How many trips is too many?

Before you say there’s no such thing, keep in mind we just had our first kid who is 3 months old.

So I am planning my annual trips for the fall and winter. Right now I have 2 trips to SD (October/November), LOTW (December) and Red Lake (January) on the calendar. For those of you that are married with kids, would I be pushing it to put another one on the calendar in February/March? My wife is awesome and VERY understanding with my obsessions. What can I do to make sure she still allows me the freedom to do my yearly trips? I want her to know I appreciate her giving me this freedom as I know of everyone is this fortunate! A gift of some kind? Weekend away?

I need ideas!

Just make sure to return the favor. Youngsters like that take a lot of time from both parents and regardless of how sweet and special, momma will need a break too. Planned events where she can have her time with HER friends without worrying about dad and baby goes a long ways.

My daughter is 4 now so I should take my own advice soon. I guess I did just get back from Ontario…

That’s a tough question.

My wife knows how crappy I get when I don’t get my away time. I can’t think of a time where she has said “No” to one of my trips. I do make sure that she gets her time too.
Happy Wife, Happy Life!!!

I would sit her down and ask, while talking see if there is someplace she would like to get away. With a child that young, she needs her time too.

Ron

“I want her to know I appreciate her giving me this freedom”

That is key. Give her some alone time with out the kids. Just dont take advantage of her kindness to let you go have fun. Get on the wrong side and it can all end.

For me it was easy to get away when the kids where real young. Now that they are all teenagers its not so easy. They all want to be entertained or to go do something.

I try to take them along as much as possible. my wife loves to fish as much as I do so she only gets angry when she can’t go. Ive been to rainy twice along with oahe , devils and lac suel 3 time this year and I’m not counting the 3 times to the park rapids area. So I just try to bring them along as much as I can. good luck

With all that time away, Are you sure the kid is yours?
Jk

Good one…saddle!!!!!!!

Respectable that you are even thinking and asking rather than just doing. Depends on if you are fishing random days as well, and how much you do to help out with baby and around the house, how solid and helpful grandparents are at stepping in, and if she is back to work now. Putting it on the calendar, and relating family or important friendships to the trip helps. It is better if they know it is going to happen and can prepare or plan something themselves so you are both comfortable. You both need your own time, my wife knows I am much more pleasant if I get out here and there. She is awesome, and it is no secret to her that I have a fishing problem. Best thing would be to talk to her straight up, let her know that you actually care about the situation, and get a read there. Next step- don’t trust your man read, lean on the side of caution. In all seriousness, be the man, step up frequently, take over when it’s tough, and make her feel special, your man trips will be guilt free, and you will have a wife that admires you!!! If you are lucky, you get one chance to be a good dad.

BALANCE…

I’m of the belief that a persons conscience is always right, gut feelings all that stuff. That’s what guided me when my kids were little. Be fair and do whats right and you can’t go wrong. Part of being a father and a husband is sacrifice. Don’t let her get burnt out and feel like it’s one-sided.

Take it from someone who knows….. That’s too many trips with a 3 month old baby at home. Your wife has just carried that child for 9 months given birth and your planning 4 fishing trips with friends…… been there ..done that.. bad idea. One trip is plenty,stay home with your new family.

jeez I should show this to my wife. I haven’t been on a “trip” in three years. I now have a 2 1/2 and 15 month old.

Just be sure that you come home good and horny! DIRTBALL2

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Take it from someone who knows….. That’s too many trips with a 3 month old baby at home. Your wife has just carried that child for 9 months given birth and your planning 4 fishing trips with friends…… been there ..done that.. bad idea. One trip is plenty,stay home with your new family.

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+10

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Take it from someone who knows….. That’s too many trips with a 3 month old baby at home. Your wife has just carried that child for 9 months given birth and your planning 4 fishing trips with friends…… been there ..done that.. bad idea. One trip is plenty,stay home with your new family.

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Exactly – IMHO – If you are asking for family advice on a online fishing blog you probably know the answer but don’t want to face it. Lots of chances for fishing/hunting trips in the future but you only 1 chance to spend time with your new born.

