What would be the main difference in performance on these 2 rifles? I have used my slug gun my whole life so know little about rifles, but know want to set up my wife and son with a rifle. Would the damage/knockdown power be similar?
Well, they are quite different. The two calibers you mentioned, is like comparing apples to oranges.
30/30 is a slower, heavier round that is typically set up in a lever action type brush gun. Lots of knock down power for deer.
.243 is a quick, smaller round, that is very popular for deer hunters of all ages. Typically lower recoil, and greater accuracy at longer ranges.
.243 will offer more variety of gun types such as bolt or single shot, when compared to a 30-30.
I would go with a .243, or a .270.
.270 for the win, we’ve taken deer, bear, and elk with this caliber.
I have never used one but look at a 7mm/08 I think this would be a better choice than either the 30/30 or .243 for deer.
I bet it is safe to say that more deer have been taken with a 30/30 than any other caliber. I have a .270 and a bolt action 30/30 carbine. I like them both for different reasons, but when hunting the North woods of WI, 90% of the time I have the 30/30 in hand.
Of the two, I would go with the .243 as it is a very versatile round for medium game, and very recoil friendly. My 13 year old daughter shoots a .270 pump and bolt. At age 12, she had a difficult time with holding it steady, so she had shooting sticks and a bi-pod. Just the 1 year later, I had her out shooting at moving targets and her free hand style is improving by leaps and bounds. If you thinking the .243 only for the recoil reasoning with a child, you may want to think about a .270 or similar. They will grow into a larger caliber in a short span of time. Only you know what is on the horizon as far as hunting other game (muly, elk, antelope,…) and typicly a rifle is something you have for many years
I also recommend the .270. I have a Savage and it’s the best gun I’ve ever shot. I did hunt with a 30/30 for a few years, but the .270 is much more versatile.
To answer the OP’s question… I would definitely say .243 over the 30-30 unless your sitting in slashings and can only see 50 feet.
I own a Savage .270 and love it… but my next rifle would be a 7mm-08.
Take the 243, you might as well use your shotgun if you plan on the 30-30
I would agree with grump in that you may want to consider 7mm-08, my nephew has shot that gun since he was little. Bolt action, very light and reliable. 
Despite the large performance difference between the two calibers, there is a nitch area that I would prefer a 30/30. If you are hunting some think nasty stuff a 30/30 will bust brush at short range much better then a .243, but if your not hunting close quarters and dense cover i would suggest the .243 or .270.
The 30-30 and the .243 are great guns, but the safer of the two is the .243. The 30-30 hammer may be a tricky thing for a young hunter to manage. Ive put an extention on mine to make it a little easier, but if your not careful , your finger could still slip. A bolt action much safer.
Walleyebry
.243 hands down! I have 4 of these in different configurations and love them all. Great little gun that will do it all! My favorite is a Savage American Classic in .243. It has a detachable magazine and accutrigger that I’ve shot pronghorn out to 520 yards and coyotes out to over 400 yards. Very accurate! No recoil! Very fun to shoot! 
7mm/08 or .308 are my picks hands down. However, between 30/30 and .243, id go with the .243.
I bought my son a Marlin Youth .243 last year. It is a sweet little gun. I will probably use it for yotes this winter also. Even though it is a youth size it still feels great for me when I put it up. He shot a large doe with it last year at about 100 yards and it hammered it. It went about 75 yards, but he didn’t make the best shot.
DT
I wouldnt buy a 30-30 for the cartridge/caliber/balistics. I would only buy one for its appearance and the sake of owning a cool lever action. Luckily my dad handed his 1946 Winchester Model 94 down to me. Beautiful old gun I still use from time to time. If you want a shooting gun the .243 is the one out of those two choices. Also the safety factor mentioned for the lever actions is something to consider for novice shooters. Definitely something that cannot EVER be overlooked.
Of the two your choosing from> no doubt about it> the .243 
You will have just so many more hunting and target shooting options. You’ll never regret it.
In my opinion the .243 is the best whitetail caliber made. I own two and have never had a deer make it out of sight once shot.
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