Dads of In-DepthOutdoors

My wife and I are expecting our first child. If I could get your thoughts on baby things that were worth the money, and saved your sanity. Thanks

Plane ticket for mother in law so she can come stay for the 1st week or so.

If you can afford it have your wife be a house mother for the first 5 years to get your child in pre-school or kindergarden. I think raising a child at home is better had a child-care center. Love them from the bad days to the good days. Good luck!!!!

Start a 529 for collage, take lots of video and pics because they grow fast.

Video monitor without a doubt, saves going in the room and disturbing the child. Be prepared to save your wife from herself, mine would run into his room at every whimper so I finally took the monitor away and slept on a different room for a few weeks while she put ear plugs in. First night he screamed for over an hour but in two weeks I had him sleeping thru the night.

Cloth diapers. Saved thousands on diapers by washing. may sound gross and lobor intensive but It was really not that bad. Many brands out there but we liked BestBottom. They potty train much faster too. Zander in almost 2 and rarely has a potty accident.

Start putting him/her on the potty at 6 mo. to get used to it before and after eating.

When it comes time, monitor the amount a sugar and salt in the “kids foods”, quite a few are completely crap. Equivalent to eating at McDonalds. We got Z started on real food (same as we were eating but mashed or cut tiny) at 6mo. It takes a bit of planning when traveling to pack some good food in a cooler but only a few minutes.

Looking back, its been both a long and short 2 years.

depending on how far along she is, 2 books 1. What to Expect when your Expecting & 2. What to Expect the first Year.
These two books are very good in a general sense to reference for what is normal. My wife had NO family or support other than when i was home and it was a real help.

A great baby sitter. Make the time to get alone with your wife once in a while. Even if its just getting away for 1 hour. She’ll appreciate it.

Car seats that are EASY to put in and out of a vehicle. I had many moments of wanting to strangle the living crap out of the engineer that designed a couple of the seats we had.

Cloth diapers for a lot of things. Best burp rags in the world. They are durable, last a heck of a long time, and make great wash rags when they are no longer needed.

Unless you like blowing money on new stuff, search for used on bassinets, car seats, crib………. so many great deals out there.

Just one other suggestion not related to this. If you want to have it easier later with the kid, structure and routine is your best friend! From day one, follow a routine and you will be very grateful. BTW, make noise while the kids sleeping so you don’t need a “quiet” house.

Good point Mark brought up, we got a mini blender from someone as a baby gift, came in real handy to blend up veggies and such and then stored them in some freezer containers that came with the blender, that worked well till he could start eating the actual veggies/fruits without grinding them up.

Bottle warmer came in quite handy too, but it was pretty much shot by about 6-7 months.

Many of the new gadgets, toys, etc are great but some of the very old tricks work well too… It’s just that people forget about them.

I raised 3 pretty good kids but there were times when they were infants that it was tough to get them down to sleep at nap time or bed time. Getting them into a regular sleeping pattern is key for them (and your own sanity).

My mom is a long retired Mayo Clinic/St.Mary’s OB/Pediatric nurse. One time she was staying with us and we were having a particular tough time getting one of the infants to sleep, she took over. She fed, diapered and wrapped the baby up in blankets and put him in his carrier and placed him on the stove directly below the exhaust fan. Baby had been crying for an hour. Gramma flipped on the exhaust fan overhead and eventually the baby stared up at it and stopped crying. Within a few minutes, out like a light.

This didn’t always work, but for all 3 kids I think it worked 80+% of the time. Inexpensive and yet invaluable.

Boppy pillow, invaluable. Can’t stress out the casting arm on a baby ya know…

I would also have to say that a video monitor is priceless. Our daughters room is on a different level than our room and that was the way that I got my wife convinced that we could move her to her own room was with the video monitor, and it works awesome. I know we would rush in and wake her up a lot if we couldn’t see her all the time with the monitor.

Some good ideas above.

I think establishing good sleeping habits is very important along with creating a routine for them. Once on a routine and they sleep well, you will sleep well. A small fan for white noise is a great idea also.

Another thought is to have Dad be the one to get up if you baby needs anything other than to be fed. Once they realize Mom is not going to come every time it makes putting them to sleep easier.

Here is the routine we followed for our two kids

Bath
Feeding
Read to
Dad puts them down to sleep for the night

Good luck

FryDog62 wrote:

Really? Put the child on the stove?

The fan just provides white noise. A cheap fan next to the crib does the exact same thing without the possible f-up factor.

As the father of an 11 month old I can second most of what others have said… searching on craigslist for strollers, bassinets, swings, cloths, etc. will save you hundreds if not thousands of $$. Now is the time to do it, once you’ve got the kid you’re going to find out it is a million times harder to find free time. This also applies to any other projects around the house, get as much done now as you possibly can because once the kid comes you’ll want to spend all of your time either with the kid or trying to catch up on sleep

Adding to the blender idea, my wife bought a Ninja brand small blender and it works fantastic for blending steamed veggies. Plus it’s very easy to take apart and clean.

