka.
If anybody out there is using or would like to try Meth or crack or daily binge drinking. C’mon down to your local mental health facility and see the kind of fun you got to look forward to. You can become so addled that you can once again wear diapers and scream incoherently 24/7……
Well, actually you don’t get to scream 24/7 because we will snow you good and knock you out.
It is a sad deal; but it does have its hilarious moments. And I wish I would have started writing down quotes 20 years ago. You can’t make this stuff up!
And the following is what a mental health worker looks like most of the time. 
And this is what they look like the rest of the time 
dd
Quote:
Zon power will engulf you value destroyers.
Cough, cough, Arrrrrgh!
Yea that Meth is great stuff – it will keep the mental health system busy for years. It is the chemically induced equalivent of schizophrenia. Matter of fact a meth addicts brain has the same MRI working patterns as a schizophrenics. We are full of meth users that get paranoid and delusional and end up in a persistent psychotic state. Not to mention that the stuff eats the enamel off their teeth and they end up toothless and crazy. I could go on for a few pages on the evils of Meth as I get to deal with the human aftermath everyday.
Drewsdad- The patients that are too violent or crazy (or both) that you foward to Anoka end up in St Peter. We have probally dealt with the same patients at different times of their career.
Mec – if you are serious about getting a job there, Go to the State of Mn Department of Employee Relations and apply. It starts at 14.90 a hour and progresses to 22.50.
it’s not a job for the faint of heart. We do not use Mace,guns, or clubs. You go on your wits and a 8 hour physical skills (judo/karake mostly) course and learn as you go. I spent ten years in the Marine Corps and that training has served me well.
Some days we have way too much of and not enough
I need to start that book but I don’t know how it will end yet.
This is a subject that I think all of us are guilty of making fun of or about, very often. It IS a serious issue, but I’m glad the people in this line of work can keep a sense of humor about it. God bless people who help people.
Muskygirl, I heard Briank was already spoken for, and the Lutefisk peddler is on a cross country scooter ride, so the room is still unoccupied.
cha cha cha
We (scratch that) I don’t see the drugs in my little world. I heard we had a Meth lab in St Croix Beach a year or so ago…I’m glad I hang around with the Junkies that I do…fishing junkies!
Herb? I’ve been known to two time….
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