Good advise stated above. My favorite is balance, but I think the true balance is a very tipped scale leaning towards your wife. Not that she demands it, rather you need to be understanding to the big picture and WANT to do more for her.
Ask yourself how involved of a father you want to be and what traits and ethics you want your kids to have when they are teenagers, twenties… It all starts at day 1.
I am at the mid-range of the spectrum. One daughter leaving for college and the other with a couple years of high school left. We did our best and sacrificed income to have my wife as a stay at home mom until the girls were in middle school. It took me a couple years during that time to really understand the around the clock demands children have for their mother. Sure, I took a few fishing trips and hunting trips, but always tried to double that time with the kids. Kind of like making up time if that makes sense. My wife would go to her sisters or parents for a weekend and stayed home with the kids.
Being the youngest kid in my family, I saw the mistakes my brothers and sisters made with their kids. Way too much time away when they were small. It is bad enough the amount of time work takes from our lives, then add in the personal time away also. I vowed to not be away like that and be a very involved father. I’m so glad and rewarded that I did. As time goes, it gets easier and you get to take them with for short trips. That will gradually increase each year. If your anything like me, those week long trips without them are heart-breaking. You have some fun, but wish more than anything that they were with and sharing the experience. Then more time flies by and you just simply wish you were watching them.
It’s a learning curve for both you and your wife. As quickly as she may say she’s fine with you going, the over-whelming demand of the kids everyday can change her mind equally as fast. Be understanding to that and you’ll be a great husband as well and a great dad.

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Take it from someone who knows….. That’s too many trips with a 3 month old baby at home. Your wife has just carried that child for 9 months given birth and your planning 4 fishing trips with friends…… been there ..done that.. bad idea. One trip is plenty,stay home with your new family.

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Exactly – IMHO – If you are asking for family advice on a online fishing blog you probably know the answer but don’t want to face it. Lots of chances for fishing/hunting trips in the future but you only 1 chance to spend time with your new born.

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Ditto,

You are asking for trouble. Enjoy this time now as you don’t get it back. In time you will look back and remember the time when you could walk around holding your child in one arm like a football. Like when you eight year old is out fishing you 10 to one!

Focus on the family time now. Fishing and friends understand and will be there.

Now having a 1 year old I have to chime in.

Are you planning on deer hunting too?

It seems it may be too much time away, depending if you are making day trip other weekends too.

Think in terms more local fishing with 1 or 2 weekend trips.

I know its not what you want to hear but this is coming from a guy who used to do LOW every other weekend.

I just “reallocated” the new boat fund to buy a wheel house so we can double up on family time and fishing this winter.

You may want to try to take them along on a weekend and rent a NICE sleeper on Low or Red. We took Zman to Low at 4 months and it was ok for us/him.

Pretty easy baby, knock on wood.

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Now having a 1 year old I have to chime in.
Are you planning on deer hunting too?
It seems it may be too much time away, depending if you are making day trip other weekends too.
Think in terms more local fishing with 1 or 2 weekend trips.
I know its not what you want to hear but this is coming from a guy who used to do LOW every other weekend.

I just “reallocated” the new boat fund to buy a wheel house so we can double up on family time and fishing this winter.

You may want to try to take them along on a weekend and rent a NICE sleeper on Low or Red. We took Zman to Low at 4 months and it was ok for us/him.
Pretty easy baby, knock on wood.

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I like this answer, I just need to buy more stuff!

These are all great suggestions. I should have prefaced it that none of the trips are longer than 4 days, not that it makes a difference. I definitely will be putting in some time beforehand to make sure I pay my dues! Outside of Fall and Winter and an 1 trip in the summer I am home or at the cabin with the family every weekend.

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Take it from someone who knows….. That’s too many trips with a 3 month old baby at home. Your wife has just carried that child for 9 months given birth and your planning 4 fishing trips with friends…… been there ..done that.. bad idea. One trip is plenty,stay home with your new family.

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Agree with this – if you have to ask, it’s too much. My boy will be 1 in a couple weeks and I’ve had 2 weekend trips with the guys and a few other half day trips sprinkled in here and there since he’s been born. I certainly want to go fishing more than I have but I’m blessed to spend every moment that I can with my wife and son. I hope you find out what works for you and your family, good luck.