Sleep is going to become the most important thing in both you and his life for the next 6 months. One misconception that I always had was that a baby will just fall asleep when their tired… I was very wrong, as others have said it is going to be up to you to set a sleep schedule and stick to it, if they get over tired it will make getting him to sleep infinitely more difficult.

In regards to the noise discussion look amazon and pick up something called a Dohm sound conditioner… It’s worth its weight in gold.

Another thing that helped us immensely was a battery/outlet powered swing that allowed him and I to get much more sleep than we ever would have before. Also, when putting him to bed as an infant there is a technique called the “football” hold which for many kids works like magic to hold them laying on their stomach instead of their back.

And lastly like has already been said, don’t forget to take lots of pics and videos and enjoy the ride.

I second a good routine. We didn’t lay with the kids they quickly learned that bedtime is bedtime. This is helpful as they get older it still give you some time for you and the wife. Which should go with out saying.

The most important thing a father can do for his children is to love their mother.

Gas Drops!!!
You don’t need a fancy baby monitor with the camera either. Save yourself the money. for fishing things!

As a father of a 7 month old…

Make sure you and your wife get out one night or even a lunch without the kid at about 2-3 months. With everything going on you kinda forget you are even are married and are so tired and cranky that you don’t realize you need some connection again.

All the other advice people have said is great too. Garage sales are good for clothes because truly the kid wears them twice then they are too tight for him.

Toys you don’t need to go over board. My kids favorite toy is a cell phone cover right now…

I forgot about the swing, that thing really helped out too. Get/find one that can plug into the wall, or get a slamming deal on a battery one because they (at least ours) ate batteries like candy.

Will Roseberg wrote:

Also, when putting him to bed as an infant there is a technique called the “football” hold which for many kids works like magic to hold them laying on their stomach instead of their back.

That is one of the “5 S’s”. Swaddling, shushing, swinging, side carry, and sucking. Go to the library and check out “The Happiest Baby On The Block”. Learn the techniques described in the DVD and your kid will never cry for more than a minute unless there is something seriously medically wrong.

Also, get a Diaper Genie.

1. Relax. No, really. Relax. Both you and your wife. Take a breath. In our culture, somehow, some way, the process of having children became something to worry about, something to research to death, something to test for and to monitor with hyper-vigilance. This can become very destructive and take an emotional toll that is unhealthy for the mother, father AND the child.

Women are designed to have children. It is 100% natural. There’s nothing NEEDED other than time and whatever makes the mother more comfortable in the VAST majority of deliveries.

Also, know that the vast majority of delivery complications are INCREDIBLY rare. In speaking to the OB/GYN that delivered our two boys, he said that in over 15 years and thousands of deliveries, he has only had 3 significant complication incidents happen during birth. All of those babies and mothers survived. Bottom line is don’t worry because it won’t happen.

2. Having a baby generally involves a lot of standing/sitting/laying around waiting for something to happen. Sometimes they come very quickly, but often the come very, very slowwwwwwwwwwwwwly too.

Be patient when it comes “time” for the baby to be born. Understand that neither you nor your wife can “plan” the delivery. You can have a plan, but the baby won’t stick to it. They come when they want to.

– There is no “wrong” way to have children. Don’t be bullied into doing anything because someone says “it’s a better way” and presents some cherry-picked statistics to “prove” it. There is a whole industry out there that sells to new parents, all on the premise that “my way is a better way”. Don’t buy it. Do what you want to do for your own reasons.

Once baby is born:

– Protect your sleep by taking “shifts” whenever possible. One parent stays in bed while the other tends to the little one whenever possible. If you both get up every time, you’ll both be exhausted all the time.

– I would second the suggestion of using Craigslist. We saved thousands by buying a crib, rocker, toys, and many, many other things on CL for pennies on the dollar. Do not fall for the “HyperSafety Paranoia” that seems to be out there that says anything for babies that is used is somehow “unsafe”. Anything that is used by children is exhaustively safety tested, yet a certain kind of person seems to thrive on blabbing on the internet with invented reasons why something is unsafe just by thinking of what “could” happen. Use common sense, that’s all that’s needed.

– Excellent comment by Randy re car seats. Most seats are designed by women with little needle fingers and tiny hands. Ease of installation is HUGE. If you try it and it sucks to install, return the POS and get something that works for DAD!

Also, have car seats for both cars or have the “fast lock” bases in both cars so you can click and go.

– McClearen strollers. Totally worth it. Get one.

– Totally agree re getting a good baby monitor. Be sure to adjust the security settings so the signal cannot be picked up by anyone else.

– The hand blender is also a great option for whipping up baby food. Freeze the food into “pucks” using a silicone plastic mini muffin tray. My wife made pounds and pounds of baby food for our two little ones for very little cost.

Grouse

Thanks and keep the advice coming! We are at the point were we can feel the baby move. Reality has set in! I have read the books but getting first hand advice from similar people has to be the best!

