First Time Coach Seeking Advise

Hi Guys. Another post looking for your input. My 10 year old signed up for basketball this year. We play in the yard all the time and he really enjoys it so im glad to see he signed up. This week the coordinator person sent out an email saying they needed some people to volunteer to be a coach. Now i had thought about volunteering for my kids baseball team this summer so coaching has been on my mind as my kids get more involved with sports. I have never been a coach in any capacity before. The email also stated that if no one volunteered we wouldnt be able to have a season for the kids. Well cant allow that to happen so i emailed her and said i would volunteer. What i didnt realize or i guess misunderstood is that there is no head coach. I thought i was volunteering to be an assistant. Well turns out ill be the head coach. Now thankfully another parent also volunteered so there will be two of us. I have no idea if he has any experience coaching. its a small town league and looks like we only have 7 players on the team

It seems like a lot of guys on here have kids in sports and some of you ive seen mention you coach teams yourself. What are some tips you can provide to help ensure we have a successful season? Now for me success at 10 years old is measured by how much fun they have, developing some skills and an emphasis and commitment to working together as a team. Ive looked at some channels on youtube that have some tips. It may sound corny but i also checked out the book “coaching basketball for dummies” from the library. One of the coaches on youtube said its a helpful read for first timers.

Thanks in advance

1. Have fun.
2) Teach fundamentals.
3) Teach sportsmanship.
4) Have fun.
5) Drop pro player names the kids will know as a example how to do something correctly.
6) Rotate the kids as starters. No stars at 10 years old.
7) Have fun.
8) None of them including the coaches will be pro’s.
9) Have fun.
10) Winning matters…….always.

I’ve been in the same spot for soccer and baseball. Soccer I ended up being a coach with another guy who both us combined never watched a soccer game in our life. We went out and had fun with the kids and did basically what Dutch mentioned. Baseball was different I know that game better and have been assistant coach 3 years. We push those kids from 8 to now 11, in a positive competitive direction. It’ll be easy and it will be a good time your son will always remember

Dutchboy hit the high points. Make sure parents and players understand that it’s about fun, everyone playing and developing skills. No one including the coach gets to ride the refs.

Dutch gave good advise, and it sounds like you researched and are on the right track. One other thing to add is respect, from them and to them. Be prepared for some criticism, there always seems to be a parent or 2 that will challenge a coach. Good luck and most importantly, have fun.

I commend you for volunteering. I’ve been dodging that bullet for a couple years now. I volunteer to be a the grunt every chance I get, but sometimes find myself coaching the pitchers on the baseball team, and recently at the trap range. The more you volunteer in a small town, the more you automatically get volunteered. Lol. Good luck, have fun, and don’t have any expectations. Just roll with it and see how it goes. It will be rewarding in its own ways.

The importance of teamwork seems significant. Hasn’t been mentioned here yet.

I was thrown into coaching my daughters 8U fastpitch team summer 2021 when the head coach couldn’t make 1/2 the games and practices and no one was in line to take over. It was fun but somewhat frustrating that I didn’t get any help at all from the other parents including some that were on the board. Made for really hectic practices and games for me. I was more emotionally drained from a 1.5 hour game than I was from 9 hours at work.

This past winter I was an assistant coach for my daughters 8U hockey team and we had 3 other assistant coaches and a head coach. Lots of help there but our head coach didn’t seem to know how to talk to 7-9 year olds. The kids never really understood what he was talking about so progress was slow. Most of our practices were shared with other teams so our practices were pretty well planned out ahead of time. Scheduling for the team was very last minute and communication overall was terrible.

This past summer I volunteered to be the head coach of my daughters fastpitch team and the other assistant coach is an assistant coach for our daughters hockey team. He is great at talking to kids and volunteered to do the majority of the weekly communications. On top of that, we had two more dads, fellow hockey parents, who were there almost every day helping out so it was like having 4 coaches. All the dads and coaches were great with the kids and the kids loved them all.

The biggest things about being the head coach for younger kids is making sure the kids fully understand what you are saying. Help the understand why they need to do certain things too.

Have good communication with the parents. Make sure you send them information that his correct and done in a professional way. Spelling, grammar, decisiveness, clear expectations of parents. If you need help from other parents tell them and explain that the more help you get the better the experience will be for the kids. Think of all those little frustrations you had with past coaches and don’t repeat them.

