Best Ramp Stories – names removed to protect the not-so-innocent.

I love reading all these story’s, please guys keep them coming!

I like these recounts of visual comedy effects. I will retell the same one I have seen.

So anyways it was at the one of the public launch that was busy popular. Saw an older couple backing down the ramp. They stop the, husband then gets out. Ties rope to boat. Then tells wife to come out and hold the rope. She steps out of the drivers side. Then they both just stood there. Watching the whole rig slowly back itself down. It’s not like they were yelling or anything, they just stood there calmly. I was seeing this happening from a distance and wondering why they they kept backing down the ramp and the front wheels of the Suburban is in the water. Boat is floating.

Then a minute passes by, I now noticed the whole vehical is up to the hood deep in water. I see both of them holding the rope still standing there calmly. Now there’s a crowd gathering, all just standing, watching…

Loading my buddies boat at the garrison ramp on mille lacs. 3 buddies in an old 16ft alumacraft. One backs the trailer in, the other doesn’t like how it’s done, they start yelling. The guy in the boat goes to load it, can’t get it centered, now all 3 are yelling. Within a minute there’s fists flying and the 3 of them are on the ground beating the heck out of each other. A number of witnesses break it up, but it was good for some bruises and bloody noses.

They must not have caught many fish that day to be so wound up.

At the landing just downstream of lock 7 we get back to the ramp after a day out on the river and these 3 guys are backing their boat in, they get it in the water and the backend starts to sink when they realize they forgot the tie down straps so out they go.

They must have got overly worried about having the boat strapped cause one of the guys took off the bow rope and on the way back down for round two they dumped the entire boat on the ramp (they had a roller trailer). Two other guys on the ramp and I all head over and we had to lift/drag the boat off the ramp and into the water after we got done laughing about it.

Better bust out your reading glasses this is a long one.

Our next door neighbor is a real winner from an upper white collar family, who can’t tell the difference from a screw or a nail; seriously we had to lend him a drill cause he was trying to pound a screw in with a hammer. They built this monster of a cabin on two lots next to ours and all the new toys to boot. My dad an I just finished fishing in the morning and were waiting at the launch to load our boat and around comes our neighbor getting ready to load his boat for its maiden voyage. After about the 15th try he finally lines it up and gets it in the water and proceeds to tell his wife get out and hold the rope. As he backs his boat in his wife is too busy playing with her phone to notice the boat slowly floating away, since the brand new rope wasn’t tied to anything on the boat. They both catch on around the same time, the boat is free floating and all hell breaks loose. The wife starts screaming at her husband that the boat is loose, the husband is already half down the dock, after hopping out of his SUV to catch his boat. He makes to the end of the dock only to realize the boat is too far away to jump. As he is stands there dumbfounded there’s a loud “BANG” just as the SUV door catches the edge of the dock and folds all the way to the front fender. The husband goes running full tilt back to the SUV knocking his wife off the dock and into the lake. By the time he’s back in the SUV it’s half full of water. As it’s driven back up the ramp Dad and I are busting a gut laughing with tears streaming from our eyes. The wife is still on the water screaming bloody murder even though it’s only 3 ft deep. After we calmed down we go retrieve his boat for the poor guy. His wife who’s cover in weeds and running eyeliner looking like a creature from the black lagoon, is tearing him a new one. Once the boat is back the husband opens up the rear hatch of his SUV and all the beach toys and gear comes pouring out down the ramp and into the water. Needless to say Dad and I are laughing so hard we decided to head back out fishing to calm down after that fiasco.

I think I can summarize one of my experiences with one simple sentence: the skeg broke the boats fall.
You get the picture.

I am surprised every weekend I go to the lake on how clueless some guys are on unloading/loading a boat. You would think one would have enough common sense to know that you cannot totally unhook your boat if it is on a roller trailer.

I heard a story about “some guy” who went to launch his boat one early spring day and forgot to tie his lead rope off to the trailer. Pulled the trailer up and boat kept on floating off. Fortunately the ramp this story happened at was shallow so he was able to wade out in the chest deep water to retrive it. I would imagine that ‘that guy’ probably re-trailered and went home to change into some dryer clothes as it wasnt overly warm.

I also heard that there was apparently no witnesses at the landing to see this though, so maybe it didn’t really happen. . .

busse3775 wrote:

I am surprised every weekend I go to the lake on how clueless some guys are on unloading/loading a boat. You would think one would have enough common sense to know that you cannot totally unhook your boat if it is on a roller trailer.