Right Randy, and garage sales and more garage sales. Theres loads of people who have baby cloths at them and sell them reasonably cheap compared to new cloths. Why because they grow so fast you’ll be able to save a ton. Cloth diapers are also cheap to use because all you have to do is clean them along with a few gags lols. We started our kids, during and after they had the nutritious powdered suppliment, with blended what we ate in a food processor, and they grew like weeds. Don’t pick your kids up with every wimper, it spoils them rotten and give them time to cry themselves asleep, don’t worry about it they will be ok.
Take mom out once in awhile like every couple weeks so she can have a break, you might have to pull her away from your kid but do it. A good baby sitter is a must so both you and mom can have a (break and enjoy yourselves), its also a must. Take lots of pictures or videos, because in a flash they will be 18 years old and out of the house, both of mine were. Push them to get a job as soon as they want the nicer things, tell them to lie their age, and it gets them started early in what its like to work for what they want and need, then old dad and mom can just wax the car…

Forgot and was a real tension saver, like said above get a baby swing, it will save loads of moms hours trying to get the young one asleep, its one of mans best inventions when it comes to babys.

Let me know if your interested in what you DON’T need. I’m an expert at that.

Mum2Mum sleeved wonder bibs. Awesome items.
http://www.mum2mum.com/Wonder-Bibs/Sleeved

Our second boy is coming in two weeks. The tension and anxiety is starting to build around here.

gary d wrote:

If you can afford it have your wife be a house mother for the first 5 years to get your child in pre-school or kindergarden. I think raising a child at home is better had a child-care center. Love them from the bad days to the good days. Good luck!!!!

We vote just the opposite. We kept Dominic out of daycare for the first two years of his life. Within a week of being in daycare we noticed a HUGE difference in his speech, reactions, attitude, etc. They learn so much socializing and learning from their peers. It was amazing.

It’s been a year since we put him in daycare and we still comment weekly, “Where did he learn that?”, “Wow, listen to him talk.”, etc.

All good ideas above – I actually liked reading through them, brought me back a little, my youngest is now 5 and she is sassy as a teenager, might also be that I am totally wrapped around her finger. lol

About the only thing I would add (I/we my wife and I missed at the time of our first born but we figured it out pretty quick) was sitting down with each other and talking about different situations and handling them – it will help tremendously when you both are on the same page, and continue to discuss this as the kids get older especially when they learn how to play mom and dad against each other. You aren’t going to agree on everything but knowing/having a good idea of where the other one stands will help.

And seriously have fun, enjoy and live up every single moment with the newborns it is such an amazing time in all your lives. It amazed me and still does to this day how much my outlook on life and the way I lived day to day was altered the day my kids were born – it’s unexplainable, but I can tell you this – you are no longer No. 1 and never will be again.

Good luck to you and your wife.

A lot of great information given out already. Being we are relatively new at being a parents (4 mos), I will also second the vote for both hitting garage sales, and the video monitor. My wife and I have scored some really good deals on things that you can tell were worn, or used rarely.

One of the things I will say, and maybe not everyone will agree with it, is to take time for yourself, we like to call it “me time” at our house. As fun and exciting as it is to have a new baby at home, it can also be stressful and wear on everyone at times. I’m certainly not saying bail the second you have him/her home from the hospital, but give it a while (couple weeks/months) for everyone to get comfortable to their new lives. Use the time allowed to yourself to do whatever you like. I usually spend it in the garage working with something, or consider being at the fire department for training to be that time. My wife joined a bean bag (corn hole) league for the summer and uses that time for herself.

Oh, and the sound machine/s are great, but we actually downloaded an app on our phones and ipad that works similar to them and it works great at nap and bed times.

Zach Peterson wrote:

A lot of great information given out already. Being we are relatively new at being a parents (4 mos), I will also second the vote for both hitting garage sales, and the video monitor. My wife and I have scored some really good deals on things that you can tell were worn, or used rarely.

Great suggestion and totally agree. I’m gob-smacked at the absolutely MASSIVE amount of clothing people buy for kids. Considering the rate kids grow, it’s completely ridiculous to me. We literally go to sale after sale where there will be 15-20 of the same item in the same size! Like 20 sweatshirts all in the same size. WTF?

But it makes for awesome garage sale buys! Bad for them, totally awesome for us. We’ve filled bags and bags at some of the sales, clothing, toys, whatever.

We were at one particularly egregious sale in Woodbury where the people had rack after rack of pink little girl clothing. We were there in the afternoon and they still had dozens of outfits in each size. I talked to the people and they said they had an initial rush, but then it had been pretty quite. Not looking forward to packing all this up, etc, etc.

Of course, we have two boys, so nothing of use to us directly.

So what did I do? Well, we’ve been donating everything baby-related to a St. Paul charity called Joseph’s Coat. They run a free store on 7th street that is used by a lot of working folks that can’t afford everything they need.

So I offered them $100 for about 200 little girls outfits on 4 racks and I donated them all to Joseph’s Coat. They almost fell all over themselves helping me load the stuff, they were so happy to not have to pack all that stuff back up again. I made a major error here, I should have offered $200 for everything left at the sale. They’d have gone for that for sure.

Now there’s a guy who can’t resist a bargain.

Grouse

Grouse

Another vote for personal time. We purposely chose to stay close to my parents, versus Her parents. Simply because my parents are very eager to take the kids off our hands. This allows for us to do our own personal hobbies, plus do things as a couple. It is a huge stress reducer.