I’m being pressured into being the head coach for the 8U hockey team this winter and I’m just not all that confined that I know the game well enough to do that. I was a goalie, I stop pucks. I don’t create lines, plays and drills. I’ll probably end up doing it but I know I’ll have a ton of help from the other coaches and I already know most of the other dads.

Don’t yell at the kids and don’t get visibly mad. If you’re yelling at them you aren’t doing a good job. With boys it seems you can be a little more animated because with girls they’ll shut down at any sense of frustration.

I usually reward the kids with a totally fun drill at the end of every practice. In fastpitch we did relay races around the bases. In hockey they played tag (sharks and minnows) and dodge puck (like dodgeball with a puck). All of these are super fun and they develop skills while doing them.

I coach basketball for the 4/5 grade team at the elementary school my kids went to. Good for you for signing up and getting involved.

Personally, I enjoyed it a lot more than I thought I would.

IMO the “what to coach” when it comes to working with the kids is well covered here and by other sources. You’ll figure that out, I think that’s the easy part.

Now for the hard part… Unfortunately, for me and most coaches, I talk to, it’s dealing with the freaking parents! Ug.

Here’s what I’ve learned.

On Practice Day 1, the MANDATORY REPEAT MANDATORY meeting that at least one parent per child must attend. Make it clear to the parents that if 1 parent at least does not attend, their kid is done participating. I’m serious and let them know from the get-go that you are serious.

Here’s what I cover:
1. Sportsmanship expectations of parents. Specifically, cheer FOR our team and players. Do NOT cheer against or direct comments at the other team’s players. We have a code of conduct they have to read and sign.

I tell my parents absolutely zero tolerance for any comments directed at the refs. It is getting almost impossible to find refs due to terrible parent behavior and we are not at a point in our league where the AD/Coach gets 1 warning that refs are being abused and then if it happens again, we are out of the league for the season. It’s that bad, so I tell parents if you get on the ref’s case, your kid will be benched, and either you stop coming to games or your kid is off the team.

2. I lay out my team goals and coaching philosophy. The biggest issue I’ve had is parents expecting “equal playing time” which I don’t do. I explain how playing time is decided and also that we are in a competitive league and that means we have fun but we are also playing to win games. I provide examples of what this means.

3. I tell them what I tell the players about expectations for practice and behavior at games. We are a Catholic school, so I talk about our values and our expectations that I expect our team to be the gold standard for sportsmanship and good behavior.

The biggest thing I’ve noticed is in laying all this on the parents, it lets them know I’m in charge and I don’t take parent BS. There are a lot of entitled parents out there so being a little bit of a hardass seems to set the right tone as far as who’s running the show.

Build good human beings and Coach ALL the kids on the team. If they can learn to overcome adversity in sports it goes right to life. It’s how we show them to handle it. Have fun.

I just ran a 3 day coaching seminar with a former NHL coach and he talked many times about how we all need to continue to grow and become better teachers. Coaches are teachers.

The other point he stressed is planning. “If you are not planning a practice you are planning to fail.”

I don’t pretend to know everything. The best coaches are those who are the best learners. Every day I have ever coached I was learning something from my athletes, other coaches, from film, and mostly from struggles.

I’ve coached Football at the Varsity level, 7-8th grade level, Basketball at the JV level, and Baseball as a summer Rec volunteer. There are so many great coaching minds out there who have decades more of knowledge. I’d try to find those types of people in your area and lean on them for tips/tricks. Don’t hesitate to reach out to a JV/Varsity coach in your area and see if an athlete can come help you a few times. The age you’re working with is looking for their next idol or hero every single day.

At such a young age, your number 1 goal should be getting every one of those kids to come back out again next season. Everything else beyond that is a bonus. Create something kids want to come to and the rest will happen as it should. You’ve got the right mindset it seems. Plan out your practices, not so that they’re rigid, but so you have a little tempo and variety to mix up fun drills and challenges. The attention span of kids today is literally 5-8 minutes before they are ready for something else (thank you video games, social media, streaming services!)