I launch about 6 days a week and live within eyesight of the landing.

I probably see someone forget the plug 4x each week.

Seen plenty of ” new boat owners” clueless at the ramp.

1 of 5 boat owners can actually drive onto a trailer.

3 of 5 boat owners get in the water to load their boat.

4 of 5 boat owners have no clue as to perfect trailer depth.

I get an applause at least 3x a week from boats waiting for flying in/out of the landing in record time.

2-4x a week I reposition the dock due to people slamming into it.

No shortage of entertainment in Prescott.

Thanks for the stories!!

I’ve seen a ton of funny, and sometimes ridiculous, stuff at the ramps over the years so I’ll spare others the shame and share a story of my own stupidity instead. Not quite a ramp story, but the concept applies.
December of 2001, pool 18 of the River; my friend and I are spending a cold, windy day bucking conflicting wind/current seams for a (very) few uncooperative walleye when we decide to take a break and warm up. We slide up onto the bank on the spillway(Iowa) side in the “walleye hole”, a scour hole that cuts through the island just off the last roller. A dim sun and a break out of the wind actually feels kind of nice, and we end up walking along the spillway over to the Iowa shore and back. Coming back, something doesn’t look quite right. As we get closer I realize my boat’s no longer on the bank. It was a heavy fiberglass Ranger, so some idiot(me) figured it’d be fine and didn’t tie it off or anchor it before wandering off on a jaunt. It’s now out there 30yds or so and hung up in some brush.
Mind you, it’s December; the water temp was showing 36 degrees that day. We stood around scratching our butts trying to figure out what to do. We talked about swimming for it-the plan was for me to try it(he had a family) and get it to shore and then he would go balls to the wall back to the ramp and hopefully I wouldn’t freeze up before he got there. We kept getting hung up on how fast the hypothermia would kick in and whether or not I’d be able to pull myself over the side once I’d swum that cold, cold water. It was a real thing. We were the only ones out that day, miles from the ramp, on the wrong side of the river with nothing on that side at all. We were going to find a way to get that boat back or spend the night.
In the end caution won out, sort of. I hunted around and finally found a way to scale the fence around the locks, then walked the catwalk all the way across to the Illinois shore(lock side) where I could climb down and start looking for a lock-master or someone. I finally found one, whom I scared the bejeesus out of(“WHERE THE HELL DID YOU COME FROM!?!” This was right after 9/11 remember? EVERYTHING the Government owned was still on high alert and off limits-including the Corps facilities). Once we danced around and determined I wasn’t a terrorist bent on blowing up the Corps’ lock system, I received a VERY stern butt chewing and lecture about it all-including the idiocy of letting my boat float away from me. All true, all much deserved.
In the end he was generous enough to fuss around and get the old Corps boat hanging off the lock wall lowered and running, then gave me a ride over to my boat on the opposite bank.
I try to remember this every time I see something dumb on the water or at the ramp and want to feel all superior. I was(and am) normally a very careful and conscientious boater, but that day I blew it. In the end, it made for a good story to tell, but the truth is my carelessness could have ended very badly for both of us and others; instead of “only” creating a giant PITA for some poor lock-master who also happened to be very gracious and kind.

FishBlood&River I know exactly what boat landing you are talking about because we have a boat right in Point Marina in Prescott. You will see some crazy things but one thing we all have to remember is we all were new or young and didnt know how to do things properly.

When ever i’m at a boat landing I always try and lend a hand to someone if i see them struggling or just give them a tip. When I first started going to the landing by myself I struggled as well and will always remember the guy who gave me tips on backing up a trailer into the water.

But I still love hearing all these stories! No matter what you will always see something bizarre at the landing or even out on the water and especially out on the St. Croix!

walleyebuster5 wrote:

Anyone ever see any fights at a landing??

Yep! – Good one that I couldn’t help but laugh at. I had my boat already in and waiting on clients to show. Meanwhile, this guy by-passes the long line of boats that are in a staging area. Backs up on the ramp, puts it in park, and THEN begins to unload his truck. Bait buckets, cooler, gear….. Needless to say everyone was PO’d that this guy didn’t prep in line like everyone else and the shouting match really kicked into gear. When this guy screamed at the top of lungs that they all could F@#! off, another guy opened his truck door, and backed his boat in the water (While they are still loading crap into the boat) Boat owner runs to his truck, opens the door, and pulls the guy out and starts clobbering the crap out of him……as the boat is drifting down river, and the truck rolls in. That 10 minute delay turned into over an hour as the tow truck and cops had to get involved.

