Advice from men please

  • coleycrawler
    Minneapolis
    Posts: 308
    #1280529

    Hypothetical question:

    Let’s say I have a boyfriend that claims he can out-fish my dad ice-fishing. And let’s say my dad is an old-school, pretty set in his ways, bullheaded, but a great fisherman.

    Do I let these 2 go fishing WITHOUT ME?

    If it were me, as my boyfriend. I would purposely not catch as much if in fact I was out fishing the dad.

    Are there pissing matches when it comes to something like this?

    tom_gursky
    Michigan's Upper Peninsula(Iron Mountain)
    Posts: 4751
    #1137871

    I am a dad and grandpa…
    Let the boys have at it…Fishing is one of the few sports where experience can neutralize youth.

    cougareye
    Hudson, WI
    Posts: 4145
    #1137873

    If your boyfriend is serious about you, he’ll fish just like your dad does and minds his P’s & Q’s. Heck, he might learn a thing or two.

    If he comes into the shack with all his new gadgetry and tells your dad he’s nuts for fishing the way he does, their relationship (which is already strained at best) ain’t going to go well.

    Tell your boyfriend, if you let him fish with your dad, to be VERY careful. Take this advice from those that have gone before you.

    It took me years to “undo” my first few fishing experiences with my FIL. Now we really enjoy fishing together, but it took some trial and error.

    ET

    coleycrawler
    Minneapolis
    Posts: 308
    #1137874

    Wow! Beautifully put! Thank you.

    Brian Klawitter
    Keymaster
    Minnesota/Wisconsin Mississippi River
    Posts: 59992
    #1137879

    You can’t go along…unless you want to hear both your dad and boyfriend crying about being out fished by a girl for years.

    Remember, guys have egos.

    coleycrawler
    Minneapolis
    Posts: 308
    #1137880

    Exactly! My dad defiantly doesn’t spend money on the foo-foo fishing gear. Their relationship is not bad which is a good thing. But I’d feel so bad for him is some “punk” half his age comes in and shows him up.

    I know it will not be an issue just looking out.

    Shhhh-I’m secretly rooting for my papa.

    coleycrawler
    Minneapolis
    Posts: 308
    #1137882

    You nailed it BK I’d go to keep peace but we all know I couldn’t drop my line down. Poor guys would need shock therapy after that.

    Mike W
    MN/Anoka/Ham lake
    Posts: 13294
    #1137884

    Great post. Remember ice fishing with my future father in law. Plenty of days standing out on the ice in below zero weather. I had a fl-8 to use and power ice auger. He had a old stick with a spike in the end for a rod, hand auger and bottle of Brandy. Would like to say I out fished him a lot but that did not always happen. Nowadays when I think its to cold to go fishing images of Jim standing out on the ice at 15 below zero come to mind. Boy have I turned into a wuss.

    Joel Ballweg
    Sauk City, Wisconsin
    Posts: 3295
    #1137888

    I agree with Mike. Good post!
    Please let us know how it goes if and when it does happen.

    live2fishmillelacs
    Blaine, MN
    Posts: 155
    #1137893

    As men I do not think we can really do much without competing. I really do believe that if two of them go, they will be just fine. Adding you to the mix will just bring a whole level of pride into the mix. Once they are done, go in there and show them both how to fish. They will forget anything that may have happened when the two of them fished, and concentrate on never getting beat by you again LOL. Good luck and don’t forget to duck…

    jeff_huberty
    Inactive
    Posts: 4941
    #1137895

    Quote:


    You can’t go along…unless you want to hear both your dad and boyfriend crying about being out fished by a girl for years.

    Remember, guys have egos.


    Ditto X2!!

    Coley;We haven’t heard BK quit crying since you fished with him.

    Calvin Svihel
    Moderator
    Northwest Metro, MN
    Posts: 3862
    #1137899

    All men have a competitive edge, its in our DNA, however if your boyfriend thinks he will have a future with you and your father, then he best pull back the reigns on the “contest”. You will always be a “daddys girl” and rooting for your dad comes naturally.