Thank you for stepping up and impacting kids’ lives. Too many parents think they write checks, drop a kid off, and the magic of extra curricular activities happens with nothing else involved.

I coached at high level in baseball and hockey when I got out of college and now coach my 6 year old and most of his friends. In total almost 20 years coaching in some aspect. From T ball to AAA hockey and everything in between.
A few things that I have learned over the years.

First off thank you for volunteering. As you stated without you there may not be a team.
Yes have fun. Goes without saying. What I will say is not every minute of practice has to be about the actual sport. We play simple games that they may play in gym or what they play on the playground. Especially when you have one of those days that the kids are swirly. Who cares play tag or whatever.

Patience..nobody is Lebron James on the team. They are going to drive you nuts some days especially one or two of them that really don’t care to be there and their parents just sign them up and drop them off.

Rules…Just like a teacher boundaries and rules need to be set. If they are not they will walk all over you.
It is ok to have the kids do a lap if they are all over the place to rein them in a bit. Not saying call a kid out and making him do push ups. It’s a team thing.
Or stop practice and play freeze tag or red light green light or whatever it is they are playing in gym class. Some days kids are just not into it and that’s ok. Make due and move onto the next practice.

Have a plan…Nothing worse then having kids show up and the coach is just winging it hoping to get through the hour. Kids standing around waiting for a drill to start or instruction are not going to not pay attention. Plenty of drills online or on YouTube. Plan out the whole practice.

Keep them moving…kids in motion is a kid that don’t have time to start messing around with his buddy in line.
Stations are always good but with a small group even 2-3 stations is good. They look forward to the end of one and the start of a new one.

No matter what there will always be a parent or a couple that bitch. Ignore and move on.

Talk to them before and after practice. A minute or two to set expectations for the practice/game and to discuss how they think it went. Let them talk after you have talked.

Realize nobody is going to give you a pat on the back for doing it. It has to be something you want to do.

Commitment…can be hard at times but if you are going to do it commit to it and set that expectation to the team.

Did I mention patience. Not everyone is a coach even fewer are good coaches. The best ones are the ones that do the above and get kids to improve from the top kid to the bottom kid.

Enjoy it as a coach and parent yes I have days I don’t want to be there but it can be a hell of a lot of fun.

Just realized this may be one of my longest post ever.😀

Coached youth baseball for both my boys for a combined 10 years between the two of them. Especially for 10 yr olds in small community league, follow “the 3 F’s”

FUN
FUNDAMENTALS
FUN

At this age it’s all about the basics. Make it fun and engaging. have a traveling trophy to recognize good efforts in practice and games – We had a hard hat with the school mascot/logo on it that the kids got to pass around, we gave it to a new kid after every game in front of the team to recognize hard work and development. They didn’t need to be the MVP but if one kid who was having trouble fielding grounders fielded one and made the play, he might get recognized and get the hard hat in the post-game huddle.

In my experience, you may run into a challenging kid or two, but more challenging parents. This is an unfortunate reality in youth sports.

Assume you are coaching house league. Traveling league is a different animal, even for 10 year olds. House league is all about fun, skills development and fun. Traveling is more competition focused but still needs to be fun for all (kids, coaches and parents). It’s been a while but I coached both. Personally enjoyed house league more than traveling. Getting kids engaged and developing a love for the sport is the best thing about coaching.

Same thing happened to me and I ended up being the head coach for my son’s youth basketball team for 5 years. I wasn’t very good at it if you measured by victories, but I had fun and it was a great way to spend time with my son. Just jump in and do your best. The advice from the guys is great – most of all have fun.

One bit of advice that worked for me: Run those boys at the beginning of practice to tire them out a bit before you try and ‘coach’ them. Otherwise they’ll have a lot of pent up energy and spend time wrestling each other and stuff. heh.

good luck!

thanks everyone! IDO is an awesome community of folks! There is some really terrific advice here. Im taking down notes.

Lots of great info already, especially RipJiggen’s post and Grouse’s bit about the Refs. I would add make things competitive, occasionally among the team, but mainly within themselves. Have a stopwatch and time the warm up lap or picking up the balls at the end of practice, or one thing that is consistent and tracked by you. So even if little Tommy can’t hit the broadside of the barn he sees he is getting better at something and he will naturally want to do that more often and better, which eventually spills over to layups and defense and everything.

