Friday Funny

So true!!

Not sure why but having serious issues posting funny memes! hunting and fishing related.

What do you call a chicken that’s crossing the road? Poeltry in motion!

more far side

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tried posting a few more from book of faces with no luck???? not sure why. did it before and works other sites!!

These are classic…..

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I may have shared these once a long while ago but just in case……

Stupid sayings
PONDERING…
What if Stacy’s Mom was really Jessie’s girl and her number was 867-5309?
– I’d like to thank whoever told my mom that “WTF” means “Wow That’s Fantastic”. Her texts are so much more fun now.
– To the person who stole my antidepressants, I hope you’re happy.
– Got up this morning and ran around the block five times. Then I got tired. So, I picked up the block and put it back in the toy box.
– Once you lick the frosting off a cupcake, it becomes a muffin…and muffins are healthy. You’re welcome.
– Your fingers have fingertips but your toes don’t have toetips. Yet you can tiptoe but not tipfinger…interesting.
– Did you know on the Canary Islands there is not one canary? And on the Virgin Isles? Same thing – not one canary there either.
HARD LESSON:
I definitely learned my lesson about speeding today and it will never happen again. I didn’t get pulled over or anything, I just showed up for work 20 minutes early.
– 2021 New year’s resolution: I’m giving up drinking for a month. Sorry, that came out wrong. I’m giving up. Drinking for a month.
– When I was little, I didn’t care about things like what to wear, my parents dressed me. Looking back at some of my old pictures, it’s obvious that my parents didn’t care either.
– The Seven Dwarfs have been advised that as of today, they can only meet in groups of six. One of them isn’t Happy.
MOM THOUGHTS…
Sometimes, in the quiet, I stare at my husband when he isn’t looking and I think to myself. He’s one lucky SOB.
– My kids wanted to know what it’s like to be a mom. So I woke them up at 2am to let them know my sock came off.
– My husband called tonight and asked what I was cooking for dinner. We laughed and laughed. Then he said, “Seriously, what do you need from the liquor store?”
– Thinking of sleeping on my husband’s side of the bed. Apparently from that side, you don’t hear the kids wake up at night.

DAD THOUGHTS…
Dad: Son, would you like anything to eat for dinner?
Son: What are my choices?
DAD: Yes or no.
– George de Mestral, the inventor of Velcro died. RIP
The school phoned me today and said, “Your son’s been telling lies.” I replied, “Tell him he’s very good. I don’t have a son.”
– They’re building a mirror factory in town. I could see myself working there..
– I bought coconut shampoo today. But when I got home, I realized…I don’t have a coconut.
– My boss told me to have a good day. So I went home.
I told my therapist I can’t get the Grease soundtrack out of my head…He said, “tell me more.”
– I went to a psychic and knocked on her front door. She yelled, “Who is it?” So I left.

People are usually shocked when they find out I’m not a good electrician.
My wife hated my impulse purchase of a revolving chair. But then she sat in it. Eventually she came around.
– I hate it when my wife says: “Are you listening to me?” It’s such a random way to start a conversation.
– The sweater I received for Christmas was picking up static electricity, so I went to the store to exchange it. They gave me another one, free of charge.
– I had the rudest, slowest cashier today. I guess it’s my own fault for using the self-service checkout.
– Once upon a time, there lived a king who was only 12 inches tall. He was a terrible king but made a great ruler.
– I wonder what my parents did to fight boredom before the internet? I asked my 18 brothers and sisters and they didn’t know either.
– Instead of water, I put Red Bull in the back of my coffee maker this morning. I was halfway to work before I realized I forgot my car.
– Instead of the John, I call my bathroom the Jim…that way it sounds better when I say I go the Jim every morning.
– During child birth, the pain is so great that a woman can almost imagine what a man feels like when he has a fever.
– My wife tells me I can be an idiot sometimes. I think it’s pretty cool of her to give me permission like that.