Few others –
Tournament, and we have about 80 boats being launched. One the first boats launched started to sink – forgot to put the plug in. With about 50 other trucks/rigs in line, the guy had no chance of getting his boat back on the trailer before it went down.

Racine 6th street launch – Guy with a brand new Lund Tyee. I was talking to him while he was prepping and he was excited for the first outing in his new rig. I saw he he took the front safety chain and strap off and quickly told him to never do that with roller bunks. He gave me a funny look and told me heavy boats don’t “just roll off”. He pulled up to the ramp as I was hollering to him to stop. As soon as he began to back up, the boat rolled off. Took out the lower unit and bent the transom. I gave him a funny look as I launched my boat.

Watched a guy tie a rope to a dock cleat, and proceed to launch. He forgot to secure the other end to his boat and it immediately drifted away.

Here is one for the worlds dumbest criminal –

Lake Mendota – Guy launches his boat while his partner goes to use the can. He ties his boat off, and goes to the can himself after he parks. I assumed it was his buddy that got into the boat and took off without him. Moment later 2 guys walk up to the dock with the most dumbfounded looks on their faces “WTF….where’s my boat?” I responded with your buddy left without you…as we all just realized the boat was just stolen.
So then, I begin to laugh. How do you steal a boat without a truck and trailer. The crook dumped it up by the yahara river mouth and walked away.

Numerous people forget to put the plug in or remove rear tie downs.

But one of my favorites was a simple over site from a young kid down by Silver Lake in Kenosha. Guessing about 16 or 17 years old and first time taking a boat out. You could just tell how excited this kid was to get in and get going……after the trials and learning curve of backing his boat in, he parked and returned to his boat to go. Then the F-bombs started to fly. He forgot all his fishing gear at home

I grew up next to a boat landing in the north metro. I have soon many stories but one stands out. This happened in the late 70’s early 80’s.
A pair of middle aged brothers came to the lake pretty often. They were loud and argued everytime they came. We had a nickname for them that was derived from their relationship not so much their heritage. They fought and called each other names like you can’t imagine.

They drove a cadillac from the 60’s I swear was 30′ long, they also had an old runabout with a Force motor on it. The boat and car had matching fins. It seemed no matter how many times these guys loaded and unloaded a boat they would not learn how to do it properly and with any amount of serenity. We would hear them start arguing then peek over the fence to watch the hilarity that ensued.

So One guys is backing the boat down the ramp, the boat won’t come off the trailer. The brother on the dock yells and swears at his brother to back in further. The car is now backed into the bumper. Driver gets out and yells back at his brother to get in the water and lift it……off the ROLLER trailer. OF course the war of words escalates, “You Dumb Butt you get in the water, I ain’t getting in its your turn”….on and on and on. Eventually they decide to back in a bit further. The boat stays on the trailer, the fight continues. The driver fed up with being yelled at gets out of the car and just starts railing on the Brother……meanwhile that 30′ cadillac is slowly driving itself into the drink. The boat still firmly attached, BY THE TIE DOWN, which we all saw the whole time, is now exiting the water motor first as the trailer tires climbed the back side of the ramp pit. The cadillac eventually contacted the back wall of the deep pit of the landing and stopped, boat in the air Caddy full of water.

We were in tears. You can’t fix stupid….

1999’ish at Monument Bay Resort in the NW Angle. Some IL dude that was probably the inspiration for Dan Akroyd’s character in “The Great Outdoors” is staying up there with this brand new big Ranger bass boat, must have been at least a 21 footer with a big Mercury on it. Monument Bay is on an island and it has a low rock wall protecting the small private harbor. pseudo-Dan Akroyd decides to come into the harbor one day ON PLANE. Tore off the lower unit of his brand new motor on the rock wall. What does one do when this happens? He gets on his phone and has a new motor and two Merc technicians flown into Warroad and barged up to the island so it could be replaced without interrupting his vacation…. Didn’t bat an eyelash at the expense……

Saturday. Prescott

Wish I had taken a photo but phone was in boat and it was quite the poop show.

~27′ cruiser on up current side of dock loading boat. I was tied to downstream side.

While grabbing my truck the cruiser starts “their” loading process. With trailer backed in and child in drivers seat playing with steering wheel, the boat operator has put the inboard into gear and with trim up, and throttle gunned was throwing water 7′ in air and throwing water onto the last several feet of the dock.
No one was in boat for several minutes while throttle pinned and throwing water.
Operator was on winch.