I have no advice, the others have that covered great job guys. Just wanted to say thank you for doing it. It’s hard to step up for stuff like this, as busy as we already are. Do it for the kids and it will all work out.

BigWerm wrote:

I would add make things competitive, occasionally among the team, but mainly within themselves.

This is a good one. My traveling hoops coach from grades 3-5 obsessively kept logs of free-throw %. Every practice, every kid shot 10 FT’s and had to report their results to coach. End of the season, the kid w/ the best FT% won a prize — one year it was an official Spaulding NBA ball, one year it was tickets to a Wolves game. You don’t need to that fancy, just get ’em engaged. We were obsessed with that competition.

I volunteered to coach my kid’s first basketball team. No kidding, I had one of the parents approach me and ask if I had my son on “the D1 track.” These were third graders.

Good for you to volunteer. At that age its all about having fun, but teaching fundamentals is key as well. I dont know a thing about basketball so no help there.

Lots of comments on trying to get the parents on track and telling the parents to have a meeting or the kid can’t play.
I agree to a point but don’t punish a kid because the parents suck. Lots of parents suck and you will see that first hand being the coach. Don’t ever not play a kid because his parents don’t show up for some “meeting”

Lots of good advice here and good parents. My boys are 13 and 16 now.. I coached them in both baseball and basketball…. I had a lot of struggles and made a lot of mistakes. 2 main reasons for those struggles ….. my own competitiveness and intensity! I played D3 basketball and my wife played D1. My goals and expectations for the kids and parents could never be achieved… Had I been honest about myself in todays youth sports world I would have never coached them in basketball at the beginning stages… i burned many bridges because i tried to change parents perceptions. parents who never played competitively don’t understand. They think you can have “fun” AND play even minutes AND win from day 1. This is what associations advertise and they gladly take anyone’s money.

baseball was a whole different experience mostly because I was more chill and learned from basketball coaching mistakes.

Here is what I would do differently in small town community basketball.

10 years olds – they know very little. they don’t understand the terminology!! please define things for them at a slow pace… not all at once (short attention span).
2.) If you can’t dribble, pass, and CATCH the ball…. you can’t play the game of basketball… please focus on these skills primarily at 10. Help them understand that just 15 minutes of pure dribbling at home a day make the most difference in the long run.
3.) simple drills to teach these basic skills – have a practice plan – and rotate these drills often. (drills that incorporate all these skills at once are awesome! ie. dribble right hand to free throw line from the baseline, jump stop, forward pivot, chest pass back to line..(change the hand of dribble, type of pivot, and type of pass))
4.) mix in practice games to emphasize these skills
5.) scrimmaging and game play at this level accomplishes very little (best players dominate and others just watch) but its what the kids will always say they want to do (especially the extroverts). Try to make them understand that WINNING is the goal and the teams that WIN have WAY more fun and they WIN by each member of the team being able to do these skills.
6.) skills skills skills and games to emphasize the skill!!! don’t waste time trying to prepare for an actual game (unless you are playing in a competitive environment with kids and parents all on the same competitive page)
7.) defense too.

things I wouldn’t change.
1.) balls are held when coaches talk or whole team runs
2.) equal playing time is the biggest mistake and failure of all sports (no matter the age or competition level) – the kids who put in work should always play more
3.) I have no idea what “just have fun” means… Winning will always be the most fun. I noticed kids on the bench when we won were happier then pigs in sh$t. (their parents were the ones butt hurt). when we played equal playing time and routinely lost, EVERYONE (players and parents) was butt hurt.
4.) if you find yourself about to say “its not about winning”, please stop. Stop lying to these kids.. Working towards winning is always what drives everything you are trying to accomplish as a coach and parent. Win the game of life! Losing is the drug that supplies the fire to never let it happen again.

loser = lose the game and blame refs, coaches, parents. they always have an excuse.

winner = lose the game and wakes up the next morning. looks in the mirror and does everything he can to never let it happen again.

good luck Crappie! the struggle helps parents grow too.

joe-winter wrote:

loser = lose the game and blame refs, coaches, parents. they always have an excuse.

winner = lose the game and wakes up the next morning. looks in the mirror and does everything he can to never let it happen again

This is pure gold Joe. Whoever started wanting to teach that winning does not matter, was obviously a lifetime looser and it is part of what is wrong with the youth today.