    I remember ice fishing with my FIL for the first time, I was nervous, not because I was trying to outfish him, but I was auditioning to him about how I would be taking his daughter fishing more as we became a family, FIL lives in Canada. I also wanted him to be comfortable on the ice, I wanted him to catch the fish because that is what he enjoyed doing, but when we got home that night he made it well aware he caught more fish than me.

    Enjoy the day, my wife talks about that memory all the time.

    Brian Klawitter
    Keymaster
    Minnesota/Wisconsin Mississippi River
    Posts: 59992
    #1137900

    You would have to bring that up AGAIN.

    Steve Root
    South St. Paul, MN
    Posts: 5623
    #1137911

    My FIL was a good guy and I really miss him. He wasn’t much of a fisherman, however he understood that the whole idea was to have fun which he always did. The first few times he went out with me (depth finders, half a dozen rods, weird lures like spinner baits) he looked at me like I was from outer space. But we both made sure we were having fun so it was all good.

    My advice to your boyfriend? Sit back and listen to the old guy. He’ll appreciate that more than anything.

    Rootski

    Will Roseberg
    Moderator
    Hanover, MN
    Posts: 2121
    #1137914

    Absolutely let them go fishing without you. In all honesty it is a very good way for you to learn something significant… How compatable are the two most important men in your life. Most likely they will get along great even if they are both competitive and if for some reason they don’t it’s a good thing for you to figure it out sooner rather than later.

    Personally I would try to catch more fish, but keep it very close

    wimwuen
    LaCrosse, WI
    Posts: 1960
    #1137922

    Here’s my take. Fishing is supposed to be fun, and competitiveness comes with the territory. When I take people, regardless of if it’s an inlaw or a random friend, I do whatever I can to make sure they catch fish. That being said, I never apologize if I catch more fish than they do.

    If your BF is a better angler than your dad, then I would hope your dad would either respect that, or maybe even pick up a pointer or two. If your dad is the better angler, even better. It’s probably a good lesson for the BF to learn.

    Let them go, if your BF treats your dad poorly, then you have more insight into who he is. Regardless of who catches the most fish, can they coexists, that’s the question.

    SLACK
    HASTINGS, MN
    Posts: 711
    #1137937

    As a father of an adult daughter, if her boyfreind claimed he could out fish me and then did not bring his A game and laid up I would have little respect for the guy. If he were to out fish me I could handle that and it would create a bond between us because i would want another shot at him which would meen we would have to go fishing again.

    mbenson
    Minocqua, Wisconsin
    Posts: 3842
    #1137939

    Coley:

    Neat topic!!! My FIL god rest his soul, is fishing beetle spins in the promised land!!! I think I fished with him and his son several times before I started dating his daughter so it really wasn’t an issue. We all just plain had fun!!! And we caught fish and worked together to catch more, not competitively… Even after I started dating my wife, I think our first trip overnight for a week together still had his son with us. Her whole family fished, it was in their blood and we all had fun while catching fish!!!

    If BF and father like fishing, hopefully its more about beating the fish, than the fishing partner.

    Mark

    mark-bruzek
    Two Harbors, MN
    Posts: 3867
    #1137941

    Money where his mouth is and they need a judge…

    Fife
    Ramsey, MN
    Posts: 4044
    #1137942

    Quote:


    Let them go, if your BF treats your dad poorly, then you have more insight into who he is. Regardless of who catches the most fish, can they coexists, that’s the question.


    That sums up about everything I was going to say.

    The first time I fished with my FIL was a great time. We hadn’t planned on fishing, so I had no gear along. He gave me some clothes to wear, took me out to his house that was already set up, gave me his new depthfinder, and gave me his favorite rod. I probably did catch more fish than him, but it was great that he borrowed me everything so we both could go. He finds the fish every season now and calls me to let me know the house is set up and ready to go. He is a little stuck in his ways, but over the years he has picked up on some things I’ve learned along the way. We now use the same rod/reel setup, same depthfinder, and after I whooped him Saturday 35 fish to 5 he decided to go to the bait shop with me and pick out some gill pills and diamond jigs for him.

