I thought SMB only ate crawfish and not small fish like young <strong class=”ido-tag-strong”>walleye and perch. Now try and tell me they are not part of the problem with the EYES!
Don’t worry, I do plan on keeping every smallmouth I catch….
But not for the reason you think, and most assuredly not for the reason you hope.
I will bring them home and starve them to an inch of death, they will be famished, broken, longing for any sustenance to keep them holding on to this thing we call life. Only then, at the brink of starvation and death, will they be fed. But they will not be fed crayfish, my friend, oh no indeed. At that point I will introduce walleye fingerlings into their tank. Not all at once mind you, just enough to feed the most aggressive, most ambitious smallmouth. Over time, they will grow to love the taste of walleye, they will crave it. The weak and ineffective will die, only those who show the deepest desire for walleye meat will survive. To their minds, walleye will not be their favorite meal, it will be their ONLY meal. Their only option.
Over the course of many years only the strongest, most savage smallmouth will survive, and oh yes, they will be walleye murdering machines. Once I’m satisfied with the ferocity at which they kill baby walleyes, once they’ve proven that they can hunt them in any situation, in the light, in the dark, clear water, dirty water, once they’ve grown to have a mind only for the walleye, will I act.
Over the course of the next 10-12 years I will breed an army of these smallmouth. They will know nothing but walleye. From a young age they will learn the ways of their sires and dames, they will understand, no, they will feel with every fiber of their being what it means to be a walleye destroying force of nature.
Then, and only then, when I’m confident that my army is sufficient in size and ferociousness will I act. I need to be sure, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that they are …. inevitable. They were bred for one purpose, extermination.
And then, the hammer will fall. It won’t be noticeable at first, the common folk will be too busy blaming the DNR or the natives, but they will come to know the truth. Years will go by and the walleye population will start to plummet, studies will be done, taxpayer dollars spent, but a mystery it will remain.
But just when all hope is lost, a hero will be born, no, a hero will be MADE. Kevin Gross will rise up from the shadows. At first it will be a theory, he will struggle to garner momentum or support. At long last the smallmouth will come under the microscope, and what the DNR and their scientists find will make their skin crawl.
The DNA will be unique. Sure, they will share some traits and markers of the small mouth of the past, but something will be different, something … impossible.
Their will be a grassroots movement to remove the smallmouth at all costs, but there will be resistance. The bass anglers will unite as a stronger, more formidable host than walleye anglers could ever imagine. They will hold on just long enough for every last walleye to be removed from the lake, unable to comprehend how their catch of choice have…changed.
They will trace the smallmouth back to the inception of this plan, people will clamor for the truth. How could this happen? When did this happen? Who allowed it to come to pass? They will trace it back to the original catch, patient zero if you will. They WILL find the date, the date it all started, if they had a time machine they would find me on this date and stop this plan from coming to life. But something isn’t right, it can’t be right.
It is at this point, and only at this point, that they realize just how naive they had been. They will scour the internet and social media for clues. Someone, somewhere must have hinted at it, there MUST be evidence! No one does something like this without a motive, without leaving a trace.
That research will lead them to this post. And that is where they will find out that this has long been in motion, and it’s too late. Because this plan didn’t start right now. This plan started years ago. Every study has been staged, scientists paid off, every scrap of research towards the struggling population of walleyes over the past decade has not been a result of netting, or anglers, water clarity or temperature. The beloved and revered small mouth is responsible.
And finally it will be clear, conclusive, there is nothing their hero Kevin Gross can do to stop it now, for what has started can not be undone.