My brothers and I love to fish, and most of the time we plan trips together, especially to the cabin up by Mille Lacs. For as long as I can remember we have always given the girls a “pay back trip”. They get a trip arranged every late fall early winter to Florida. They have settled into the St. Pete’s beach area and love it. I get the pleasure of paying for it. While the kids were young they also planned a trip every spring break to Wisconsin Dell’s water parks. Make sure her priorities and yours are the same and as you are filling up your calendar, your putting in time for the family and her own time.

After having young kids I would say you are better off not going on so many right now when they are young. There will come a time when you look back and wish you could have these days back.
You will be able to fish and do trips all your life, your kids are only young once.

Hell, my daughter is 9 now and I am lucky if I get to go on one “boys” trip every other year.

Not saying I don’t get out, but alot of it is right around home or I have done lots of day trips with some driving and no damn sleep.

One thing is clear from reading the above. Every marriage and family is different. I cut back drastically when my kids were younger, we had 3 in 3 years. Don’t do that!!

Now, youngest is 5, I go on a few hunts each year where I’m gone 3-7 days at a time. Throw in 6-10 weekend trips a year and I’m gone quite a bit. I have the luxury of my wife traveling weekly for work so I utilize her guilt for being gone to fullest.

I like to lay my schedule out for the wife as early as possible. This way we can work out any conflicts. I also take the kids on several of my trips. They get to see family and I get to hunt. Win Win for everyone.

You know your family better than anyone, do what is best for all. Personally, there is nothing wrong with being a little selfish occasionally, just don’t abuse. We all need our adult time.

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One thing is clear from reading the above. Every marriage and family is different. I cut back drastically when my kids were younger, we had 3 in 3 years. Don’t do that!!

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You must be Irish!

That is very true, when I grew up my dad went hunting in the fall most weekends and fishing a few times in spring and summer. I started going along as soon as I was old enough to tag along. On the flip side, I know some people whose significant others didn’t allow them to go on trips and now they are bitter… I guess it’s a double edged sword. For the analytical geeks like me, 4-5 trips amounts to approximately 6% of the year which seems pretty reasonable. Once we have 2 or 3 kids I no doubt will have to sacrifice some of my fishing/hunting time. Maybe all I need to do is total up the cost of my trips and buy my wife something that is equivalent in price?

Now, another question. For those of you who stopped taking trips when your kids were born, did you ever get back to taking them?

My kid went in a gym bag on almost all my hunting and fishing trips till she could hang onto my shoulders and ride my back.Got where she would tell me when the dogs were getting birdy and scold me when I missed.
She and my wife I still my best friends.So I say include them whenever you can and take a trip with your buddies now and then to keep those friendships going.
There is no wrong or right,just do what you feel is right.After all it is your relationship and family not any of ours.

According to the Men’s Handbook, page 87. Unescorted trips with the guys are based on a merit system. Points are obtained by completion of the following tasks.

Vacuuming the living room = 1 point
scrubbing kitchen and bath floors = 2 points
Dusting = 2 pts
doing laundry and folding clothes = 3pts
Grocery shopping = 1 pts.
emptying dishwasher = 1pts.
cooking and clean-up after yourself = 2pts.
Mowing lawn and raking = 0 pts.
making the bed and picking up clothes = 1 pt

Trips out of town for one night 5 pts are needed
More then one night 10 are needed

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According to the Men’s Handbook, page 87. Unescorted trips with the guys are based on a merit system. Points are obtained by completion of the following tasks.

Vacuuming the living room = 1 point

scrubbing kitchen and bath floors = 2 points

Dusting = 2 pts

doing laundry and folding clothes = 3pts

Grocery shopping = 1 pts.

emptying dishwasher = 1pts.

cooking and clean-up after yourself = 2pts.

Mowing lawn and raking = 0 pts.

making the bed and picking up clothes = 1 pt

Trips out of town for one night 5 pts are needed

More then one night 10 are needed

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LOL lots of truth to this may I ask where to get a copy.

I haven’t been gone more than 2 days from my kids for 7 years. You will miss them, even if you are the most hardcore. Start looking more local frequently rather than long stays IMO. Yes you will not be at world class destinations like SD an LOW but you will be forced to become an incredibly skilled angler in short increments. And lastly, nothing you could buy will ever make things all better. That’s not how they function. Put in work, surprise them, give a gift that takes time and work and means something to them. Just my 2 cents.