While backing in I saw this and floored my trailer into the water as disaster only moments away.

I ran into the dock and told the guy standing on dock to throttle down!!!!!!
I was concerned the wheel would turn and that giant stream of water would fill my boat in a heartbeat… Which was where my daughter was still sitting, in the boat.

I would bet 5 minutes of flushing the dock with water before someone reduced the throttle.

Never seen anything like it.

I loaded my boat as fast as possible to get the hell out of harm’s way.

That could’ve gone so badly.

With the motor trimmed up so much and throttle so high, they were only making it harder to winch it on.

Kid in the truck looked like he was moments from causing big trouble.

But the 6 people that came from that boat all watched the one guy do his thing and they stood watching the chaos like it was standard operating procedure.

I was pissed for the danger they put my daughter and vessel in.
Would’ve been hilarious from any other seat!
Unbelievable!

Hard to describe how dumb that loading poop show was.

Being I haven’t seen any stories about ice fishing accesses, I figured I would share one of those. A few years back I was getting ready to hit a pretty large south metro lake on late ice. There was an ice ridge that formed at the landing and I had some 2×6 boards to ensure I safely crossed (there was no open water, just soft ice).

Shortly after making the crossing and walking to my spot, I hear the ear piercing sound of a small engine revving up at the landing. I immediately stop and turn my head faster than the Number 5 robot from the 80’s movie ‘Short Circuit’. I then see two young kids in a Ford Aspire looking like they’re about to re-create a scene from Dirty Harry when Clint Jumps his Oldsmobile while chasing a perp. They floor it and start heading towards the ridge in their Aspire (which I assume is the 3 cylinder because of how slow it was).

They hit the ridge at a moderate speed and get all 4 tires off the ground and land on the ice and just keep going like they were headed to church on a Sunday morning. I was in a state of shock, It all happened so fast I didn’t know if I should be impressed or mad at how stupid they were. I fished for about 4 hours and had to head home, they were still out there fishing when I left. I did not get a chance to see how their exit strategy would work, which made me upset. I did, however, watch the evening news to see if they reported a sinking go-cart sized car. The things you see…

Have launched 1,000’s of times in my 30+ years of fishing, both alone and with buddies. As much as I’ve launched, things still sometimes go wrong, usually when too excited to get on the water. More than once, I’ve inadvertently left one of the two transom tie-down strap on my Ranger 621. Not knowing this, I tried to push the boat off the trailer with the truck per usual and had the boat float the trailer still lashed tightly by the tie-down, yet enough tension was lifted to allow the bow to be pushed off the bow rest. When this happens, there is no reeling her back onto the bow rest and starting over, so I’ve learned to save myself a ton of aggravation, time, and embarrassment by just quickly cutting the darned strap with a pocket knife and let the boat float free. I keep a spare retractable trailer tie-down with me now…and it has come in handy more than I care to admit. Oh well… Chalk these incidence up to ‘nobody is perfect’? lol

I taught myself a little jingle that I say every time I launch and load a boat – motor up, straps off/on, plug in/out. Seems to help me avoid disaster so far

I launched my new boat for the first time this spring to do the break in on the motors on the nicest day we had had yet a balmy 29 degrees with a slight breeze. We pull down to the deserted boat ramp, due to the cold, and take our time unhooking everything and getting it into the water. Wife backs me in I fire up the new motor back off and just put it in neutral and start playing with the new graph. By the time she gets the truck parked and comes back down to the dock the slight breeze had pushed me in close to the bank so I put it in gear but it wouldn’t turn! I quickly took it back out of gear but I already had enough forward momentum to be sending me towards the rock in a brand new boat. I had forgotten to take off the steering blocks on the hydraulic steering (a step I never had to do on the last boat) so at this point I am in panic mode running back to rip them off and get it in reverse before I hit something. I managed to not hit anything and it is funny now that I think about it but at the time it definitely wasn’t. My wife meanwhile was standing on the dock laughing at me scrambling all over the boat. I am just glad there wasn’t anyone else around that day.

Ryan Hughes wrote:

Wife backs me in I fire up the new motor back off and just put it in neutral and start playing with the new graph. By the time she gets the truck parked and comes back down to the dock the slight breeze had pushed me in close to the bank so I put it in gear but it wouldn’t turn!

Impressive that your wife backs it in!

mnrabbit wrote:

Impressive that your wife backs it in!

I’ve got her trained up right! We are like a well oiled machine at the boat ramp compared to 90% of the weekenders you see out there. Practice makes perfect I suppose.

mnrabbit wrote:

Impressive that your wife backs it in!

