auto acronyms and car jokes

the thread on ford spark plugs got me to thinking about all of the names I have heard that are derived from the manufacturers name and a couple of jokes,please add to this list if you can as I dont remember them all,besides,its a crappy rainy day here in central Iowa,and I could use a laugh.
if you are offended by some so be it,quit wearing your shorts so tight.

honda: have ordered new datsun already.( or insert your favorite D word here)

jeep: just empty every pocket.

chevy: cheap heap,eats valves yearly.

mopar: mostly old parts and rust

dodge: look it up in websters dictionary, ( to avoid )

porsche: pulled off road poop car cant hit eighty

pontiac: poor old nimrod thinks its a caddilac
and the GTO version: get tools out,or, garbage truck with overdrive.

toyota,because every kid wants one!! ( toy yoda )

and just because ford made it so easy.
FORD: found off road dead,
friggin old rebuilt dodge,
fast only rolling downhill,
first on race day,
my favorite, friggin owners real dumb
ford circled the problem at the factory,for those who dont get it,look at the emblem.

the japanese had built a new car and wanted a cool sounding german name for it,so they called the engineer at mercedes and told them they had the new car ready for sale and needed a name in less than a week,the engineer replied, ‘dat soon’?

why do fords get such good gas mileage? because they sit in the shop six months out of the year.

cars and women are a lot alike,on a cold morning when you need it the most,neither one of them will roll over.

what do harley’s and dogs have in common? they both like riding in the back of trucks.

dodge is coming out with heated tailgates so your hands wont get cold pushing them in the winter

lets hear some more!!

In high school, I was a Fiat, “fix it again Tony” owner. I paid more in maintenance cost than what I originally paid for the car.

For all Asian cars “rice grinder”.
For all German cars “Natzimobile”.

Fudged Over Road Disaster

I forgot about fiat,fix it again tomorrow,thanks superdave!! fix it again tony jogged that one!
remember the cobra? checked over,broke rod again!!
and then the dodge charger R/T series,we used to kid the owners of these that stood for Rat Turd,thats what happened when a big block chevy went by and sucked it up and crapped it out the tail pipe.
for those who dont get that,the venerable small block chevy was called a mouse motor,the big block was the rat version.

Found on Road Dead.

Grouse

flaking off rust daily

Acura – another car under repair again

the old ford pick ups had raised metal letters on the tail gates, we would pull off the F and D and switch them around. Made a lot of people mad. DORF

MOPAR-mounds of putty and rust.

FORD backwards-driver returns on foot.

GMC-garage mans companion.

CHEVROLET-cracked heads every valve rattles oil leaks every time.

GMC: government motors corporation

GMC: great mountain climber

thanks guys!! appreciate the laughs,keep ’em coming!

Brand new Japanese car company were asking the German for a name cuz they were ready for mass production in one week…the Polish worker said, “Dat soon?”

And Datsun was born…

KIA – killed in action, kick its arse.

what do you call two people in a yugo?
a wego

FORD- F#@ked on race day.

GTO stands for gas, tires, oil.

MOPAR- go fast. Go far. Walk home.

HMMWV – high money maintenance wheeled vehicle.

HUMVEE – Huge ugly motor vehicle enters & exits

FORD fix or repair dayly

BMW-bring money with.

Eelpoutguy wrote:

the old ford pick ups had raised metal letters on the tail gates, we would pull off the F and D and switch them around. Made a lot of people mad. DORF

Hey now, Leave me out of this!
singed,
D. Orf

BMW – buy more wrenches

Henry Ford dies and goes to Heaven. At the gate, St Peter tells Henry Ford: “Well, you’ve been such a good guy, invented the car, changed the world. As a reward you can hang out with anybody in Heaven of your choice.” So Henry Ford thinks about it and says: “I would like to hang out with God himself?” So St Peter takes him directly to God’s thrown and Henry Ford starts by saying: “God, I don’t want to sound biased, but you have some major design flaws in Your invention, the Woman. 1. There’s too much front end protrusion 2. It chatters at high speeds 3. The rear end wobbles too much 4. The intake is too close to the exhaust.” “HMMMM” says God and goes over to the Celestial Super Computer, types in a few key strokes, and waits for the results. He then turns to Henry Ford and says; “It may be that My invention is flawed, but according to the stellar computer more men are riding My invention then your’s”.

The big news was the New Ford F150 was being built from aluminum to make it lighter for better mpg. I heard the reason was so it was lighter to push.

MOPAR or no car

Get yourself a chevy silveraydo

Warning contains adult language