Xmas and Exs

You married guys can’t comment UNLESS you have an Ex.

I’ve only got one, so I don’t really know what i’m doing.

Anyway, the ex and i are getting along ok and i’d like to KEEP it that way.

Last year gave her a card and that was fine. She didn’t return the favor, but it’s understandable as she has a new BF.

I WAS thinking about giving her a small symbolic gift (coffee cup, hunting glove, etc)

Want Da Kid to know that we don’t HATE each other. Not at all worried that Ex’ll think i want to get back together.

Comments from Qualified Divorcees welcome…

i’d be glad to respond. i have been remarried for 21 plus years but i got an ex with whom i have 3 grown adult kids with. and i wouldnt let her lick my sweat off my you know what if she was dieing of thirst. but thats of course i dont get along with her. matter of fact i aint said a word to her in 30 years.

now in your case, if i got along with her, yea i’d probably do something like that! just to let your kid(s) know! just hope the new BF dont get jealous!!!!!!

i have got 2 let dead dogs and feel greatful.

bsaically we say “have a good xmas” and that is about it when we are swapping kids. biggest thing any time is do not talk down about your ex around the kids at all that way if the ex bad mouths you, you look like the bigger person. kids are smart give them credit. and they will figure it out sooner or later.

my daughter keeps asking my wife why her and her mom are not friends on facebook.

Never been married but if she is your ex and you have a kid isn’t she already getting enough of your money?

After her not returning the favor last year I would call it good enough. Maybe just a card that is to her and her new squeeze. That way she wont get the wrong impression and you are kinda letting the guy know have fun with my seconds

Where is Schultz at? He has two to not give anything to.

Hey Stu, I would leave things as is, your daughter will and probably already knows you and your ex get along. I have to drop my Son off tomorrow to spend a few days with his mother for the holiday. There will not be any words said and I am okay with that, actually prefer it and I am sure does too since she is a dead beat parent. Like others say don’t bad mouth her in front of your duaghter that is probably the most important.
good luck

Merry Christmas to you and your daughter.

It is a new experience for me too. Very hard at times to take the high road, especially when my ex ripped me publicly and told anybody who would listen what a POS I am. I helped the kids buy her a Christmas present and I keep the communication to a minimum. I have the GF who thinks I am going to return to the ex all the time. I am very tempted to swear off women completely at least once a week…

dd

Yeah, I have two. One can kiss my and the other one I don’t like enough to comment on. Tell her merry christmas if you have to see her. If you don’t have to see her, drink a beer and say a prayer of thanks that you don’t have to.

You can be cordial, and you should be since you have a child together. You NEED to get along for the sake of your child, but you don’t have to like her, and you sure as H&%# don’t have to give her a gift. You should assist your child in getting her a present though.

Drewsdad keep taking the high road, I know how hard it is, I actually have two ex’s, kids with both. My latest ex called my whole family which is huge (100 that putiing it small) my friends and even my other son who is an adult now and told them all kinds of shiii. It actually caused problems for me and my other son which have not been repaired yet and it hase been over 7 years now. I will remain patient on that one too. They will get theirs in the end, because of my ex’s problem with anger and alcohol I ended up getting custody of my son after she was awarded custody and divorce was final. She has even lost her family because they won’t even speak to her and want nothing to do with her. Plus your kids will remember when they get older and will respect you more for it, but they will still love their mom because she is their mom. My son is now 16 and does see some of what has gone on and understands a little but he still loves and wants to see his mom, so I have to let him. You are doing the right thing. good luck to you and Merry Christmas to you and your family

A card is enough. If she didn’t give you one last year,then make this year’s card just another one on the list.

What’s a potential gift symbolic of?

I grew up in a divorced family. I would’ve thought it was weird if my mom and dad were exchanging gifts. Saying Merry Christmas was customary and I would’ve never expected more.

If you don’t buy ex girlfriends from the past gifts, it doesn’t make sense that you would have to buy an ex wife one. I think it speaks volumes to your child that you’re willing to be decent to your ex, but I also don’t think you need to be the only one going above and beyond (purchasing gifts when she doesn’t). A card will suffice IMHO.

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Drewsdad keep taking the high road, I know how hard it is, I actually have two ex’s, kids with both. My latest ex called my whole family which is huge (100 that putiing it small) my friends and even my other son who is an adult now and told them all kinds of shiii. It actually caused problems for me and my other son which have not been repaired yet and it hase been over 7 years now. I will remain patient on that one too. They will get theirs in the end, because of my ex’s problem with anger and alcohol I ended up getting custody of my son after she was awarded custody and divorce was final. She has even lost her family because they won’t even speak to her and want nothing to do with her. Plus your kids will remember when they get older and will respect you more for it, but they will still love their mom because she is their mom. My son is now 16 and does see some of what has gone on and understands a little but he still loves and wants to see his mom, so I have to let him. You are doing the right thing. good luck to you and Merry Christmas to you and your family

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Great post Fin.

I wouldn’t send anything, that’s creepy. if you have kids, maybe you can have them make a card or buy a card from them and give it to her..

Thanks Tom

Merry Christmas

After 25 years the rancor and hurt are long gone.My ex, who has no family to speak of spends xmas dinner with us and opens a small gift each year. ” tis the season” right?