    Randy Wieland
    Lebanon. WI
    Posts: 13475
    #1137961

    Holy crap this brings back some good memories!

    Maybe I have a different mentality then most but let them go and do their thing. Naturally your gonna drill your boyfriend on what they talked about and all that good stuff. If you respect your Father’s opinion, then you’ll ask a few days later what he thinks.
    The boyfriend needs to be himself and pave his own way. Dad wants to see how respectful the kid is and have a glimpse of how he thinks he’ll treat you.
    My first trip out with the future FIL was being tossed to the blood thirsty wolves. But then I was an arrogant SOB that didn’t take crap from anyone and I was very head strong on being myself and not phoney.
    Father in law shown up at my house 1/2 hour late, with my two future BIL’s and their couple ding-bat friends. To make the day more interesting, I didn’t know they considered having “a beer” was a case of pabst per guy. I don’t drink outside of my house. Anyways, they set up their tip-ups, made base camp, and downed a heck of a lot of beer. For me, Lowrance Green box, 1 jig rod, hand auger and an assortment of W5 jig rapalas. I put on a serious clinic. As much crap as they could dish out about beating my , I laughed in their drunken faces and stuck one fish after another. Father in Law to be finally walked out by me, set a beer down by my locator, and said “Your pretty dam serious about fishing!” I thanked him for the offer of the beer and handed it back to him. He stood there for a while and finally started some asking more serious questions about me and what I wanted to do with my life.
    I honestly don’t know what was said after they dropped me off or what was said to my now wife. But I was never offered another beer – he kept pepsi in the fridge and had one out for me whenever I walked in the door, never questioned me getting his daughter home at 3:00am, and always insists on paying for everything.
    As for the BIL’s, not that bad of guys. They still give me crap, but when it comes to who would kick who’s , I get a lot of respect from them. Anyways, that was my first experience with my Father in Law and the boys.

    mbenson
    Minocqua, Wisconsin
    Posts: 3842
    #1137991

    Quote:


    But then I was an arrogant SOB that didn’t take crap from anyone and I was very head strong on being myself and not phoney.


    Not you Randy…

    Mark

    Randy Wieland
    Lebanon. WI
    Posts: 13475
    #1137996

    Mark, good thing I matured and mellowed out

    Brian Klawitter
    Keymaster
    Minnesota/Wisconsin Mississippi River
    Posts: 59992
    #1137997

    F-I-L.

    Notice Smile? I never catch a fish when he’s along…but then I seldom actually catch a fish.

    coleycrawler
    Minneapolis
    Posts: 308
    #1138101

    Amazing feedback! This is the exact info I was looking for. And it’s so great all of your stories! It’s heartfelt and I truly enjoyed reading each story. This makes me so happy to be a part of the IDO family. I’m impressed.

    Thanks a lot ALL OF YOU! You

    chirp
    Rochester
    Posts: 1471
    #1138128

    Coley, I’m going to come at this from a FIL’S position. I have fished with my daughter’s boyfriend now husband and have always had a lot of fun with him. Sure there is competition but I think it is always in good fun. Nobody goes home angry. He’s always been respectful and I have always done my best to make sure he has fun. If he beats me so be it. I’m sure your Dad won’t be upset about that either. Just so long as your boyfriend shows him the respect he deserves. I’m sure they will have a great time. Heck join them later on and show them both up. You out fished BK. Oh I forgot everybody does that. Good Luck to ya.

    Brian Klawitter
    Keymaster
    Minnesota/Wisconsin Mississippi River
    Posts: 59992
    #1138134

    Chirp, check out the subject line…

    Quote:


    Advice from men (only) please


    Please.

    (Sorry, I was saving that for Jeff but you’ll do nicely.)

    chirp
    Rochester
    Posts: 1471
    #1138140

    I knew that was coming. I tried to be nice and helpful. It just slipped. Sorry.

    hnd
    Posts: 1579
    #1138673

    me and my fil are both very much avid fisherman but luckily its two entirely different styles of fishing.

    he trolls large mountain reservoirs for kokanee salmon. i’m a river rat and ice fishing guy.

    we get along fine.

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