Chuck Norris jokes just randomly popped into my head and I thought I’d start a thread where people can share their favorites. C’mon, I know you’ve all heard a few….
“Chuck Norris went to the Virgin Islands. After he was done they are now just called “The Islands.”
chuck norris doesnt flush the toilet,he scares the crap out of it.
Chuck Norris doesn’t do push ups, he pushes the Earth down.
Nuff said 
There used to be a street named after Chuck Norris, but it was renamed because nobody crosses Chuck Norris and lives.
Chuck Norris once pushed a hole in the ground that hole is now known as hell.
Chuck Norris created creation. TRUE STORY
When Chuck enters a room, it explodes. not one building can hold that much awesome.
C’MON, really?? Nothing stops a STIHL 
–jerr
Chuck Norris gave up fishing a long time ago. You can thank him now.
Chuck Norris can speak French… In Russian.
Chuck Norris knows where you live…
…he just doesn’t care.
Death once had a near-Chuck-Norris experience.
Every night the boogeyman checks under his bed for Chuck Norris.
One of my favorites….
“Chuck Norris’s tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried”
Fear of spiders is called arachnophobia, fear of tight spaces is called claustrophobia, and fear of Chuck Norris is just plain logic.
Chuck Norris threw a grenade and killed 50 people, then it exploded.
Chuck Norris can kill your imaginary friends.
When Chuck Norris was born he drove his mom home from the hospital.
Brett Favre can throw a football over 50 yards. Chuck Norris can throw Brett Favre even further.
The reason newborn babies cry is because they know they have just entered a world with Chuck Norris.
Giraffes were created when Chuck Norris uppercutted a horse.
When Chuck Norris enters a room, he doesn’t turn the lights on, he turns the dark off.
“Giraffes were created when Chuck Norris uppercutted a horse.”
Some great ones, but that gets my vote as funniest!
A bulletproof vest wears Chuck Norris for protection.
Chuck Norris can hear sign language.
Once a cobra bit Chuck Norris’ leg. After five days of excruciating pain, the cobra died.
Chuck Norris was once on Celebrity Wheel of Fortune and was the first to spin. The next 29 minutes of the show consisted of everyone standing around awkwardly, waiting for the wheel to stop.
Big foot claims he saw Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris counted to infinity… twice.
Jesus can walk on water, Chuck Norris can swim on land.
Little boys pee their name in the snow, Chuck Norris pees his name in concrete.
If a tree falls in the forest, Chuck Norris willed it…and heard it.
Q: What came first, the chicken or the egg?
A: Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris created all 32 letters of the alphabet.
Q: What came first, the chicken or the egg?
A: Chuck Norris
Ok, now you’re just making sh!t up! 
When Chuck Norris left for grade school he told his Dad,
” Ok, You’re the man of the house now. “
When Chuck Norris was born, he slapped the doctor.
@debbiedallas
Chuck Norris could have Debbie Dallas wax his truck, boat, dog, house and self with one flex.
When Chuck Norris left for grade school he told his Dad,
” Ok, You’re the man of the house now. “
Definitely my fave so far. 
When Chuck Norris left for grade school he told his Dad,
” Ok, You’re the man of the house now. “
Definitely my fave so far.
When Chuck Norris left for grade school he told his Dad,
” Ok, You’re the man of the house now. “
Definitely my fave so far.
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