THREE HOLY MEN AND A BEAR

  • Denny O
    Central IOWA
    Posts: 5821
    #1280822

    THREE HOLY MEN AND A BEAR

    A Catholic Priest, a Baptist Preacher and a Rabbi all served as Chaplains to the students of Northern Michigan University at Marquette in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan. They would get together two or three times a week for coffee and to talk shop.

    One day, someone made the comment that preaching to people isn’t really all that hard, a real challenge would be to preach to a bear.

    One thing led to another, and they decided to do an experiment. They would all go out into the woods, find a bear, preach to it, and attempt to convert it to their religion. 7 days later, they all came together to discuss their experiences.

    Father Flannery, who had his arm in a sling, was on crutches, and had various bandages on his body and limbs, went first. ‘Well,’ he said, ‘I went into the woods to find me a bear. And when I found him, I began to read to him from the Catechism.

    Well, that bear wanted nothing to do with me and began to slap me around. So I quickly grabbed my holy water, sprinkled him and, Holy Mary Mother of God, he became as gentle as a lamb. The Bishop is coming out next week to give him first communion and confirmation.’

    Reverend Billy Bob spoke next. He was in a wheelchair, had one arm and both legs in casts, and had an IV drip. In his best fire-and-brimstone oratory, he exclaimed, ‘WELL, brothers, you KNOW that we Baptists don’t sprinkle! I went out and I FOUND me a bear. And then I began to read to my bear from God’s HOLY WORD! But that bear wanted nothing to do with me.

    So I took HOLD of him and we began to wrestle. We wrestled down one hill, UP another and DOWN another until we came to a creek. So I quickly DUNKED him and BAPTIZED his hairy soul. And just like you said, he became as gentle as a lamb. We spent the rest of the day praising Jesus..Hallelujah!

    The Priest and the Reverend both looked down at the Rabbi, who was lying in a hospital bed. He was in a body cast and traction with IVs and monitors running in and out of him. He was in really bad shape.

    The Rabbi looked up and said: “Looking back on it …circumcision may not have been the best way to start.”

    average-joe
    Hudson, WI
    Posts: 2376
    #1145059

    That was great

    I needed that

    stratos_375
    Southern Wisconsin
    Posts: 113
    #1145080

    Great!! I will be using that one at work tonight!

    grumpy
    Iowa, Clinton
    Posts: 489
    #1145116

    eye-full
    Waterloo,Ia,USA
    Posts: 660
    #1145120

    Think I’ll send that one to the pastor!

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