Chuck Norris Jokes for Hump Day Humor

  • James Holst
    Keymaster
    SE Minnesota
    Posts: 18926
    September 2, 2015 at 9:15 pm #1563652
    wkw wrote:

    When Chuck Norris left for grade school he told his Dad,
    ” Ok, You’re the man of the house now. “

    Definitely my fave so far. waytogo

    James Holst
    Keymaster
    SE Minnesota
    Posts: 18926
    September 2, 2015 at 9:15 pm #1563653
    wkw wrote:

    When Chuck Norris left for grade school he told his Dad,
    ” Ok, You’re the man of the house now. “

    Definitely my fave so far. waytogo

    James Holst
    Keymaster
    SE Minnesota
    Posts: 18926
    September 2, 2015 at 9:17 pm #1563655

    rotflol

    Apparently mashing on the post button repeatedly isn’t such a good idea. whistling I could go back and delete all the extra posts but I’m going to leave them and own my shame.

    Chance R.
    South Central S.D.
    Posts: 114
    September 3, 2015 at 12:20 am #1563673

    Hahaha nice one james!

    When Alexander Bell created the telephone he had 3 missed calls from Chuck Norris!

    mplspug
    Palmetto, Florida
    Posts: 25026
    September 3, 2015 at 5:31 am #1563680
    belletaine wrote:

    Ok, now you’re just making sh!t up!

    I made them all up.

    James Holst replies on 5s so beings in all the dimensions can read it.

    OK, that was a really weak try by me.

    belletaine
    Nevis, MN
    Posts: 5116
    September 3, 2015 at 7:56 am #1563700
    mplspug wrote:

    <div class=”d4p-bbt-quote-title”>belletaine wrote:</div>
    Ok, now you’re just making sh!t up!

    I made them all up.

    James Holst replies on 5s so beings in all the dimensions can read it.

    OK, that was a really weak try by me.

    Kinda like staying at a party about a half hour too long. devil

    Cp3
    Hammond, WI
    Posts: 314
    September 3, 2015 at 8:15 am #1563707

    Chuck Norris doesn’t dial the wrong number, you pick up the wrong phone.

    Boogerbreath
    Bemidji, MN
    Posts: 432
    September 3, 2015 at 8:20 am #1563709

    Chuck Norris can cut through hot knife with butter.

    Ha! (sorry if a repeat)

    loonswail
    Ankeny, IA
    Posts: 237
    September 3, 2015 at 9:53 am #1563745

    I’m afraid to ask😬. Who is Chuck Norris? Please don’t tell him I asked😉. I never knew there was or is(?) such things as ‘Chuck Norris’ jokes!!

    Brian Klawitter
    Keymaster
    Minnesota/Wisconsin Mississippi River
    Posts: 59992
    September 3, 2015 at 10:28 am #1563751
    James Holst wrote:

    :rotflol:

    Apparently mashing on the post button repeatedly isn’t such a good idea. :whistling: I could go back and delete all the extra posts but I’m going to leave them and own my shame.

    When Chuck Norris creates a post, with each click he get 50 duplicate posts. whistling

    Cp3
    Hammond, WI
    Posts: 314
    September 3, 2015 at 10:29 am #1563752
    loonswail wrote:

    I’m afraid to ask😬. Who is Chuck Norris? Please don’t tell him I asked😉. I never knew there was or is(?) such things as ‘Chuck Norris’ jokes!!

    Not jokes… FACTS mrgreen

    Cp3
    Hammond, WI
    Posts: 314
    September 3, 2015 at 11:42 am #1563780

    Bruce Lee was reincarnated as Chuck Norris’ beard.

    Kings buy Chuck Norris size beds.

    Chuck Norris puts the “laughter” in “manslaughter”.

    Chuck Norris hates Raymond.

    Brian Klawitter
    Keymaster
    Minnesota/Wisconsin Mississippi River
    Posts: 59992
    September 3, 2015 at 11:48 am #1563784

    Chuck Norris doesn’t net fish, he sucks the water out of the lake.

    Brian Klawitter
    Keymaster
    Minnesota/Wisconsin Mississippi River
    Posts: 59992
    September 3, 2015 at 11:48 am #1563785

    Hey, if Pug can do it…

    Dan
    Southeast MN
    Posts: 3774
    September 3, 2015 at 11:52 am #1563788

    Chuck Norris kept a walleye on Mille Lacs in September.

    Cp3
    Hammond, WI
    Posts: 314
    September 3, 2015 at 11:53 am #1563789

    Chuck Norris James Holst doesn’t worry about high gas prices. His vehicles run on fear.

    mplspug
    Palmetto, Florida
    Posts: 25026
    September 3, 2015 at 12:10 pm #1563793

    Chuck Norris got into a staring contest with a statue…and won!

    Dan
    Southeast MN
    Posts: 3774
    September 3, 2015 at 12:16 pm #1563796

    Chuck Norris is allowed to net walleye on Mille Lacs…with his beard.

    nhamm
    Inactive
    Robbinsdale
    Posts: 7348
    September 3, 2015 at 12:16 pm #1563797
    Brian Klawitter wrote:

    Chuck Norris doesn’t net fish, he sucks the water out of the lake.

    Hilarious! jester

    diesel
    Menomonee Falls, WI
    Posts: 1020
    September 3, 2015 at 12:29 pm #1563801

    Yall are killing me… Got to get some work done today!!!

    Randy Wieland
    Lebanon. WI
    Posts: 13469
    September 3, 2015 at 12:56 pm #1563804

    Chuck Norris is so incredibly accurate….he doesn’t need to aim

    Attachments:

    1. CN-bullets.jpg

    Randy Wieland
    Lebanon. WI
    Posts: 13469
    September 3, 2015 at 12:56 pm #1563806
    diesel wrote:

    Yall are killing me… Got to get some work done today!!!

    Best joke so far today jester jester jester jester jester

    mplspug
    Palmetto, Florida
    Posts: 25026
    September 3, 2015 at 1:00 pm #1563809
    Dan wrote:

    Chuck Norris is allowed to net walleye on Mille Lacs…with his beard.

    False. Chuck Norris doesn’t need permission to do anything.

    Randy Wieland
    Lebanon. WI
    Posts: 13469
    September 3, 2015 at 1:15 pm #1563812

    Forest Warrior was an autobiography on Chuck Norris being able to transform into a bear, wolf or eagle.

    Randy Wieland
    Lebanon. WI
    Posts: 13469
    September 3, 2015 at 1:25 pm #1563815

    When Chuck Norris wants to watch a comedy special, he watches Stephen Seagal movies

    Cp3
    Hammond, WI
    Posts: 314
    September 3, 2015 at 1:41 pm #1563820
    Randy Wieland wrote:

    When Chuck Norris wants to watch a comedy special, he watches Stephen Seagal movies

    Now that one is funny!

    GEEMAN
    Fort Atkinson , WI
    Posts: 281
    September 4, 2015 at 6:21 pm #1564076

    Chuck Norris doesn’t sleep, he waits.

    Chuck Norris is so fast that he can slam a revolving door.

    Chuck Norris is so fast that he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.

    Willy D
    Nipawin, SK
    Posts: 209
    September 5, 2015 at 6:57 am #1564101

    There is no theory of evolution. Just creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live.

    When Google has a question they “Norris” it

    FryDog62
    Posts: 3696
    September 6, 2015 at 10:28 am #1564204

    Chuck Norris’ toupee is the recycled Bigfoot from when the beast teased Chuck about his thinning hairline. There have been no sightings of Bigfoot since..

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