Baptizing A Drunk
A man is stumbling through the woods – totally drunk – when he comes upon a preacher baptizing people in the river. The drunk walks into the water and bumps into the preacher. The preacher turns around and is almost overcome by the smell of booze. Whereupon he asks the drunk, “Are you ready to find Jesus?”
“Yes I am!” replies the drunk. So the preacher grabs him and dunks him in the river. As he pulls him back out, he asks the drunk, “Brother have you found Jesus?”
The drunk replies, “No, I haven’t.”
The preacher, shocked at the answer, dunks him into the water again, but for a bit longer this time. As he again pulls him out of the water, he asks again, “Have you found Jesus, my brother?”
The drunk again answers, “Nope! I really tried…. but didn’t find him!”
The preacher can’t believe it…. and is about at his wit’s end. This time when he dunks the drunk, he holds him down for about 30 seconds.
When the drunk begins kicking his arms and legs, the preacher pulls him up. The preacher asks the drunk again, “For the love of God, Man, have you found Jesus?”
The drunk wipes his eyes; catches his breath; and says to the preacher,
“Are you sure this is where he fell in?” 