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Umy wrote:

I may have shared these once a long while ago but just in case……

Stupid sayings
PONDERING…
What if Stacy’s Mom was really Jessie’s girl and her number was 867-5309?
– I’d like to thank whoever told my mom that “WTF” means “Wow That’s Fantastic”. Her texts are so much more fun now.
– To the person who stole my antidepressants, I hope you’re happy.
– Got up this morning and ran around the block five times. Then I got tired. So, I picked up the block and put it back in the toy box.
– Once you lick the frosting off a cupcake, it becomes a muffin…and muffins are healthy. You’re welcome.
– Your fingers have fingertips but your toes don’t have toetips. Yet you can tiptoe but not tipfinger…interesting.
– Did you know on the Canary Islands there is not one canary? And on the Virgin Isles? Same thing – not one canary there either.
HARD LESSON:
I definitely learned my lesson about speeding today and it will never happen again. I didn’t get pulled over or anything, I just showed up for work 20 minutes early.
– 2021 New year’s resolution: I’m giving up drinking for a month. Sorry, that came out wrong. I’m giving up. Drinking for a month.
– When I was little, I didn’t care about things like what to wear, my parents dressed me. Looking back at some of my old pictures, it’s obvious that my parents didn’t care either.
– The Seven Dwarfs have been advised that as of today, they can only meet in groups of six. One of them isn’t Happy.
MOM THOUGHTS…
Sometimes, in the quiet, I stare at my husband when he isn’t looking and I think to myself. He’s one lucky SOB.
– My kids wanted to know what it’s like to be a mom. So I woke them up at 2am to let them know my sock came off.
– My husband called tonight and asked what I was cooking for dinner. We laughed and laughed. Then he said, “Seriously, what do you need from the liquor store?”
– Thinking of sleeping on my husband’s side of the bed. Apparently from that side, you don’t hear the kids wake up at night.

DAD THOUGHTS…
Dad: Son, would you like anything to eat for dinner?
Son: What are my choices?
DAD: Yes or no.
– George de Mestral, the inventor of Velcro died. RIP
The school phoned me today and said, “Your son’s been telling lies.” I replied, “Tell him he’s very good. I don’t have a son.”
– They’re building a mirror factory in town. I could see myself working there..
– I bought coconut shampoo today. But when I got home, I realized…I don’t have a coconut.
– My boss told me to have a good day. So I went home.
I told my therapist I can’t get the Grease soundtrack out of my head…He said, “tell me more.”
– I went to a psychic and knocked on her front door. She yelled, “Who is it?” So I left.

People are usually shocked when they find out I’m not a good electrician.
My wife hated my impulse purchase of a revolving chair. But then she sat in it. Eventually she came around.
– I hate it when my wife says: “Are you listening to me?” It’s such a random way to start a conversation.
– The sweater I received for Christmas was picking up static electricity, so I went to the store to exchange it. They gave me another one, free of charge.
– I had the rudest, slowest cashier today. I guess it’s my own fault for using the self-service checkout.
– Once upon a time, there lived a king who was only 12 inches tall. He was a terrible king but made a great ruler.
– I wonder what my parents did to fight boredom before the internet? I asked my 18 brothers and sisters and they didn’t know either.
– Instead of water, I put Red Bull in the back of my coffee maker this morning. I was halfway to work before I realized I forgot my car.
– Instead of the John, I call my bathroom the Jim…that way it sounds better when I say I go the Jim every morning.
– During child birth, the pain is so great that a woman can almost imagine what a man feels like when he has a fever.
– My wife tells me I can be an idiot sometimes. I think it’s pretty cool of her to give me permission like that.

Absolutely hilarious.

It’s the little things in life
Unlike Glenn’s fish!!!??

“Not one canary.” I snorted!

Umy wrote:

It’s the little things in life
Unlike Glenn’s fish!!!??

Hate when this always happens.

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Hate to say it but I remember all of these!!

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haleysgold wrote:

Hate to say it but I remember all of these!!

Ha! I’ve lived thru every one of them.

Why do scuba divers fall backwards out of the boat?

Because if they fall forwards they would still be in the boat!

Yep.

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Getting a head start on tomorrow.

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Glenn’s post reminded me of Remington’s war on squirrels videos a while back.

On a thursday…

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Why do Peruvian owls hang
out in pairs?

Because they’re Inca Hoots!

True that.

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I heard spring peepers yesterday and was reminded of this joke.
How deep is a frog pond?
knee deep, knee deep, knee deep

In my mechanic’s office.

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That’s great!

Bit of a read, but

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A guy walked into the sporting goods store and was approached by the salesperson with the usual question “can I help you…?”

The guy said “I’d like a new fishing rod and reel for my wife…”

The salesperson replied, “Sorry, but we can’t take trade-ins…”

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Bet ya can’t watch this without laughing out loud.

https://www.brighteon.com/963bebab-5196-4ee7-88db-8aa877460845