At that age it’s about having fun and not always about winning. Like mentioned set boundaries but make sure they are having fun and play all the kids. 2 of my boys did travel baseball last summer one was on 14u the other 11u. Night and day coaching between the 2. My son was only 13 but was able to play up due to not enough kids for 14u and only 2 13yr olds signed up and let’s just say due to the coaches he won’t be playing again this year. My youngest son is young for his grade so he didn’t make the 12u team with his school friends but was able to play 11u because of age. After the year was over all his school friends told him to try out again for 13u this year but he wants to stay with his team because of the coaches he has and has heard things about the other coaches that makes him not want to play for them. He said I would rather play and loose then sit on the bench and win.

Really great advice everyone. Again cant thank you enough.

One thing i think i have going in my favor is that there are only 7 kids on the team. I dont think ill have to worry too much about playing time with so few kids. that should help with dealing with the parents to some degree i would think. The coordinator hasnt provided the rules this league will go by though so i have no idea if they will have shortened time periods or courts or, well basically i dont have any details yet.

Based off of some of your comments and what i envision is important i think i want to stress a few things. My 3 pillars so to speak will be:

1. Commitment to teamwork. We win as a team. We lose as a team. We work
together as a team

2. Skill Development

3. Have fun

Along with stressing these “pillars”. I want to emphasis to the parents and players that we are not to berate the refs or the opponents. This will not be tolerated. Kids learn from adults and as the coaches and adults we need to teach them sportsmanship and respect.

Some really terrific ideas here. Im gonna look to implement them

sorry to hear about your experience Stanley… What I tell my boys is that Mike Trout will play for any coach. Mike Trout got there 1 way. As an honest parent you can try to put them in the best situation for their skill level. From a child level they should try to be Mike Trout. pure and simple. no excuses.

I was the “head” of a HS trap shooting team for its first several years. I was full volunteer as were any who helped.

1. Your biggest problem will be your PARENTS hands down. Everyone has their own opinions and all too many are not afraid to share them… You can generally nip most of their ideas in the bud by asking them to “help get that going for us”. Everyone wants to add input but VERY few will ever give their time.

2. Make it known OFTEN that you and any other coaches are 100% volunteer. Not because you want the parents to give you compensation but to make sure they know you are not getting a dime of their registration cost and you are doing this 100% out of the goodness of your heart. It also helps to prevent problems with #1…

joe-winter wrote:

sorry to hear about your experience Stanley… What I tell my boys is that Mike Trout will play for any coach. Mike Trout got there 1 way. As an honest parent you can try to put them in the best situation for their skill level. From a child level they should try to be Mike Trout. pure and simple. no excuses.

My 13yr old isn’t the best athlete and I know that and expected him to not play as much which was fine but this was his first year with travel baseball and what did it for me was when the head coach told him he was “sucking at batting” and he didn’t bat once in a 3 game tournament. Also his 14u team went 3-11 for the season so I would say there was lots of room for improvement with all the players. I know sports are competitive especially as the kids get older but I jut felt the coach handled the situation wrong.

Stanley wrote:

I know sports are competitive especially as the kids get older but I jut felt the coach handled the situation wrong.

And your right. He could have handled it a lot better. These kids still need to learn there is a winner and a looser in sports and life in general. Sorry that coach sucked at his job and it hurt your son.

As a lifelong “loser”, call me the hippie guy who thinks winning is a crock of crap at that particular age. Age is very relative to this discussion as the intensity and competitiveness goes up as the skill level does. It’s a freaking shame youth sports under the high school level has become so involved and competitive it’s turned away many parents, and in turn their kids, to sports, or as has been reiterated dozens of times thus far in this very thread wayyyy to involved to where many parents just need to take a chill pill.

Most everyone should know by now this isn’t Hollywood where you have some underdog team suddenly winning national championships, certain areas have certain talent pools and there’s only so much development you can do in your short time with them. Sometimes you just suck, it’s ok to suck, making gains with yourself and as a team is what’s important.

Best of luck to ya this year.

#makebeingakidfunagain