Joke of the day….

  • gary_wellman
    South Metro
    Posts: 6057
    March 10, 2005 at 4:47 pm #1245923

    Subject: Dear Abby:

    My husband is a liar and a cheat. He has cheated on me from the beginning, and when I confront him, he denies everything. What’s worse, everyone knows he cheats on me. It is so humiliating.

    Also, since he lost his job four years ago he hasn’t even looked for a new one. All he does is buy cigars and cruise around, chitchatting with his pals, while I have to work to pay the bills. Since our daughter went away to college he doesn’t even pretend to like me and hints that I am a lesbian. What should I do?

    Signed, Clueless

    Dear Clueless:

    Grow up and dump him. For Pete’s sake, you don’t need him anymore —

    you’re a United States Senator from New York. Act like it.

    tony_apisa
    E. Moline Illinois along the Rock River
    Posts: 1180
    March 10, 2005 at 4:49 pm #348656

    Oh No. I like that one.

    jason26
    Cedar Falls, IA
    Posts: 380
    March 10, 2005 at 4:51 pm #348657

    LMAO

    jldii
    Posts: 2294
    March 10, 2005 at 5:01 pm #348660

    Thats great!

    sliderfishn
    Blaine, MN
    Posts: 5432
    March 10, 2005 at 9:03 pm #348712

    That is a great joke!

    Dave Koonce
    Moderator
    Prairie du Chien Wi.
    Posts: 6946
    March 11, 2005 at 2:30 am #348813

    A company, feeling it was time for a shakeup, retires their old CEO and
    hires a new one. This new boss is determined to rid the company of all
    slackers. On a tour of the facilities, the CEO notices a guy leaning on a
    wall. The room is full of workers and he wants to let them know he means
    business!

    The CEO walks up to the guy and asks, “And how much money do you make a
    week?” A little surprised, the young fellow looks at him and replies, “I
    make $300.00 a week. Why?”

    The CEO then hands the guy $1,200 in cash and screams, “Here’s four weeks’
    pay, now GET OUT and don’t come back!”

    Feeling pretty good about his first firing, the CEO looks around the room
    and asks, “Does anyone want to tell me what that goof-off did here?”

    With a sheepish grin, one of the other workers mutters, “Pizza delivery guy
    from Domino’s.”

    bassinfever
    Wausau, WI
    Posts: 46
    March 11, 2005 at 4:30 am #348825

    Now that’s funny. Good one Dave.

    putz
    Cottage Grove, Minn
    Posts: 1551
    March 11, 2005 at 5:03 am #348827

    THE LONELY LITTLE BRAIN CELL

    Once upon a time there was a female brain cell which, by mistake, happened to end up in a man’s head.

    She looked around nervously, but all was empty and quiet.

    “Hello?” she cried, but no answer..

    “Is there anyone here?” she cried a little louder, but still no answer.

    Now the female brain cell started to feel alone and scared and yelled at the top of her voice

    “HELLO, IS THERE ANYONE HERE?”

    Then she heard a very faint voice from far, far away…

    “We’re down here.”

    rvvrrat
    The Sand Prairie
    Posts: 1840
    March 11, 2005 at 2:29 pm #348876

    Quit it Putz! Now I have to clean the coffee from my terminal screen! That is simply a classic.

    half2fish
    Wahkon, Minn.
    Posts: 38
    March 12, 2005 at 1:39 am #349087

    great jokes

    Fishing Machine
    Lansing, Ia
    Posts: 810
    March 12, 2005 at 3:53 am #349107


    Now that is a good one Dave.
    They both are good but his is the best

    Fishing Machine
    Lansing, Ia
    Posts: 810
    March 12, 2005 at 3:56 am #349109

    Was drinking coffee and almost choked on it when I read this.
    Putz I’m surprised to see any man admit to this.

    putz
    Cottage Grove, Minn
    Posts: 1551
    March 14, 2005 at 3:19 am #349392

    FM, you didn’t notice my petticoat when I was cooking brats at the GTG? Borrowed it from Brian.

    Fishing Machine
    Lansing, Ia
    Posts: 810
    March 14, 2005 at 5:40 am #349405

    Oh my gosh how did I miss that And pretty pink too I bet. Gee now I really feel bad I’ll be keeping an eye on you from now on.

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