Hell, I married my wife because she can back a trailer!

Had tournament guys blocking access to the parking lot out at Big Marine a couple of years back. What was dumber then the block was 2 groups ahead of us just sat there and said nothing-they were glad when I spoke up and the tourny guys were polite about moving. I remind myself to be patient out there-I tell myself ‘hey I get to fish on a beautiful day and if my biggest problem is waiting for someone at the launch then I have a pretty good life”

Speaking of ice fishing, several years back I had a two wheel drive pickup. Went to a landing to park and walk out on the ice. There was a small ice ‘hump’ that was the remnants on an old mostly melted snowbank that I drove the front half the truck over (like others did) so my rear end wasn’t sticking out in the way of the turn around of the parking area. While fishing a freezing rain starts. When I decided to call it quits everyone else was gone at the ramp. After packing up I go to back up so I can turn around. As soon as my front wheels get to that little hump, there I sit as the rear wheels are just spinning on the ice coating from the rain. I had chains for the vehicle, sitting uselessly in the garage. So with no one around I decide to leave the truck in reverse and drivers door open, get out and grab the front bumper and start rocking the truck. A few rocks and I was able to get it over the hump. So then I had to book it back around, jump in the seat and stop the now freely backing up truck before in hit some trees on the other end of the lot (small lot). It worked just fine but not one of my more stellar moments, probably would have been a hoot to watch.

I own a 4wd now and no intention of owning a 2wd pickup again either.

This thread is hilarious! Giving it a bump to see if we have any other untold funny stories

Took my dad and me 20 minutes at the boat ramp to finally call it quits figuring out the boat buckle and grab a ratchet strap from the truck. Completely owned by a boat buckle, good grief we hadn’t even had a beer yet!!

I had the tilt/trim go out at the landing one time. I released the bleeder screw so I could lift motor up and drop the stow arm.. I found out quickly how heavy a 225 evinrude motor is.. I could get it just about high enough to flip the stow bar but couldnt quite make it.. Well since I turned the bleeder screw, my skeg is only 4 inches from the ground.. I paced back and forth wondering how I was going to get this boat the 3 miles to my house.
Its getting dark, and Ive tried for over an hour to get this motor lifted up so I call a buddy who is 20 miles away to see if he will come help me lift up the motor. He says “why dont you just leave it down and drive home?” I reply, “i cant dumbass, its 4 inches from the road!”.. He pauses a minute and says “cant you just put up your jackplate and drive the 3 miles?”
To this day I cant believe I didnt figure that one out

I had a friend tell me a good one the other day.

So a new boat owner realizes his plug doesn’t fit so goes to buy a new boat plug. But there new one doesn’t “fit” so back he goes for another plug. #3

Anyway, my buddy was getting bait at the same store this guy was buying his #3, except before leaving the store this new boat owner tried his new plug. Hmmm still loose. Puzzled he asked my friend, who has a similar basic aluminum boat “what size plug hole does your boat have?” My buddy relies “they’re all a standard size, so same one as you most likely”.

This guy still puzzled my buddy goes over to see what is wrong… And quickly realized this guy wasn’t spinning the plug to snug it up… So he says “spin it” and the guy starts to spin the entire plug, not actually the way that would tighten it… My buddy interjects and shows him exactly how the plug expands… And the new boat owner had an AH HA! Lol.

My only response to this story was to ask my friend “did you ask him what lake he was going to?” Haha… Wouldn’t want to be stuck in line behind THAT GUY

the simplest of things haha

Long lines…fella gets toward the end and very un tactfully complains about the organization and the length of time taken to launch.

Once on the ramp his boat won’t float off the trailer. Yup, transom straps still on. Pulls ahead far enough where he won’t get wet…takes the straps off and boat slides off trailer effectively clogging the ramp until enough people are organized to push er in the water.

Same landing about a week or so ago

Guy in his brand-new boat gets backed in by someone else. Doesn’t notice his motor cocked to one side as well as his trailer is not straight as well. Floats off puts it in reverse and hits the dock, pops the corner of the dock bumper off and scraps up the side of the boat on the exposed wood. Floats there for a bit, tries to get the bumper that is floating and says screw it and motors away.

Couple is out with their toon. Guy backs in trailer and wife is in the toon driving it on the trailer and he is directing her. They get their communication crossed and she ends up saying why don’t you drive it on and I will back in the trailer…… I ended up seeing him in the water aligning the toon as they had the trailer too far in water and the back end was floating off.